Early Pregnancy Symptoms and Big Fat Positives
BFP while on a break from IUI treatment!
Like many others have said, I can't believe I am writing this about my own BFP, after being only a "reader" of this wesbite for so long! I almost feel like I memorized some of the entries on this website! I never thought it would happen to me. My almost 2 year TTC journey has seemed so long and endless. I feel like I really grew as a person during this journey though. And I believe I was meant to wait in order for this growth to happen.
My husband and I are both 35. We started trying naturally 2 years ago with no success after 1 year. So then we went to see a fertility specialist and were diagnosed with the frustrating "unexplained infertility." We started with clomid + intercourse for 3 cycles, then 2 cycles with clomid + IUI, then 1 cycle with follistim + IUI + progesterone suppositories. For the last 2 IUI cycles I concurrently started seeing an acupuncturist who would do needling and medical massage every week, also giving me particular herbal supplements and diet suggestions for every point of my cycle. I really feel the acupuncture treatment helped and it was pretty neat that I could actually see the improvement of uterine lining and follicle size when I would go in for my IUI scans.
I was so hopeful for all of my cycles, only to be disappointed every time. It was just month after month of devastation! I was always so convinced I was pregnant each cycle because of progesterone symptoms. I would furiously be online checking message boards comparing my symptoms to everyone else's. It was so difficult to deal with, especially with all my friends starting their families. I felt so discouraged, so rejected from the life I thought I deserved. I kept questioning, why?
Then my mother in law directed me to Joel Osteen podcasts. I don't normally like the idea of televangelists but I liked his particular constant message. Do not wallow in your troubles. God has put you there because you are meant to work through it and will come out wiser and stronger because of it. It is up to you how you decide to view and work through everything. Don't be short sighted and just see the troubling place you are in, for it is that very dark place that will direct you to the life you want.
After receiving this message, I began looking at things differently. I became more optimistic and positive that things will work out, that I just had to be patient. I started appreciating my life as it was: my husband, our house, my job, the beautiful trails I would run and bike. This love and sense of appreciation carried over to the way I treated others - with just pure positivity and love. We took a spontaneous trip with another couple to Europe which was almost life changing to me. I reveled in the fact that we didn't have kids and could just drop everything to take off to beautiful countries!
I decided to take a break from treatment because it was pretty stressful dealing with the shots, suppositories, taking time off work, not knowing if my follicles were good enough, enduring invasive procedures. We still tried naturally (using pre-seed like we normally had been doing) but "just for fun" and "just to see" and this is the cycle that I got a positive!
I got increased hunger and boob soreness 1 week before my period and decreased bowel movements per usual. Usually, though, when my period comes the hunger and boob soreness will dissipate and my bowel movements will be come more frequent and loose. The only thing different this time that made me test is of course the missed period but also the persistent boob soreness, hunger, and constipation.
I honestly believe our souls have a purpose in life to learn and grow. This sometimes cannot happen without disappointments and failures. Do not be short sighted! See the great future that you have ahead!