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Title: CD 17 and day after I went to see my OB.
Category: sad
Blog Entry: Im starting to really wonder if god intends for us to have children. So yesterday I go in and see my OB and as im sitting half naked she proceeds to do a pap on me. Well.. needless to say she did not check my chart or look at the comments about my pregnancy. She did not even realize I went in at the beginning of the month for a few PG test because I had to point that out to her. She was on vacation at the time but still I would have thought they would have left my chart for her. So three weeks after I started to bleed she wants me to go get another blood test to make sure im not PG anymore since I literally only bled for 4 days. So according to her I have to wait to see when my REAL AF comes and we can go from there which she said could be anywhere from 6 to 12 weeks. WOW.. more waiting.. So im at a cross roads. DO I continue to take the clomid I have left and see if I Get another BFP or just give up for now, give myself a break. I swear for the last two years my life has revolved around temping, charting, OPK and HPT. Our sex life has gone down so much and well I know he is tired of me pushing him to sleep with me when it used to be so wonderful now I just want to get it over with so I can prop my legs up and place a pillow under my butt. The heartaches I have gone thru are so much. I get so happy only to be shot down and that is the worse heart ache of all. I don't think I can take another one. Also.. why do docs seem so insensitive. Don't they know how hard this is on us?? Don't they know we want to see action and results.. Don't they know for us playing the waiting game is killer on our already fragile state of mind?? I swear.. I wish I can go in and my doc with out me being so pushy would say lets see what's going on.. Lets test you and see if we get an US.. and honestly if you as a doc don't have the mind set to deal with WANNABEMOMS after dealing with PG ladies all day then send me someplace where I will be treated the way I deserve. Well im just frustrated, sad, and a lil pissed off.. No one around me knows how much my heart hurts on a daily basis and I thank you ladies for allowing me the opportunity to vent. Off to work.. lets see if I can make it thru the day..