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Trying-to-Conceive Blog

I admit I'm scared

I was lying in bed last night and was struck with the overwhelming fear of getting a bfp. I mean I'm suddenly terrified. What makes me think this is a good idea?! Like they say in Juno, pregnancy can often lead to an infant. I love infants. I want a family. But omg I can't be the only one who might have a panic attack at the thought of actually getting one?! So much responsibility! We're committed and up for it, and I've read all the books and made all the plans, but can you ever really be prepared for a child? What if somehow I'm not a good mom?

Obviously I would be really excited too. Don't get me wrong - we WANT kids. 

This is a normal, realistic response, right? 

Comments

Hi! It is completely normal! At least I think so, as I feel the same way!! I get scared when I think about it too much. I think if we WEREN'T scared then there would be a problem! It's a lot of responsibility, I mean we will be responsible for keeping another human being alive! But at the same time I am so excited for the day I find out I'm pregnant! I'm excited to all of these firsts with my husband. He seems more terrified about the actual birth.. than of having an infant. He thinks he's going to pass out. (comforting right!?) I'm scared that I won't be a good mom. I'm scared that I won't feel the "connection" the first time I see my baby. I'm glad to know I'm not alone :)

Don't worry- everyone feels this way at some point- and if they say they don't, they're lying!!  I think it's the thought that there's no going back once you get the bfp. Especially if you are a first time mother- where so much regarding pregnancy and motherhood is unknown.  Personally, I didn't feel so overwhelmed when I was actually pregnant- I focussed on the birth, wanting to be very prepared. it was when I held my daughter in my arms for the first time- I was so happy, but so terrified at the same time. In the end, you don't 'know' your baby when its born. You don't know what their cries mean- do they want a feed, a change or a cuddle????  To feel terrified doesn't mean you're not ready. i think it shows insight for the huge change that will happen to your life once you see that little line appear. Good luck and babydust for that bfp!! 

I had the same thing happen when I became pregnant with my first son. After that, I didn't have any more panicks until the day we were to take him home from the hospital. All I could think was, "How can they let me take this little creature home? They don't know if I'll take care of him! I don't know what I'm doing!" Lol. We didn't even know how to strap him into the carseat, or how to put the carseat into the car! He's nine and I still have days like that! Guess it just comes with the territory and you eventually get used to that panick. :)

Thank you ladies for sharing your stories!!! They made me laugh and feel a lot better about my concerns.  Back in June before we were ttc we thought I might be pregnant and I was excited but then I broke crying bc I was so terrified lol. Obviously we're trying now (that "scare" led us to ttc in a weird way) and I don't think I would feel blindsided like I did then, but I think I still may feel forever unprepared! I'm so glad I'm not alone though. :) Calms my nerves lol. 

I also think a lot of it stems from this idea that mothers have it all figured out (you know how when you're young it seems this way) and since I haven't reached perfection (nor will I ever) I think it gives the feeling "I can't be a mom! I'm not perfect yet!" Haha. Or some ridiculous thing like that. :)

That happens to me! I start freaking out wondering if I am making the right decision, if we are ready, or have enough money, or should I find another job first, or what if I won't be a good mom? I'll even get to nervous to test. I am so glad I am not the only one...   

Aw, spazzle, don't feel that way! None of us are perfect! I do things every day that I question later. One of my friends went through nursing school, and she said the students' motto was, "Fake it till you make it!" Lol. That's my outlook on parenthood. I'm going to pretend, in front of my son and my family/friends, that I know what I'm doing and at some point I may feel like I do. Then, I'm going to tell my REALLY close friends all the horrible things I've done as a parent over a tall margarita. :D

I was scared when we first started trying to conceive. I kept wondering if we were making the right decision. But I think I'm more comfortable with it now. I'm honestly just scared of getting a BFN!

I had typed up a response but I guess it didn't post. The real thing is much different from just reading a book, and there's a lot that will "feel right" when the time comes.   The fact that you would even worry about being a good parent shows you will be.. your child is not even yet concieved and you want the best for him/her. :) 

I'm ttc my 3rd and I feel like this all the time. I believe it's very normal and actually a good sign that you're thinking it all through and it's not a decision you made lightly. The unknown is exactly that - the unknown, but we make these decisions with the best of intentions and hopefully after gathering info and using our insight. As a parent there will be many moments where you feel out of your depth or maybe question still if you made the right decision. This doesn't make you a bad parent nor does it mean you made the wrong decision. Trust in yourself - things always work out as they should ;-)

Awww thanks guys. :) I doubt I'll stop worrying (I'm a worrier) but you guys have at least made me stop worrying about worrying haha. I'm in good company. :)

My DH thinks he's going to pass out too! He has trouble with blood or even talking about blood. Haha. Gonna be interesting! 

Haha my dh's best friend & his girlfriend are having a baby in April, (he is one of the few that know we are TTC). He said he's nervous too, and he'll tell him what it's like. I'm like really.. You are NOT going to be the one in excruciating pain!! I joke with him and tell him hes not going to steal my thunder by passing out in the floor! (which he isn't amused by haha!) 

Spazzle: my hubby is bad with blood too, but I'm facinated with anatomy. When my son was born the physician asked if I'd like to see the placenta and remnants of the amniotic sac, so of course I said yes! My hubby was gone so fast I couldn't believe it! Lol. And he wouldn't cut the cord..nurse had to do it. :D I was worried he was going to pass out, and he almost did when they had to do an epesiotomy. He still can't handle blood, poop, pee, or vomit so I get to do all the cleaning up after DS and the two dogs. *sigh* Makes for some good jokes though!