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Trying-to-Conceive Blog

Crabby Pre-AF Rant

I have a headache from hell, which I assume means that this weather has killed my sinuses and/or that AF will arrive on schedule tomorrow. Sweet sweet DH brought me mini chocolate Haagen Das and some wine, and it helped my spirits, at least (disclaimer: even if I fall into that 13% pregnant with bfn on cd14, one glass of wine will not be the worst thing in the world).

I suppose the real reason I'm ranting is that one of my only friends who knows I'm ttc got on my very last nerve today (not difficult to do right now, in her defense) by exploiting my knowledge of cycles. I've become something of the cycle guru to my non-ttc friends, because thanks to all my research and charting I know more than your average woman. (I claim I got all of this knowledge from the natural family planning classes we had to take before we got married - we're Catholic. That's mostly true). Anyway, she's apparently been using a period tracker app (not a charting app) to try to figure out when she shouldn't have random hook-ups, and she apparently started doing this based on the fact that I suggested she get a period tracker app so she didn't keep telling me she thought she was late every month. So she explains that she thinks she's having a longer cycle this time and that she has cramps, etc., so she thinks she Os today, but she wanted to know what I thought because if she Oed today then she would avoid sex for a few days. I'm just like... none of that will do you any good because you would have needed to avoid at least four days prior also, which you definitely didn't. I was just so frustrated. I don't know why people who want to avoid pregnancy don't just a) get on birth control or b) at least learn how to actually chart their fertility signs so that they have a much better chance of avoiding. And does no one worry about stds anymore? Is that just uncool, or something? I'm all for sexual liberation, but her comments just got to me. I wanted to scream. I just don't care to explain fertility to people who haven't even made an effort to figure it out beyond downloading a frickin period tracker app but are using it as birth control.  I just don't.  Not to mention it's not super fun for someone who is ttc to have to listen to someone talk about all of her "pregnancy scares" from all of her random hook-ups. (Disclaimer pt. 2: I know I could talk to her about it. Probably will. For the sake of our friendship, today was not the day).

I felt petty typing all of that out, but actually, I feel a lot better now! Sorry this isn't as upbeat as my usual posts. Everyone gets a pass to be crabby on 14dpo, though, right?! ;) 

My best to all of you.

6mo ttc - 7mo off bcp - 14dpo - no spotting yet but clearly ^^^ not a ray of sunshine right now so it's expected shortly


1 in 4 people have an STD. It's disgusting! I don't understand how people can be willing to risk that on somebody they barely know! I hope your af doesn't show tomorrow, but if she does you should know you've spread a lot of positivity with your blogs this cycle. Thanks and good luck!

I feel your pain! When people talk about not wanting to get pregnant, it feels as if they don't understand the struggle we are going through to get pregnant. All of us do not want to be ttc! That's the last thing we want.. What we want is to be pregnant.. obviously some people will not get what we're going through. keep ranting Whenever you feel the need.. It helps! :)

Lezlie, thank you for that!  I live in the bible belt. Shouldn't surprise me a grown woman needs a safe sex talk, but probably needs to happen. Sigh.

sorry to hear you had to deal with that! We love hearing from you and how you are feeling, no matter what. I hope AF does not show up and if it does, best wishes for your next cycle. I really hope we all get our BFP soon.

Thank you, Need Hope. I guess it is important to remember the therapeutic nature of a good rant! We definitely don't have room for harboring negativity! I know and respect everyone's fertility decisions and it is frustrating when ppl seem ignorant / unable to do the same for we who are ttc. 

Thank you, eabwhab! Are you joining us for another cycle as well? We're all getting closer!  :)

All crabby rants are welcome. That is what this website is for ! LOL. I am so nervous about calling my friends now that I don't want them to answer the phone when it rings. I am so scared that someone will pop the word out that she is pregnant :( Anyway, I am 8 dpo. No symptoms whatsoever. I need to visit my friend next week who just had a baby a few weeks ago. :-\

And spazzle.. Your positive comments always make me smile, and bring hope to my heart! and I wanted to comment on tulip!!! So sorry you have to visit a friend who just had a baby :( 

yes, I am CD4 and being hopeful. This is my first monitored and stimulated cycle. The dr wants to give the best chance to my 'working' side. It is nice to be able to share our feelings in here. Good luck to you all.

That does sound hopeful, indeed! We'll be  tww buddies again in a few weeks! I can't wait to see everyone get her bfp!

Where are you at in the bible belt? Tennessee girl here :) I have also enjoyed reading your blogs! Currently waiting to ovulate. This is our 4th cycle off bcp. Hoping for that bfp this go round!

I'm in TN as well. Glad we all agree rants are very welcome here. I think it's safe to say we'd all be crazy otherwise lol.

Well done spazzel as you said everybody ahs to rant well I am out this month and on the March roll now the witch showed her ugly face today I am gutted but hey we just have to get on with it and away we go again lots of BD this month my BF loves this part he says there is a reason it did nto happen this month and now we can get giggy again LOL!!!!

I hope AF keeps away for u Spazzle.... As for  your friend, how can anyone be so careless and insensitive! Sorry u had to take that from her...  I wd hv givena nice long lecture, if it had been me! ;) Thinking of u...Good luck! 

What!? Other Tennessee girls?! No way!  I'm in Memphis, but originally a small town girl. How crazy tww can be!  :D Spotting this morning but sure AF will be here before the day is out so I'm likely cd1 today. 

Oh I pray it will not show up at all for you Spazzel good luck xx

That friend sounds like a handful right now -- sorry you have to deal with that, and that you're feeling pms-y. If she's really that worried and doesn't want to be on bc, why doesn't she make him pull out? Worked for me for 6 years. But I guess you have to trust the guy (and it sounds like she has multiple.) Or, better yet, condoms! Helps prevent std's, too.  Anyway, probably best to just put her out of your mind, focus on ice cream and wine, and the fact that you're one month closer to your bfp. :) And of course, this is the best place to rant when you need to, so bring it on!

Thanks, ladies!  :)  She is a work friend so I see her constantly, which makes the situation feel so overwhelming at times, I think. She's recently divorced, and I support her autonomy, but that convo about ovulation was too much for me. Like that charting / fertility is a game or something, which really stings to many of us ttc because it definitely isn't a game and we've spent time and tears learning our bodies. That's what got me most. I hate to see people being irresponsible with their fertility is all. I'm definitely. A communicator, I don't mind helping a friend or discussing my concerns, but probably best to leave AF out of it... lol.  I cannot express enough how you like-minded ladies have made me feel better! We all have that friend. Or those friends, lol. Some days we're all just trying to make it. Thanks for keeping me in good company!