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Trying-to-Conceive Blog

Bundle of prayers

My husband and I have been TTC our first child for over 5 years now and we have decided to look into infertility treatment. After seen a Specialist we had testing done and found out everything is OK and the cause of our infertility is unexplained. Though it's relieving to know nothing is seriously wrong with us it's frustrating because there is no cure for the unknown. To help us try and conceive we decided to try IUI. In this blog I will be updating everyone on the day to day of my TWW.

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Today we did our first IUI. Headed to the doctor for the IUI I just kept trying to relax and ease my nerves. My heart was racing, I wanted to cry, I wanted to pray, and I wanted to call and tell my whole family what I was about to do but I knew I couldn't. The doctor told me each of my ovaries had released and that the trigger shot worked well. During the process I was excited, scared, nervous, overwhelmed, and trying to hold back tears. After the IUI while laying on the bed I prayed and allowed myself to release some emotions. I cried and begged God to help us to conceive and thanked Him for his support and this opportunity. On my way back to work I tried to think of what I would tell my future child of this process. I kept saying over and over again how I would tell my baby, "We loved you so much and wanted you by our sides to badly that we prayed for you for years. With the help of God and a special doctor we were able to bring you into this world." I have an amazing husband, loving family, and a career that I love but I don't have a baby. I portray strength and happiness to the others because of my blessings but inside my heart is missing a piece. I want to tell the whole world what I am going through but I don't want anyone to know my secret. I know there are others out there that understand what I am going through that can help me through this but out of fear of this secret I don't dare tell anyone who I'm close to (besides my husband of course). My husband is having the same emotions but he seems to be handling it better than me. He knows what I'm feeling but I don't think he can understand a Woman's side of this. I just need to talk, pray, and do my best to stay relaxed and hopeful.

Today was a good day, I worked like crazy today so I was fully distracted. An even bigger plus was I joined a TTC group and even though there aren't many women on there they at least understand my desire to conceive and my treatment process. I wonder if Coco can tell that something is going on with my body because she is extra clingy with me. She normally goes back and forth between cuddling Victor and I but today she is glued to me. How can anyone not love dogs?! I just looked this up, "In order to know when embryo implantation happens, you have to know the ovulation date. About 40% of all women have conceived on the 9th day after their ovulation. Once the egg is fertilized, it travels through the fallopian tubes and into the uterine cavity. It takes around 6-7 days for the egg to make the journey transforming from zygote, to morula, and then finally to blastocyst. It then takes 2-3 days to move into the uterine cavity and get prepared for implantation." Maybe Coco can tell my body is making a blastocyst ♡.

Today was difficult, due to a migraine and being exhausted. These are both "normal" for me so I don't think they are pregnancy symptoms but I have been craving carbs and sweets, which isn't as normal but then again I'm fat so who knows lol. I found a, "Prayer for motherhood" online tonight that really touched me. It mentioned the jealousy and frustration that goes along with infertility and reminded me that there is a reason I feel that way I do and that God's plan will be enacted I just need to keep the faith. As a reminder I put this prayer on the homepage of my cell phone.

I still have a raging migraine and I'm too worried to take anything for it. The fatigue is worse than normal but I'm not sure if it's because the migraine is wearing on me or if this could be a pregnancy symptom. Not that I want to deal with a constant migraine or fatigue for nine months while being pregnant but if these are early symptoms then at least it'll be worth it in the end ♡.

@Ovary Wizard. It was very intense and very emotional but I would do it over again if it meant we could have a baby. My husband and my faith are my support. I am very emotional and this is such a very personal experience, I would love to share it more with my family but I can't. Maybe after we have a child I will share what we went through. Thanks for the thoughts♡.

I feel much better today, my migraine and fatigue have reduced to their normal level of annoyance. With the improvement of the way I felt I decided to imagine I'm pregnant and "think positive" today. Since I did the IUI I have had weird symptoms but I have been pushing them aside as my imagination to protect myself If I am not actually pregnant. Today I wanted a change so everything is a pregnancy symptom and I LOVE it! I love feeling overheated. I love the little pains in my uterus area. I love my dog being extra cuddly with me. I know our minds play a big part in how our bodies run and though I can't think myself pregnant maybe I can with an IUI. To increase my positivity I have also been talking with my husband about how we would handle specific instances, discussing how I want to do my birthing, and how we can afford maternity leave (only positive points of this one). I have an amazing mom, I know I too will be a great mother.

I haven't gotten any not notifications when you've posted but I come on this blog daily to update so I will see your posts. This is our first and hopefully last IUI but if it doesn't work this time I will look into vote and the preseed cups with my next IUI. Keep your fingers crossed for us, if you read above you see I think I might be having some symptoms ♡.