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Trying-to-Conceive Blog

A Little Nervous... kind of hopeful... the TWW Countdown...

Last month, I had a chemical pregnancy. We had BD - used the pull out method - on 12/2 and ovulated 12/5. I got a BFP the day my cycle was due but started bleeding the next day. I thought it was implantation, but it got heavier and had some (TMI) clots. Even though we were not TTC it was still devastating to have a loss. Not sure if I will be getting a BFP later this month; part of me wants another kiddo, but we will see. We BD'd using the pull out method, but he stuck it back in instantly afterwards without urinating in between. This is how it goes: 1/3) EWCM when wiped, CP - SHOW. 1/4) EWCM, CP - SHOW 1/5) O'day. BD. Less EWCM, CP - High, soft, partially open. Fatigue - probably from being on the road for 2 straight days with little rest; I didn't need melatonin to sleep like I usually take. 1/6) 1DPO. Sticky CM. CP - High medium, closed. Increased libido, (TMI) had a little solo fun which I rarely do. Boobs a little tender (NEVER happens after ovulation; usually occurs a week before AF). Fatigue - no melatonin. Food aversion. 1/7) 2DPO. Dry CM. CP - High, soft, closed. Slight increase in libido, more solo fun. Wake up to a "popping" sensation on my right ovary but no pain. Boobs super tender. Crying about everything (movies I've seen 100xs, something I think is beautiful, songs, the fact my boobies/nips hurt, etc). Food aversion. Right now, it's mostly the super emotional and tender boobs that have me a bit curious. So we wait... to see... maybe I am... maybe I'm not. TWW Countdown

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1/8) 3DPO. Dry CM. CP - High, soft, closed. Tender breasts/nips. Mood shifted to indifferent and cranky. Food aversion unless it's a specific breakfast dish (I get really painful bubble/gas in my stomach with foods - I believe this is the reason of the food aversion). Fatigue - slept almost 11 hours. 1/9) 4DPO. Creamy CM. CP - soft, closed, low (it was positioned towards the door and very low... even my CP during AF never that low... weird). Tender boobs/nips. Went to DR for back aches which have been occurring for over a month... took a standard procedure pregnancy test which will be neg since it's too early... awaiting results. Cranky/angry as heck - severe man hatred (probably lack of sleep). Fatigue - only 3 hours of sleep due to bad gas bubble keeping me up.

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Thank you Ducklife. *hugs* I try to jot everything down as it happens, but trying not to get my hopes up in case I'm not. It's very devastating, even if you're not really TTC, when you get a BFN. I've had my hopes up plenty w/ my ex-husband and destroyed me each cycle I didn't get a BFP. Maybe you are having better success? Good luck either way. :) TWW Countinue. 1/10) 5DPO. Creamy but cottage cheese like texture CM (TMI - sorry). CP - same but feels a bit swollen now. Boobs still hurting. Twinge in armpit. Still in an all out man hate (probably had to do with the argument with my BF and his stupidity Wednesday night). Very queasy as if I'm gonna throw up any second, but a burp and the feelings gone. 1/11) 6DPO. Dry CM. CP - low, medium, closed. HUGE increase in potential symptoms I'm trying to argue against. My cervix feels swollen/puffy. Boobs still hurt but feel heavier/fuller. Stuffy head/nose. Increase in smells - I have a horrible sense of smell but walking around the mall yesterday I got hit with all the different fragrances of perfume before I even got within eye-sight of the store; the smells at lunch were overwhelming. FOOD TASTES FUNNY! T.T I love my sushi, cooked preferrably, but it tasted weird like it was going bad and my friend tried said it was fine - I had the same problem with a new jar of mayo the other day but thought nothing of it. Increased libido - did a little solo play but I had contractions after (I NEVER get these... EVER). Food aversions... nothing sounds or tastes good to eat. Just over all a strange day. 1/12) 7DPO. Dry CM. CP - high, medium, closed. Boobs same. Mild AF like cramps. Less of a stuffy nose. Vivid and strange dream (watching someone I saw the switch between reality and what the person was thinking was happening). Woke up to hungry belly - ate some cereal but felt a lump in the back of my throat like I was going to vomit. Extremely bi-polar emotions - one minute I'm furious over what BF said and want to lash out, the next I'm crying my eyes out and then I get mad again. I'm also overly protective of my DS, my prized items, and not wanting to be touched. Very tempted to POAS, but I know the outcome will be a BFN. Oh, and I was snapping at the roommate for interrupting me while I'm typing this. All of this, just in the morning. The day is just starting and I don't want to know what I'm going to find. All I know is that my emotions are ruling me lately. A bit frustrating feeling like I cannot control myself. Definitely don't feel like myself at all.

1/12) 7DPO. I was right. Yesterday was not over with yet. It was mostly aggravation. I went out with a friend and every bump we hit was irritating the crap out of me; I was getting SUPER frustrated with it. Then we got to the mall and I was yelling and cursing at stupid drivers even flicking them off - even though I was not the one driving. It was a really rough evening. Oh and I thought I was smelling spinach when I baked some pizza - too lazy to cook - turns out it was the cheese making that smell. I gagged and gave it to my son. 1/13) 8DPO. Sticky and some yellowish creamy CM. CP - high, medium, tightly closed (couldn't feel slit/slight opening from DS birth). Gassy. Mild AF cramps. SUPER tender boobs made me cry and uncomfortable to sleep. Nips are the most tender part with twinges; they are puffy & lighter in color with a darkened ring around the outside (got this symptom w/ DS a few days prior to BFP and stayed that way until I was 5-6 weeks when they went back to normal). I'm extremely tempted to test tomorrow but it would only be 9DPO; afraid of a BFN.

1/14) 9DPO. Sticky creamy CM. CP - high soft closed. Less tender boobs. Woke up to a hot room but yet my feet were cold with socks and I had a stuffy nose. Eczema outbreak. AF like cramps. Slight increase libido. Indifferent and very evil like mood. BFN - too early to test? 1/15) 10DPO. Tons of creamy CM. CP - high soft closed and starting to feel irritated. Boobies hurt more again. Dizzy. Same Libido. Feeling warm, but no fever. Feet still cold. Stuffy nose and eczema still persistent. Moods - angry/b***hy got into argument with BF. 1/16) 11DPO. Creamy CM. CP - high medium closed and feeling extremely irritated. Boobs still hurt they cannot even be touched or put on bra. Constipated, but EWCM after BM. Fatigue - slept for 10 hours to take another 3 hour nap. Worse than AF cramps (Dr said it could be normal with type of surgery I had), stomach itches, frequent urination. Moods - angry/b***hy. 1/17) 12DPO. Really creamy white CM - almost like glue (CM 2 days before AF it's usually a peach-ish color). CP - high semi-soft partial open (am I out? *sobs*) and extremely irritated from all the checking probably. Boobs hurt less. Really sharp AF cramps. Constipated (TMI) pellets with more EWCM. The roommate sprayed cologne - I was gagging because I could taste it. Threw up. Fatigue - getting up to pee a lot. *Notes stop checking CP - it's getting irritated and I'm making myself crazy - and maybe test on 13DPO*