A unsupportive partner

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Re: A unsupportive partner

Postby jeepgirl88 » Wed Aug 05, 2015 6:56 am

Duke, please let us know what happens and that you're safe. We're all here for you :hugs:
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Re: A unsupportive partner

Postby SaSears » Wed Aug 05, 2015 8:10 am

I'm with jeep. First thing I did today was come check. Keep us updated and let us know if there is anything we can do!
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Re: A unsupportive partner

Postby Artemis » Wed Aug 05, 2015 9:46 am

Please check in with us Beth! Let us know if you need anything!!
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Re: A unsupportive partner

Postby mandylgibbs » Thu Aug 06, 2015 4:49 am

Duke- any updates? I'm very worried about you and the baby.
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u/s 6w 4d - 145 bpm!! Measuring a few days behind * u/s 11w 3d- 158 bpm! Measuring perfectly * Doppler 15w 6d- 155 bpm*17w 2d- 148 bpm- IT IS A PERFECT BABY GIRL!! *Aspen Violet*19w 6d- 145 bpm-Anatomy scan. Measures in 76th percentile.*23w 6d- 150bpm-healthy,active baby girl.
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Re: A unsupportive partner

Postby Duke27 » Thu Aug 06, 2015 9:41 am

Hi ladies, Thank you all so much for your support. I didn't go to the appointment and we haven't really talked about it much since. I've had my 12 week scan booking come through so looking forward to that but he doesn't know about that yet. We're not really talking or anything. I think this week I'm going to tell him that I'm keeping the baby and that's final. Wish me luck, this is very stressful and upsetting.
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Re: A unsupportive partner

Postby Yelibaby » Fri Aug 07, 2015 7:40 am

I'm glad you did not go to the app, I hope you can find some support near you to help you through this. Be strong!
Me: 31
DH: 29
TTC #1 since OCT 2014. After 1 year Nuvaring.

BFP Feb. 15, 2015 - MC at 7 weeks
BFP Apr 2015 - cp
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Re: A unsupportive partner

Postby Duke27 » Sat Aug 08, 2015 4:49 am

Thank you ladies. Finding it really hard at the moment. X
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Re: A unsupportive partner

Postby kelseyraebaby1 » Sat Aug 08, 2015 1:23 pm

No human being should get an abortion u guys made the choice together to have this baby i can tell you want the bby who cares about what hr thinks hes a sperm donor in this case what happened u havent recently posted
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Re: A unsupportive partner

Postby Duke27 » Sat Aug 08, 2015 1:24 pm

I just want to have someone that cares for me and the baby and worries about us :( I want someone that cuddles me from behind and puts his hands on my belly and you know.. what most men do when they find out they're having a child after TTC for a while. Oh well :(
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Re: A unsupportive partner

Postby kelseyraebaby1 » Sat Aug 08, 2015 1:27 pm

Sweetie u can find a man like that ifhe decides in future if he wants to be a dad let him but move on be happy. Theres a man out ther who wants love that maybe cant have kids call him a sperm donor she how he feels
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Re: A unsupportive partner

Postby Yelibaby » Sat Aug 08, 2015 3:20 pm

We all want that, that is why we are with these men and decided to have a family together. Sadly, your husband doesn't seem to want to be that guy for you.

However, now is the time to put the wellbeing of your child ahead of your wants and needs. I think you need some time to take care of yourself and your baby without the added stress your Dh is causing. Maybe after this time apart he'll come back to his senses and apologize for the abuse and hurt he caused, and for wishing the death of your child. Maybe after that time, you'll realize your strong enough to go at it alone and that you don't need this abuse in your life and you certainly don't want to be with the man who wanted to kill your baby.
Me: 31
DH: 29
TTC #1 since OCT 2014. After 1 year Nuvaring.

BFP Feb. 15, 2015 - MC at 7 weeks
BFP Apr 2015 - cp
BFP May 24th, 2015 (My bday - 9dpo)

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Beta 10dpo - 35// 12dpo - 100// 14dpo - 255// 17dpo - 1186.4// 21dpo - 7763.4

Progesterone 10dpo - 56.4 (oral progesterone)
Progesterone 14dpo - 61.3 (vaginal supplements and shot)

Please be my rainbow baby!!
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Re: A unsupportive partner

Postby Duke27 » Sun Aug 09, 2015 6:13 am

Thanks ladies. I've tried talking about things with it but it's just no use. I never thought he would ever do this to me, but how wrong was I. I've got my 12 week scan booked in and I'm really looking forward to that in 3 weeks. I just can't get this horrible fear out of my head that I would have a miscarriage beforehand or a missed miscarriage and it'll all be over and I'll be left all on my own :(

I still can't believe he wanted our baby killed. I can't believe it. I managed to get something out of him and he told me he's worried about telling his parents and his family. I mean, who cares! It's not really anything to do with them! Sorry rant finished! But honestly thank you all for your kind words and support.
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Re: A unsupportive partner

Postby jeepgirl88 » Sun Aug 09, 2015 6:25 am

Why would he be THAT worried about telling your family? It's not like you guys are young teenagers! I was actually pretty worried about telling my parents too, I thought they'd think it wasn't the right time or say something about how we don't have enough money etc. Turns out they were super happy/excited for me, especially my Mom! Again, his fears seem totally normal, but the fact that he wants to abort the baby because of them is just SO extreme :(
Me: 28
DH: 32
Married 11/09/2013
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Re: A unsupportive partner

Postby Tange86 » Mon Aug 10, 2015 12:54 pm

I agree with Lindsey.

I don't know the back story. How old are you two and are you actually married? Do you both work?

I think his freak out is a little extreme for someone who chose to try to conceive.

However at this point I would cut my losses. The man is not supportive or loving at this point. None of us can comment as to if he was ever or how the relationship was prior to having this baby. That's something only you know deep down.

But what do you tell your baby after its born, even if you stay with this guy? Oh daddy didn't want you?

In my opinion if you are grown, live in your own place, and have a means of supporting your own child, you should be bothered with who thinks what about you. People will judge others for lots of reasons, not being married, not liking your spouse, having children on welfare etc. So as long as you can take care of your own then don't let anyone bother you, He should be the same way. Hes supposedly a grown adult man, who cares what his parents think. When he chose to become a father he chose to make you and his child his top priority, the apron strings are cut at that moment.

Please be safe, if he wont go to counseling maybe you should alone. . .
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Re: A unsupportive partner

Postby Duke27 » Tue Aug 11, 2015 12:39 pm

Thanks everyone.

We live together and we both have stable ok paid jobs. We're not rich by any means but could support our baby ans would have love and support from my family. His family are very old fashioned and I'm seeing now that he is very immature ansd almost seems scared of his father and what he will say. I'm just so stuck here. There is no way I'm aborting my baby and om disgusted that he booked me that appointment. I just don't understand how someone cab change this quickly and how someone could care for me then act like this? :-(
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