Huge argument massive stress scared I'm harmed my baby

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Huge argument massive stress scared I'm harmed my baby

Postby Duke27 » Thu Aug 20, 2015 9:45 am

Hey ladies, says it in the title really. Me and oh had a absolutely huge argument earlier today and it resulted in me screaming crying and a panic attack. Completely freaking out that my baby has been harmed aswell. At one point I got so stressed out I had to remove sone clothes as I got so hot and I bent down and literally felt like I crushed my little one :-( how likely is it that baby could have been harmed by this stress?
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Re: Huge argument massive stress scared I'm harmed my baby

Postby FrostedFuji » Thu Aug 20, 2015 9:59 am

Not likely at all.

When you hear about stress being bad for a fetus, the source is referring to chronic stress - high stress levels over a long period of time (several weeks to months). The reason stress is bad is because your body releases the hormone cortisol when you are stressed out, and over long periods of time cortisol can harm the brain. Realistically, cortisol is neurotoxic to all brains, adults included, fetuses are just more susceptible as they're developing - but it does still need to be high levels of stress/cortisol over an extended period of time. These levels of stress are usually seen in women who work very high-demand jobs and long hours (such as lawyers, ER doctors & nurses), women in abusive relationships, or women who live in active war zones.

ONE panic attack is also not likely to harm the fetus, though several may not be good for it. If you're prone to panic attacks or if you have a second one, talk to your doctor about it.

Finally, baby is totally safe inside you. The thick lining of your uterus and the amniotic fluid will protect him/her from almost everything. Bending over will not cause harm at all.
Fuji: 28; H: 29

Our first baby!
Willow Del, born at 37,5 on 12/8/15
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Re: Huge argument massive stress scared I'm harmed my baby

Postby Artemis » Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:05 am

Like Fuji mentioned, the baby is not likely to be in harm over one stressful event, it's chronic stress that will have an impact.

That also said, based on all your posts (I've been a concerned follower of yours!) it truly sounds like the relationship you have between you and your SO is not healthy. I hope you considered all the advice the girls on here have given you regarding on how to handle the situation. If things are truly as bad as you keep saying, I think it's time for you to make s choice about what's best for you and your baby. Stay with a man who clearly does not support the pregnancy and has no regards to your well being and stay miserable (have chronic stress that can have that possibility of effecting the baby) OR make a difficult but self loving choice to leave him and surround yourself with people and family members who love and care for you and baby. Based on what you've been posting, if it were me.. I would have been gone the second my spouse even thought that word "abortion".

You and baby deserve better!
Me: 27 DH: 26
Married Dec '13

OUR FIRST BABY

BFP April '15
EDD: New Years Eve

WATER BROKE 12/1/15 @35+5 weeks. Trip was born via emergency c section after 12 hours of induced labor.

Born 12/1/15 at 7:45pm.
5lbs 13oz and 21 inches.
No NICU time. We are blessed!
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Re: Huge argument massive stress scared I'm harmed my baby

Postby SaSears » Fri Aug 21, 2015 10:23 pm

I'm with Artemis.

I've been in emotionally abusive relationships that sound awfully similar to yours. Thankfully I never got pregnant. But as far as the relationship goes I know how hard it is. Because you love them SO MUCH. And they tell you they're sorry and that they'll be better. But you know what I've learned? People don't change. And what you allow and are willing to forgive, they WILL continue to do.

I get that you're scared that you'll miscarry and then end up all alone, without him and without a baby. But you know what? This is who he truly is. Baby or no baby he will continue to act the way he is acting. And NO ONE deserves to be treated like that. It is not normal, and it is not okay.

You need to think about your baby AND yourself. Do you think it's really possible for your relationship to recover from this? Or is one of you always going to resent the other? Worry about you, and your baby. I love the term self loving that Artemis used! Such a good description. Walk away, girl. Its hard and it's scary... But sometimes what's hardest and what's right are exactly the same.
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Re: Huge argument massive stress scared I'm harmed my baby

Postby aboulanger » Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:38 am

SaSears hit the nail on the head when she said "This is who he truly is".

Not sure if you think he will change his mind and want the baby at some point (either before or after birth) but the crap you are getting from him now is who he really is. If he doesn't want/like something, this is the "man" you get.

I would leave.
#2 due 8/2017

DS- Colin Born 2/2016

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Re: Huge argument massive stress scared I'm harmed my baby

Postby Duke27 » Wed Aug 26, 2015 12:11 am

Thank you ladies for all your help and support you've really opened my eyes x
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