Emotions on Overdrive

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Emotions on Overdrive

Postby reapage » Wed Oct 07, 2015 6:42 am

Is anyone else feeling like they are just an emotional mess? Who is this crying, sad monster that I have become?

Blah.

I have always been very independent and confident.... I feel like I can barely get through the day at work with a smile, all I want to do is go home and cuddle with dh, which is proving hard because he works long hours...I have never particularly liked his hours, but I have always been understanding... these days when he tells me he is working late I just cry.

I love my pregnant belly more than life itself, and feeling kicks and rolls from both babies, but I'm so self conscious, and I dont even want to see myself naked, let alone let him see me.

I am also having a hard time not being as able as I once was. I can't lift anything, my feet are swollen so it hurts to walk around too much, it's hard to even put my own socks on... I am 22 weeks but I look like I am upwards of 32 weeks. I am just not used to asking for help so often, and I am always the first one to jump right into a project or to clean up, but lately getting through a full day at work is all I have in me... I feel like I'm just coasting at work, and by the time I get home, I'm lonely and useless.

The logical part of my brain is telling me that it's the hormones & changes, but I feel like a stranger in my own skin these days.
Me:23 PCOS DH:32 MFI
TTC Since Sept 13'
IVF#1 01/15= Chemical
IVF#2 02/15= BFN
IVF#3 03/15= BFP!!

Beta#1 638
Beta#2 1979
Beta#3 4029

FIRST U/S @6W2D SHOWS TWINS!!!!
Baby A :hb: 128
Baby B :hb: 112
SECOND U/S @7W2D TWINS ARE PERFECT!
Baby A :hb: 166
Baby B :hb: 151

ITS A BOY AND A GIRL! :babyb: :babyg: :balloons:

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Re: Emotions on Overdrive

Postby agonize » Wed Oct 07, 2015 7:46 pm

Oh man, I totally know what you are talking about.

Last night, I got mad at my DH. I was bawling my eyes out and yelling at him. I think midway through the emotional outrage, the logical part of me was even confused by why I was so mad / sad. It was like there was this negative emotion inside me and I just felt so angry! All I wanted to do was yell, yell and yell. Ughh.
Me--Sophia: 30, DH: 32
July 2015: chemical pregnancy
Sept 2015: BFP @ DPO 12;
EDD: 6/3/16
11w4d: :hb: 165 (doppler)
12w5d: :hb: 156 (ultrasound)
15w6d: :hb: 140 (doppler)
20w5d: :hb: 149 (ultrasound) It's a BOY!
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Re: Emotions on Overdrive

Postby FrostedFuji » Wed Oct 07, 2015 8:13 pm

I burst into tears yesterday when DH suggested I rewind the TV program I was watching about 5 minutes because I was distracted and missed an important plot revelation.

You are not alone. You're not even in the minority. The hormones flowing through us are crazy - even though they peak early on and decline slowly, heightened progesterone is still associated with depression symptoms, as is lower estrogen, two lovely parts of being pregnant. Even if you're not feeling depressed, it can still get to you in the form of both physical and mental fatigue, feeling "blah," etc. It just downright sucks sometimes, and that's okay.

There is NOTHING wrong with just coasting at work if it's what you need to do for a bit. Nor is there anything wrong with not being the go-getter you're used to being. I did the dishes today - that's literally the only productive thing I had in me, since I was also dealing with pelvic and back pain which both hurt and sucked up my energy.

It can, does, and WILL get better. Maybe not now, and sadly maybe not until after your beautiful little babes are born. But it will come, I promise :)
Fuji: 28; H: 29

Our first baby!
Willow Del, born at 37,5 on 12/8/15
5 lb, 7.5 oz; 18.25" long
Former code name Little Jedi

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Re: Emotions on Overdrive

Postby reapage » Thu Oct 08, 2015 6:39 am

Thank you both for responding! Its crazy, because today I feel the complete opposite. I feel happy and Like I could go for days. It's the hormones, they just make me crazy. it is so nice to know that I'm not the only one completely breaking down at times lol.

Pregnancy is amazing.. but its hard work! I guess through three IVF cycles I always assumed that once we finally fell pregnant, the world would be a happy place, and on most days it is, but we also have our days when just getting out of bed is a monumental task.

Sometimes I feel sad/mad or lonely and I cant identify why... the progesterone and estrogen makes so much sense.

Thank you both.

I cant imagine what post partum is going to be like!
Me:23 PCOS DH:32 MFI
TTC Since Sept 13'
IVF#1 01/15= Chemical
IVF#2 02/15= BFN
IVF#3 03/15= BFP!!

Beta#1 638
Beta#2 1979
Beta#3 4029

FIRST U/S @6W2D SHOWS TWINS!!!!
Baby A :hb: 128
Baby B :hb: 112
SECOND U/S @7W2D TWINS ARE PERFECT!
Baby A :hb: 166
Baby B :hb: 151

ITS A BOY AND A GIRL! :babyb: :babyg: :balloons:

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Re: Emotions on Overdrive

Postby HighlandGamesGirlCO » Thu Oct 08, 2015 8:38 am

You are not alone!! I have days when I look in the mirror and think heeey lookin good mama! and other days when I look in the mirror and all I can see is stretch marks and a target for a harpoon. I used to be very active and go go go morning to night, and now I actually feel bad when I am tired - logically I know I need to rest, but it's so hard to actually do it! Just doing laundry wears me out. I feel guilty because DH has taken so much responsibility from me as far as housework and hasn't complained once. I also have incredibly swollen feet, so the weird walking because of that, plus the pregnancy waddle - I mean I still have 11 weeks to go and I'm wondering how I am going to manage! :lol:

I know it will get better, and I am trying to just take one day at a time...hang in there! :hugs:
Me (Lindsey) - 38
DH/love of my life - 44

"We are all atheists regarding most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further." - Richard Dawkins

Fiona Jayne born 12/21/2015 - our solstice baby! 7lb 5.5oz 19.75"

It's a BOY! EDD Feb 16, 2017
Repeat c-section scheduled, Ciaran Reeves will arrive Feb 13, 2017!

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