urgh baby name UPDATE

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Should I use the name?

Screw her use it !!!!!!
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97%
Change it to make her happy!!!!
2
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Total votes : 58

Postby Leeza717 » Sun Jan 11, 2009 11:36 pm

ok I could see maybeee if she was pregnant....but she's not even in a relationship. so I say use it. I love the same Mason...before I knew what I was having, Mason was my top boys name...but DP vetoed it :roll:
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Postby littletoe » Mon Jan 12, 2009 7:12 am

I voted to 'screw her and use it' and then read the rest of the thread. I felt bad initially because I thought that it could really affect a close friendship and really put a dampener on her excitement of your LO. But...

1) As you said, you've not spoken about baby names in years!
2) She's not TTC'ing or even in a relationship
3) If that's the name you and your DH have decided on, then go for it. It's your childs life. You'll always regret not calling him Mason if you don't do it.
4) There's nothing stopping her from using the name for hers and maybe that's how you sell it to her - as ppl said the kids would be chuffed they have the same name. But it doesn't sound like there is going to be any announcements from her side soon.

I think that this reaction maybe stemming from some deep down jealously from her that you're sorted in life, have a lovely DH, maybe a home of your own and a baby on the way. From what you've written it sounds like she has none of that and unfortunately has not got her health either. Maybe you're living her dreams.

I was worried a few weeks ago that there were 4 of us in our group of friends that are expecting. Jessica (one of my favourite names) went in October, George was born early in December and then it leaves me and another friend who are due within a week of each other. I'm a little worried that she has a baby with the same name before me, but we're decided on our names and I think that even if they have the same before us, we'll continue to call ours what we want. We have loved these names for ages and they have a lot of family meaning. We're fortunate that we're not that close (not best mates) so it wouldn't be too much of a problem.

Sorry you have this problem. Choosing a name should be a really exciting thing to do and this is really putting a damp squib on it for you. xx
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Postby jillylama » Mon Jan 12, 2009 8:45 am

i think names are first come first serve. the only thing you should consider is if you would be bothered if she used the name after you had.

i really don't understand the fuss over naming. i think using someone else's name is a huge compliment. i know i am in the minority, you should watch out for yourself on this one though. especially as she isn't in a relationship.
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Postby ivycrystals » Mon Jan 12, 2009 8:47 am

I voted for Screw her use the name. I think since it's a family name and you and DH love it then you should use it.
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Postby Katie23 » Mon Jan 12, 2009 9:10 am

You are pregnant first so its your choice... First come first serve! LOL
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Postby andrysgirl » Mon Jan 12, 2009 9:21 am

The way I feel about these things is that whoever is actually pregnant is the one with dibs. In your case, you didn't even know until now, why should you have to change it? Especially if its a family name. I know people have certain names that they love, but what happens if she decides to change her mind? Or if she only has girls?

In the end, I know everyone wants their child to have a unique name, but the fact is that unless you go way out there, someone will probably have your child's name. When I was growing up, my BF and I had the exact same first and middle names. We thought it was very cool, and it created no confusion because she always preferred to go by her middle name, whereas I was always called by my first name!

Finally, DH and I have very opposing thoughts on names, so I know the headaches that can go into finding one that suits both of you. So I vote, use the name, tell her, I'm sorry if you are hurt, but this is the name we chose and I'm not going to change it.

Sorry but baby names don't belong to people. That's the way I feel about it.

Jillymama, I agree with you, I'd think it was cool if people wanted to use the name I chose.

I had a friend choose both of the names I liked for her daughters...I thought, well, I can always use as middle names or whatever, I really don't care. Well I have a boy, and this one looks to be a boy too, so I may not even get the chance! I'm so glad she went ahead and used the names, even if they were my idea!
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Postby Chrisandkarene » Mon Jan 12, 2009 9:46 am

Thanks girls. You are right she is jealous of me. I finished school even got my Masters. I am happily married (most of the time) and I own my own house and 2 businesses. All of our friends have gone on with our lives and she is stuck in HS ages. She expects everyone to still want to party and drink. She expects us to have lots of girls nights out. She doesn't understand that I love my husband and love spending time with him. I am happy to have a shopping spree during the day or what ever but I am not a drinker (esp now).

She says she wants to use Mason for a boy or a girl. But with her Seizures I'm not sure she will ever be able to have kids of her own.

As for the name I am going to keep looking and see if something else fits better than Mason. We might just use Mason as a middle name. I guess I have a gender scan and then 5 more months to make a decision on a name. Maybe it will be a girl and I won't have to worry about it anymore. (For this pregnancy at least)

Thanks again girls.
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Postby littletoe » Mon Jan 12, 2009 10:12 am

I just read your footer. You've been through a lot to conceive this baby, probably more than she'll ever know. If it is a boy, I think that you if you want to call him Mason, you have to go with it. If she's not grown up enough to love your baby 'with her chosen name', then she's probably not the person you want around your baby anyway. She should be flattered that you both have the same good taste.

Don't compromise and use Mason as a middle name just to please her. I think you'll only regret it, especially if you have less and less contact with her as years go by. If you feel that strongly about the name when he (if it's a he!) arrives, then it's meant to be.

Good luck!
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Postby Chrisandkarene » Mon Jan 12, 2009 10:23 am

littletoe wrote:I just read your footer. You've been through a lot to conceive this baby, probably more than she'll ever know. If it is a boy, I think that you if you want to call him Mason, you have to go with it. If she's not grown up enough to love your baby 'with her chosen name', then she's probably not the person you want around your baby anyway. She should be flattered that you both have the same good taste.

Don't compromise and use Mason as a middle name just to please her. I think you'll only regret it, especially if you have less and less contact with her as years go by. If you feel that strongly about the name when he (if it's a he!) arrives, then it's meant to be.

Good luck!


Thank you so much. Hubby has agreed to look at the baby name book after we have a confirmed Gender. I like alot of differnt names and so does he but Mason is the only one we have liked at the same time.
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Postby S45890223 » Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:20 pm

Even if she did mention it a LONG time ago, who cares. She may never have a son, or kids. That's just reality. I'd use the name.
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Postby countrymomma » Mon Jan 12, 2009 8:32 pm

Okay so I did have a name that I loved and made sure that my BIL knew it so that he wouldnt use it (the only one with the same last name). The name was Christian and we had picked it for Marissa (if a boy) and wanted to keep it till we got a boy. I would have been very upset if BIL would have used it. He didnt want it so that was good.

That said, this is nothing like that. You cant ask someone the name they want to use and THEN say no you can have it. If you knew all along she really loved this name and she talked about it more then once in 9th grade then maybe it would be different. She's being selfish IMO. And, heck, if she really wants to use it in 10 years when she finally has kids then okay let her.

I vote its YOUR name not hers ;) Oh and BTW. LOVE it!!
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Postby Loreneprego5 » Sat Jan 17, 2009 2:17 pm

I don't want to say to tell her to screw it but I did vote that. she can name her son that too. it isnt' a big deal and there are many masons out there and you are not related to her :wink:
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Postby melissav79 » Sat Jan 17, 2009 2:51 pm

In most cases (yours included) I would say use the name you want. However, this "name" issue has caused a huge rift between my BIL and us (well there are other things too but this was the straw that broke the camels back for us)

We told them that we were going to use Gabriel or some version of it when we have kids b/c that is DH's middle name. Well, you guess it, she was already preggo and suddenly decided that was the name they were going to use. We begged them not to and they did anyway, so needless to say the baby naming stuff can cause on enhance problems. Just a warning. Good luck to you!
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Postby Chrisandkarene » Sat Jan 17, 2009 7:44 pm

well Hubby and I have been talking abd have almost decided to change our name choice. Its because of her reaction and the fact that my cousin is naming her son Kason and he is due in Feb. That is just to close for comfort for me. Even though my cousin said it would be okay if I used it but I think I would be kind of upset if it was reversed.

Current name: was Mason _____ currently we are talking about Travis Mason.
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Postby Chrisandkarene » Sat Jan 17, 2009 8:55 pm

OMG I thought changing the name from Mason to something and mason being the middle name was a great compromise. My friend posts this on myspace
She also thinks a certain friend knows how she truly feels, so why even bother asking?


so I responded with this (maybe a bit childish but she pissed me off)
some friends do not really care about things. Family hertiage is more important than likes. I tried to compromise now she can basically kiss my ass.
I don't know what this babies name will be but I will tell her Mason just to piss her off. I know this is juvenile but I am ready to just sever (Sp) all ties with her.
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