Small Rant

The affectionately named "honeymoon trimester". Your belly is getting bigger and you start to feel your first baby kicks. Are you having a boy or a girl?

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Small Rant

Postby MommaR » Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:01 pm

Please allow me to just quickly rant. :)

DH and I just realized that ALL of my good friends are stay at home moms. ALL of them! I never even realized this. So they aren't in the same place I am as far as what I have to deal with during any given day. I'm not saying stay at home moms do nothing or anything like that.. my mom was one (and if I had the choice I would be one). I'm just saying I have a lot of stresses they don't have. Both are different with their own stresses I get that. I just have nobody that can relate with me. Does that make sense?

They don't realize that I have to get up early to get myself and both kids ready WHILE PREGNANT and then drive to three different places in the morning. Along with feeding breakfast, packing lunches, getting them dressed etc just so we can get out the door. Then I proceed to work full time where I have bosses watching me all darn day and you have to feel like you might get in trouble because you have had to pee 409237409673 times that day. It's stressful here and you have to be on your toes all the time (law office). Then I need to figure out who in the heck is getting what kid that day. Then figure out dinner because i haven't been home all darn day, prepare that and clean that up and you are looking at about 6-6:30pm already. Then you have to worry about your kids getting baths and trying to spend some sort of time with them... like reading to them or watching a movie with them. The a strict bed time where you then pick out all outfits for the next day, makes lunches and all of that again, take a shower, blow dry hair ... dodge around the huge mess made from the day that you haven't had time to clean up... and maybe get to sit down for 30 minutes to watch a show and unwind.

Then on top of the daily grind you deal with everything school related. Deal with all bills. Make the grocery list and do the shopping. Attempt to get organized in every way possible but fail every time. Deal with gifts when that comes around (for holidays, birthdays you name it). Do all the cleaning...especially time consuming laundry that you only have time to do on the weekends which takes forever... and folding and putting that away... etc. I mean my goodness.

My sister in law for instance is a stay at home mom... and literally her house is GROSS. Never clean... we're talking 3 animals leaving hair all over in clumps on the floor, DH took a photo of her stove because it was so terrible. Must have been at least a year since the top of that thing has been clean. Bathroom never clean. TMI I know but I went there one time and had to use the bathroom (she has one bathroom) and the trash was so overflowing with unwrapped tampons with blood all over the top of the trash can. REALLY? She has ONE child. My niece is 1.5 now. She also has a small house. Literally every 5 minutes all day long she shares something on facebook... stupid stuff... or she is sharing what level she completed in candy crush. I had to make her an acquaintance because I was sick of my phone going off all day.

And then she decides to tell me how hard she has it. She just found out she is pregnant with #2 (and no all of the above isnt' because she's pregnant.. we're talking it's been 100% that way for the past 6 years) and nobody could possibly be as tired as her. Or have as much to do as her.

I just want to punch something.

Okay rant over. Thanks for listening and dealing with my bs :) lol
Me: 30
DH: 28
DS 1: 5
DS 2: 3
Angel Baby: August 31, 2013 (6 weeks)
BFP: October 22, 2013 EDD July 8, 2014!
Beta: 49.2 (12 dpo)
Beta: 143 (14 dpo)
Ultrasound November 11, 2013 - Saw baby and heartbeat (122)!
Ultrasound at 8 weeks 6 days heartbeat was 164!
H.b. at 13 weeks was 148!
Elective Ultrasound 16.2 weeks - IT'S A GIRL!!!
Ultrasound 18.6 weeks - STILL a girl!!!
Ultrasound 20 weeks - S.T.I.L.L. a girl!!! :)
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Re: Small Rant

Postby mexicanchick718 » Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:46 pm

Holly cow. I have to take my hat off to you girl. Thats really gross about her house. I have two dogs and i clean so much dh thinks im.mad but i find hair BEYONG gross.
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BFP#1 5/28/2013
:angel: @ 9 wks on 7/11/2013
BFP#2 9/23/2013

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Re: Small Rant

Postby MommaR » Thu Jan 16, 2014 4:08 pm

Her daughter and everything she has is COVERED in hair. Including her car. Ick! Im too allergic so I cant go over there or ride in her car.

Sorry for the rant. Im just sick of people complaining when I know they dont do much. Ugh
Me: 30
DH: 28
DS 1: 5
DS 2: 3
Angel Baby: August 31, 2013 (6 weeks)
BFP: October 22, 2013 EDD July 8, 2014!
Beta: 49.2 (12 dpo)
Beta: 143 (14 dpo)
Ultrasound November 11, 2013 - Saw baby and heartbeat (122)!
Ultrasound at 8 weeks 6 days heartbeat was 164!
H.b. at 13 weeks was 148!
Elective Ultrasound 16.2 weeks - IT'S A GIRL!!!
Ultrasound 18.6 weeks - STILL a girl!!!
Ultrasound 20 weeks - S.T.I.L.L. a girl!!! :)
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Re: Small Rant

Postby armywife1980 » Thu Jan 16, 2014 4:58 pm

There is no excuse for filth. I have been a SAHM the past 2 yrs. Prior to that, I was gone around 50 hours a week and had 3 kids then done the pregnancy things while working. My house was NEVER like that when I worked, even when my husband wasn't around to help out. I actually find being a SAHM more stressful than being a working mother though.
Brandie (33) DH (32) Twin Boys (15) DD#1 (11) DD#2 (1yr)
Alyssa Marie 7/20/12 @ 7lb 11oz & 21in long
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Re: Small Rant

Postby MommaR » Thu Jan 16, 2014 5:15 pm

And I know when I was home even for a week with them its way different. You dont get to get away. There are pros and cons for both. I miss my kids like crazy but dont have an option to stay home. And hate having a "boss" that is constantly watching. So yeah staying home is very tough! Not at all dissing it. I just...I dont get home someone can be that gross ... do nothing with themselves (never has never will) ...and let it be that messy! I go nuts if theres a mess but hey what can ya do? I just do my best to clean every night so things stay somewhat clean. And im not talking about clutter here...people get busy and with kids clutter happens. Im talking sahm that in two months hasnt washed the toilet or sink type of deal.

She comes here and says things like "oh...I see you haven't gotten to your laundry". What?! No I sure haven't but my floors, counters, bathrooms are clean!
Me: 30
DH: 28
DS 1: 5
DS 2: 3
Angel Baby: August 31, 2013 (6 weeks)
BFP: October 22, 2013 EDD July 8, 2014!
Beta: 49.2 (12 dpo)
Beta: 143 (14 dpo)
Ultrasound November 11, 2013 - Saw baby and heartbeat (122)!
Ultrasound at 8 weeks 6 days heartbeat was 164!
H.b. at 13 weeks was 148!
Elective Ultrasound 16.2 weeks - IT'S A GIRL!!!
Ultrasound 18.6 weeks - STILL a girl!!!
Ultrasound 20 weeks - S.T.I.L.L. a girl!!! :)
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Re: Small Rant

Postby myrightpinky » Fri Jan 17, 2014 12:50 pm

Ugh, gross. That kind of filth is not ok, but I will say as someone who works FT with 2 kids but has been a SAHM during each of my full-year mat leaves, that my house was waaaay harder to keep clean when I was a SAHM. I guess because we were all home so much and making it dirty, whereas when I am working we are all out of the house during the day. I never found that I could clean when the kids were around - they were just too needy or making other messes, and having them "help" was just not helpful. So I cleaned after they went to bed, same as when I am working.

In terms of not relating, I totally get you on that. My SAHM friends and I barely see each other because our lives are just soooo different. I guess we'll reconnect when this mat leave comes along :)
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Re: Small Rant

Postby MommaR » Fri Jan 17, 2014 1:26 pm

And I get so jealous all the time because it would be great to see the kids more! She's always posting that she's out for a walk at the park... or this or that. And I'm all dang.. I'm stuck at work with no option of leaving lol That and there is a small park across from my work and all summer long there are people there with their kids playing. You can see it when you look out of the window by the sinks in the bathroom. So every time I go in there and wash my hands I'm like dang... I wish I was hanging out with the kids at a park :(

I don't understand how people keep their houses clean. I don't get it. I try very hard and work at it every night. We get home late and put the kids to be at 7:30... but let me tell ya in that time apparently they just do wonders on it. I'll be in the kitchen doing dishes (first floor) and they will be in the living room (second floor) and i'll go up there around bed time and it's a disaster. Then i'll try and clean that and DH makes a mess in the kitchen lol. Then I go up to our room to get stuff ready (3rd floor) and that is a mess because DH made it that way after his shower so I get all distracted and try to pick that up a bit... then go back to the living room and DH is sitting there with his snacks all over lol. Just can't win!

Actually it looks like it might be DH that's the problem lol
Me: 30
DH: 28
DS 1: 5
DS 2: 3
Angel Baby: August 31, 2013 (6 weeks)
BFP: October 22, 2013 EDD July 8, 2014!
Beta: 49.2 (12 dpo)
Beta: 143 (14 dpo)
Ultrasound November 11, 2013 - Saw baby and heartbeat (122)!
Ultrasound at 8 weeks 6 days heartbeat was 164!
H.b. at 13 weeks was 148!
Elective Ultrasound 16.2 weeks - IT'S A GIRL!!!
Ultrasound 18.6 weeks - STILL a girl!!!
Ultrasound 20 weeks - S.T.I.L.L. a girl!!! :)
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Re: Small Rant

Postby JennMarie » Fri Jan 17, 2014 2:03 pm

I feel for you. I am currently a SAHM and I feel very thankful for the opportunity. It is a very hard job, but honestly I don't know how I would do it all if I had to work outside the house too! I think moms that have to work have things doubly tough, so I can understand that you feel frustrated when you hear SAHM complain. That being said, your SIL with the dirty house means that she doesn't do what most SAHM do! I have a sister who is the exact same way... probably worse. She lets her animals poo all over on the carpets and then doesn't even pick it up. And neither her or her husband have worked in years! It's so disgusting that I had to stand over their toilet to use it because it was covered in feces (back when they had a place to live). They had 3 kids, but they were all almost teenagers and could clean up after themselves. She never made them though so in turn there are now 5 slobs in the family. So gross! When she complains about how much work it is to be a mom, I just want to reach through the phone and slap her. Moms have naturally messy houses, you really can't get away from that. But a filthy disgusting and unhealthy house is quite another issue. Ugh... now I'm in the mood to go clean something!!
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Re: Small Rant

Postby armywife1980 » Fri Jan 17, 2014 6:22 pm

I have to agree that people who live like that definitely aren't doing the SAHM thing the way it's supposed to be. Any given day my downstairs is strewn with toys. Of course the toybox, play kitchen, shopping cart with groceries and princess tent is down here. It's not practical to keep toys for toddlers tucked away in their rooms. I could care less about that. I pick them up at nap time (if she'll take one) and after she's gone to bed. I can't stand a dirty floor, counter or sink! When I was working I was up until midnight most nights cleaning and doing laundry etc and then back up at 5 a.m. It was exhausting. I find being a working mom more exhausting and being a SAHM more stressful if that makes any sense. I do not miss having all the schlepping in the morning etc to make it across the city before 7a.m. to get to work and then not getting home until 6p.m. I hated missing out on things for my kids. I don't envy a working mother anything other than the extra income lol. I feel very lucky to be a SAHM and for me keeping a clean home is one way of showing my spouse how much I appreciate him bearing the financial burden of the family alone. I wonder how the spouses feel about the way the homes are taken care of? I have some back issues as well but still manage to do what needs to be done. My home is not immaculate, but it's clean. How do you raise children in such a dirty environment and not feel ashamed? I know everyone has different situations but come on. Even when I wasn't being medicated and my depression was horrible I still managed to load the dishwasher and vacuum. I honestly put in only 2-3 hours a day cleaning in spurts to maintain a 2 story home with a family of 6. Looks great on the surface. Just don't open the closets :wink:
Brandie (33) DH (32) Twin Boys (15) DD#1 (11) DD#2 (1yr)
Alyssa Marie 7/20/12 @ 7lb 11oz & 21in long
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Re: Small Rant

Postby litmajor » Thu Jan 23, 2014 4:22 pm

I agree with being home all day giving us a chance to make more messes, lol. However, yes, there should be time spent house keeping. You can keep a decently clean home just with one hour a day (although it is like a car- maintaining is easier than when it's totally "broken"). My house isn't immaculate either, but it's still reasonably clean. My DD is 16 months, and I'm pregnant. I find cleaning during her nap to be easiest.

As for your SIL- her poor baby :( I can't imagine raising a small child in that kind of filth. One of the wives in my DH's old unit had a similarly filthy house, bags of trash sitting in the kitchen, flies and maggots about... And a 5 year old and a baby to get into all of it. She had CPS called on her a time or two, but always was able to find out ahead of time and straighten enough for them to leave her alone. It would go straight back to filth after.
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Re: Small Rant

Postby jacslove » Fri Jan 24, 2014 4:30 pm

Well I'm feeling much better about myself after reading some of these comments. Maggots? Poop on the carpet? I have my issues but I could never live in that kind of filth. Yes sometimes my kitchen floor stays sticky for a few days, but I manage to keep the dishes clean and the bathrooms decent and the carpet vacuumed. Even now when I am falling over tired and nauseated I have vacuumed the family room twice today and dusted some furniture and cleaned toilets (how can you not with 2 boys destroying it????). There is certainly no excuse for that! Ick.
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