baby shower for 2nd baby?

Baby is taking up all available space in your belly. Baby showers and buying things for the nursery are on your mind. Childbirth classes, baby will be here before you know it!

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Postby Heather32 » Mon Jun 06, 2011 5:01 pm

pinkbabydust wrote:I am having a second shower. I already have a daughter and this one is a girl too. However, I think my situation is a little different. DD1 is almost 12 years old already so there is no way that I'd have things things I need still. Besides that, this baby is to a different family who really urged me to have a shower because it's the first child between me and my boyfriend. Also, I've never heard of having a second shower as tacky. Only online have I read people say that, but in real life, I've never actually heard anyone think that there is anything wrong with it.


In general your friends and family will not tell you something is in poor taste because they want to protect your feelings. Online what your reading is mostly people's honest feelings because there is not need to censor our opinions in order to protect feelings. My SIL just had a baby shower and baby with a boy she met 2 weeks before she became pregnant.. The whole family talked about how tacky it was for mil to throw her a shower at all but in the end people came in order to support mil but to her face would say how lovely it was but it was not such a good idea when discussed privately... Most people IRL will tell you what you want to hear....
Heather:33 DH:36 DS (6) 11/04 DS (2) 2/09
DD (Brand New!) 8/7/11 8pds 4oz 19 1/2in.
:angel: 04/07 (14wks) Rest in peace sweet angel baby
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Postby ashleyp » Sat Jun 25, 2011 4:58 pm

^ wow, that's pretty sad.

my Mom threw me a surprise shower for this one, same gender, 2.5 years apart. i had no idea, until the weekend before when my DH blurted it out accidentally. i was worried people would think it was silly, but it was a really good time and it was so nice to see my close friends and family one last time before baby's arrival.
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Postby kb0420 » Thu Jun 30, 2011 8:09 am

Sure is sad I agree Ashley... I've never even heard anyone talk about others 2+ showers. I've only had one shower but only decided not to have one for this baby (which my sister planned totally w/out me involved) because I personally want to get my baby here safely before celebrating. We will definitely have something after he arrives.
I'm not sure what type of people these are bad-mouthing someone for celebrating a new baby but it's sad. How about just not showing up if they're so against it and let those who genuinely want to be there come. Why talk behind people back, it makes no sense and seems cowardly. I'm just glad I don't have a circle of friends or family like that. I've been to plenty 2+ showers and have never thought twice about it nor heard anyone talking negatively.
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Postby luvin » Sat Jul 09, 2011 7:17 am

I'm sorry, IMO, I think it's a heck of a lot tackier to talk about people behind thier backs than to have a second baby shower. THAT is distasteful if you ask me.

My friend wants to throw me a baby shower with this one. I'm going to ask her to throw a naming party instead, where the invites say specifically that we are just celebrating the baby with food and fun, and the only obligation is that you show up ready to party and bring a name written down.
It's a girl!!
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Postby july » Sat Jul 30, 2011 5:53 am

I also do not want to have one for the second for me its ok to have a 2nd shower if

a) baby is different sex
b) you move and meet all new friends
c) your babies are about 4 to 5 years apart or more.
ME: 26 :hb: DH: 29 :hb: DS1: 39M :hb: DS2: 11M :hb: DD: Newborn
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Postby Lizc0002 » Wed Aug 10, 2011 10:48 am

Here's my issue, with a first baby you need a lot of things but with a 2nd you usually have most of the big items. I think every baby deserves to be welcomed and I buy a baby gift for every friend or family member that has a baby, but the problem with a shower for 2nd or more babies is that you end up buying a shower gift and a baby gift, it just seems like overkill on the gift buying to me....
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Postby Emmo » Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:48 pm

Yikes, I agree with the past several posts... I might feel uncomfortable having a shower for my second (although my friend keeps offering) But I've never talked about someone behind their backs for having one! I've gone to a few showers for 2nd children and thought they were fun! Geeze sounds like a snobby bunch :(
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Postby byebeautiful » Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:08 am

I did not have a baby shower with my 2nd and will not with my 3rd (this baby). They're all boys, lol. If i would have had a girl with my 2nd or 3rd i would have had a shower. :)
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Postby TXlonghorn » Wed Aug 17, 2011 10:48 pm

Didn't read this whole thread, so all apologies if this is a repeat.

I had two of the same gender, so for DS2 I just went to lunch with some close girl friends and family and then went and got a pedicure. It was heavenly. :)
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Postby Emmo » Thu Sep 08, 2011 3:39 pm

I've had 3 friends ask if I'm going to have a shower and offer to throw it. I told them they could do some kind of small brunch at a restaurant or something. and Im basically going to only invite the people who keep asking me if Im going to have one lol... a few close friends and family. Probably 7 or 8 people.
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Postby StefStaf » Sun Sep 11, 2011 5:57 am

when i got pregnant with #2, i totally expected to NOT have a shower because of the tradition that i have been raised with of not having a shower for number 2, 3 etc.. My mom and my aunt both said to me that i would not be getting a shower, and that was fine because i didn't expect one anyway. a few weeks ago, a dear friend of mine (who did have a shower thrown for her by her sisters for her second baby) offered to throw me a shower. I was really surprised. I accepted but it will be a SMALL affair. I don't have any family close to me (my parents are 1000 miles away, inlaws 3000 miles away in England and brother 3000 miles away in CA). I don't have sisters and I don't have a lot of close friends here. I might be able to get her a guest list of 13 people and out of that i can see about 6 coming. DS will be 5 when this baby is born. Fortunately, i did keep everything of his so i don't need a lot of things. I don't know the sex yet but if it's a girl, i would need clothes. I don't see anything wrong with having a shower for #2 but i do think that it should be a smaller affair than a first baby shower would be. It's nice to celebrate and i think baby showers are so much fun. I don't think that anyone should judge anyone for having a second shower either. :)
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Postby GalSal04 » Fri Oct 21, 2011 8:32 am

Who cares who thinks it's tacky or *gasp* against proper etiquette? If you want to have a shower for every baby, that is your preference and nobody has the right to judge or ridicule. I agree with the other post that stated its more tacky to talk about a "loved" one behind their back rather than have a baby shower for the child they are expecting. If you think its tacky, dont bring a gift! Most people dont want gifts, they just want their family and friends together to play games and eat; gifts are just a bonus. Saying that you shouldn't have more than one baby shower is like saying you wont celebrate more than one birthday....I mean, inviting people to a kids birthday party is also asking people to come together and celebrate and gifts are virtually always involved. There are far more important things in life to fret over than some woman who wants a baby shower. Some people need to get over themselves.
ME( 31 ) DH( 28 ) Angel 1:11/07 Angel 2:07/09, DS Born May 27, 2010 7lbs15oz 20.1in, New baby due 8-3-2013
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Postby Shannon88 » Fri Oct 21, 2011 6:21 pm

My opinion and experience is a little different. With my 2nd, a girl (1st was a boy) I had 3 different friends offer to throw me a baby shower. Because we were expecting our daughter to have DS, I declined. I am so very happy that I did. Not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but she was born asleep. It was hard enough to look at her nursery without having to worry about returning all sorts of shower gifts.

This time around, we haven't told anyone and we plan to have a big "Welcome to the World" party in conjunction with her Baptism. I think it's a very personal choice. Another thing to consider is that I really wanted to pick out everything myself. With my 1st, I had 2 showers and got a bunch of stuff that I never needed/used/wanted. This time, I just want people to celebrate her life and I could care less about gifts.
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