Sleep Training????

Fourth you ask? Your body is still full of pregnancy hormones as you adjust to life sleep-deprived with your new baby outside your womb.

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Postby LemonJelly » Fri Jan 01, 2010 1:18 pm

I am wondering what the OP means by sleep training? ITA with Random et al that CIO is not for my family and should not be used on ANY newborn (by which I mean baby under 6 months).

I do believe that every baby is different and many thrive on routine, so starting to get your newborn into a routine is not NECESSARILY a bad thing, as long as it does not involve leaving them to cry, leaving them hungry or not BFing (when the mother is nursing) on demand. For us I had great plans about strict routines - before I had a baby! He soon taught me the realities, I still started a bedtime routine with bath, cuddle and feed in the early days. He didn't always go to sleep back then, but by the time he was older this naturally worked for us.

Honestly - in answer to the OQ - it depends on your baby. Some will NEED to be rocked to sleep for a long time, others will fall asleep without this comfort quite quickly. But remember that this forum is called 4th trimester for a reason - those first 3-4 months it is like your baby is still inside you - they NEED near constant contact. If they are in contact with you they will breathe to the same rhythm as you, it is another of the amazing things that helps keep them alive - reducing the risk of cot death from sleep apnoea. Why do you want her to fall asleep on her own? Are you concerned that you're spoiling her - cause you can't spoil a newborn. It sounds like you're doing just fine :)
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Postby ladybearne2 » Sat Jan 02, 2010 7:12 pm

Thanks ladies. I appreciate everyone's input.

I just don't want my baby needing me or a bottle to fall asleep. I would like her to be able to one day fall asleep on her own and sleep through the night.
Last edited by ladybearne2 on Sat Jan 02, 2010 8:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Mommy_oz » Sat Jan 02, 2010 7:34 pm

Trust me that day will come and you will be SO sad! Nolan is now 7 1/2 months old and I used to rock hma nd sleep with him all the time and I miss it SO much. Seriously, She just spent 9 months inside you of course she want her momma and this phase doesn't last long, soon she will not be able to sleep on you. Babies change so much there is no way to spoil him, or sleeping routine has changed so much to type it all out would make my hands fall off ;) Enjoy it while it last because it won't be long before she won't need you to fall asleep at all and thats a sad day (well it was for me)
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Postby Reliance » Sun Jan 03, 2010 2:20 am

With DS1 I instituted a bedtime routine from when he was about 1 month old and it worked a treat. I would swaddle him and put on soothing music (same music every night) while I gave him his bedtime feed and then put him down drowsy but not asleep. If he fell asleep I would wake him just a little as I put him down. I also started making bedtime 7pm. He pretty much slept through from when we started this.

As he got older we adjusted the routine and now the routine is bath, stories, and the same soothing music as when he was little as he goes to sleep. I think the key is to have a routine and be really consistent with it so baby knows what to expect.

With naps I would just do the swaddling. With naps I also looked for sleepy signs and timed them to the sleepy signs rather than the clock. So really baby set the routine and it shifted and evolved as baby got older. Overtired babies are harder to get to sleep.

I always responded to baby if he woke, I didn't leave him to cry, except if he did it for a couple minutes when he was put to bed (and this is just grizzling, not full on crying). I figure if was waking he probably needed a feed or at least some attention, then back to bed after the feed without any fuss (no play time at night).

I have been doing this with DS2, pretty much since he was a week old. He is a great sleeper too and hardly cries.
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Postby blue-eden » Sun Jan 03, 2010 2:39 am

ladybearne2 wrote:Thanks ladies. I appreciate everyone's input.

I just don't want my baby needing me or a bottle to fall asleep. I would like her to be able to one day fall asleep on her own and sleep through the night.


Don't worry she will! She won't rely on you forever. :) And actually by taking care of her sleep needs now, you're setting her up for life to have healthy sleep habits, not fear her crib, etc.
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Postby littlebug » Sun Jan 03, 2010 7:00 am

I agree with blue - she is not going to be rocked/patted to sleep forever! The years go by so quick :( I stressed and copped a lot of flack from my family/friends about having to rock and pat Noah to sleep every night. But now he goes to bed on his own and doesn't need me anymore.
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Postby brenjay » Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:00 am

blue-eden wrote:
ladybearne2 wrote:Thanks ladies. I appreciate everyone's input.

I just don't want my baby needing me or a bottle to fall asleep. I would like her to be able to one day fall asleep on her own and sleep through the night.


Don't worry she will! She won't rely on you forever. :) And actually by taking care of her sleep needs now, you're setting her up for life to have healthy sleep habits, not fear her crib, etc.


This is so true! This phase where they only want to sleep on you only lasts for a couple of months. Soon, your baby will not be able to sleep on you, and you'll miss it - seriously, it's kind of sad.

You cannot create "bad" sleep habits for the first four months - what random said is true, babies have no sense of object permanence, they truly live in the moment.

I agree that you can start to establish a solid bedtime routine this early, it certainly can't hurt. But for now, your baby is just too young to let them cry it out - even for 5 minutes. If your baby is upset, soothe, cuddle, kiss, and hold.

There is NOTHING wrong with holding your baby EVERY time they are upset - you are teaching security, not dependence!

Good luck, mama - this time seems so long, but take it from those of us who are shortly out of it - it is really quite short, and those long, sleepy snuggles will soon be a thing of the past. :cry:
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Postby blue-eden » Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:43 am

Oh it's so sad. So sad when they don't need you to rock them anymore. Morgan goes to sleep on her own now of course. She's up there now, after a couple of stories, some tickles, and a goodnight kiss, singing to herself. It's been like this for well over a year now, she just doesn't need my help. We quit nursing to sleep when she was about 18 months old and even then I put her in bed awake, and she'd happily talk herself to sleep.

I so miss watching her fall asleep in my arms. Even Leo, now, doesn't pass out on the boob anymore. I nurse him, put him in bed, and (at night anyway, not so much for naps, lol) he just rolls around and then closes his eyes and drifts off. I watch him fall asleep on the monitor now, not in my arms.
And it makes me sooo sentimental and sad. *sniff*
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Postby Stucky » Tue Jan 05, 2010 8:38 pm

ladybearne2-
Hi there, I understand your question and your anxiety. I am a wonderful stay at home Mom to 3 wonderful children. I lay on the floor and play with them, cook them homemade organic meals, have never and will never spank. BUT I happen to have very strong views on raising independent sleepers. It is of my opinion that 4 or 5 months is a wonderful time to BEGIN lightly teaching your lo to fall asleep without your assistance. My favorite books are Sleeping Through the Night by Jodi Mindell and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Weissbluth. They have excellent suggestions on beginning this process. I followed a combination of their methods explicitely, I think that is important.

I never did CIO with any of my children but I did do sleep training. I adore rocking my Phoebe at night and reading our stories and I really adore that when "our song" (twinkle twinkle- the extended version :wink: ) is over she knows its night night time. I rock her and read to her and cuddle her many many times throughout the day. She is the MOST affectionate of my 3, anyone will agree with that. No regrets whatsoever, hard choice but a great one for our family. Good luck with what you choose :D
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