Postpartum Anger?

Fourth you ask? Your body is still full of pregnancy hormones as you adjust to life sleep-deprived with your new baby outside your womb.

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Postpartum Anger?

Postby MotoX Mom » Sat Jan 23, 2010 11:21 pm

I have noticed since DD was born that I have a pretty short fuse. I am the type of person who really tries to keep her emotions in check and stay rational as much as possible (i know hormones def interfere with this :) ).

I am pretty self sufficient and very organized. I research issues and try to come up with the best solutions for my baby. When people try to interfere with this, I get really angry...not at them directly, I hold it in. When relatives come over and everyone wants to play "pass the baby around" when she hasnt slept hardly all day and is over tired and they are convinced THEY will have the majic touch to soothe our very fussy baby so they dont want to give her back to me (I KNOW i can get her soothed quickly by nursing her...what makes you think I am going to give you a chance to soothe her while I listen to her cry and escalate?!)

DH works out of town M-F and when he comes home, he only has 2 days to do the things (around the house and otherwise) that need to be done. This gives him little time with the baby. I am blessed to stay at home with my baby, but it is definitely hard to have him home only 2 days.

Anyway, I am now rambling, but I wanted to know if PP Anger is an issue with anyone? Its like no one can do anything right and I know what my baby needs (as I am with her 24/7). I just want to wrap her up, hug and kiss her and tuck us away in a bubble. I know this sounds bad and its very not like me (i am a very social person), but I just feel this HUGE, selfless responsibility to care and protect her and I feel like I am the only one that feels this deeply...or I am just an emotional mess still from hormones?!

I am hoping someone can relate and let me know I am not crazy.
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Postby Ewa » Sun Jan 24, 2010 2:59 am

I think what you are referring to is the mother(ing) instict. :D
It can make even the meekest gal into a tigress when it comes to protecting her young. (I am usually very meek.)
I think it's a good thing.
I'm sorry to hear your DH is away most of the week! That must be tough on you! I hope you have somebody else around for a little support when he is not arround.
Spporter of BF, CD, Co-sleeping, VBAC. Mum to Sofia - 7 (15th November 2002), Miko - 6 (4th October 2004), Francesca - 2 (26 August 2008).
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Postby jadie_f » Sun Jan 24, 2010 10:35 am

not crazy at all, I felt the same way, I still do many days. I actually went back to work part time which has helped. The hormones and emotions are really overwhelming, DH and I have not been getting along very well, I get very angry with him easily, and to be honest he is very helpful and wonderful to me and LO, but he still seems to do nothing right. Getting a little time away, even an hour did help me a bit. It was really hard at first but I did leave her with DH while I went to the store, or my mom while I went to the doctor. Once you see she is safe with others and your world doesnt crash down if youre away from her for a minute (although it feels like it the first few times) it will help. I actually found my anxiety lessened a lot after I went back to work and realized she is happy, healthy, cared for and safe, even if I'm not with her 24/7.

I think the anger is very instinctual, maybe an animal-like response to having a helpless baby, anger keeps you on your toes, keeps you observant and full of adrenaline, sort of gives you the energy you would need to protect your LO from harm. Plus sleep deprivation and hormones into play and its no wonder my DH still has his head somedays :lol:
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Postby Wishingandwaitingnomore! » Sun Jan 24, 2010 12:54 pm

Nope, you're not alone.

For me, it was more of the times when I was alone with Gabe. I'd be curled up feeding him, and one of the dogs would want to go out, or the phone would ring from across the room, or the dogs would get under my feet when walking the baby. That really really pissed me off. I had to go to the doctor and get something for it because I didn't like feeling that way.

ETA: That is a normal response about how you feel for your baby. I tell my DH all the time "Motherhood has given me a ginormous set of big brass balls." lol There are things that I would have never thought of doing/saying before having him. Now, there's nothing I wouldn't do...
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Postby PixieB » Sun Jan 24, 2010 1:09 pm

I've been big time cranky since having Violet. It's a combination of sleep deprivation and horrormones. It takes a while for your body to level out again. It's not all the time, but I've definitely got a shorter fuse. I do reassure DH that it's just the hormones, that I do really love him and love how he helps.

Is there any way you can set 2-3 hours over the weekend to just be snuggly family time where chores can just wait so you and DH get to enjoy being a family, so he gets to enjoy being a dad? Even if you can just wrangle half an hour every evening of the week that would make a big difference to how your relationship adjusts to your new addition.
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