1 wk pp...feel gross and alone

Fourth you ask? Your body is still full of pregnancy hormones as you adjust to life sleep-deprived with your new baby outside your womb.

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1 wk pp...feel gross and alone

Postby babyhelstrup » Sat Feb 06, 2010 10:29 am

i posted this in my jan group also.

My LO is just over 1 wk. I know that all they really do is eat and sleep. DH went back to work after a couple days and they were long days too. When he leaves I am in the same spot as when he comes home. I feel like i have become part of the chair. I am even sleeping in it. she sleeps so much better on my chest. and bc i want to sleep i let her sleep that way. I feel like s slug. I dont even shower daily bc i cant. i feel gross and very unloveable. is this normal to feel this way?

and i am still waiting to get bladder control back. i do kagles, i think, but cant even feel that i am doing them.
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Re: 1 wk pp...feel gross and alone

Postby blue-eden » Sat Feb 06, 2010 1:11 pm

babyhelstrup wrote:i posted this in my jan group also.

My LO is just over 1 wk. I know that all they really do is eat and sleep. DH went back to work after a couple days and they were long days too. When he leaves I am in the same spot as when he comes home. I feel like i have become part of the chair. I am even sleeping in it. she sleeps so much better on my chest. and bc i want to sleep i let her sleep that way. I feel like s slug. I dont even shower daily bc i cant. i feel gross and very unloveable. is this normal to feel this way?

and i am still waiting to get bladder control back. i do kagles, i think, but cant even feel that i am doing them.


:hugs: It's so normal. One week after birth, you are still recovering. And enjoying your first bonding time with your baby. Enjoy it, and don't worry about the dishes. Well, ok , at least try to get a shower in once in a while ;)

Bladder control will come back, but it might take up to a couple months. Give your body time to get back to normal. My doc told me that a woman doesn't FULLY (inside and out, hormones, thyroid, everything) recover from birth until after a year.

If you start to feel "blue" longer than a couple weeks, maybe talk to your doc. Make sure you eat well, sleep when you can, and in general take care of yourself. You'll feel better soon :)
congrats on your baby!
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Postby ahenderson05 » Sat Feb 06, 2010 2:27 pm

ITA w/ Blue. You will start feeling more and more human again as time passes Hun, I promise.

About those showers, take one!! You will feel so refreshed and rejuvenated!! Even if it just a quick one, you will feel a lot better. I know it's hard to put the baby down but can you drag the bassinet into the bathroom or to the door? I do this will all my babies just to get some washing time!!
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Postby babyhelstrup » Sat Feb 06, 2010 5:44 pm

i use har vib chair when i have to go potty. other than that all she wantsis to be held...
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Postby Wendella » Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:36 pm

Have you tried swaddling her? Maybe she'll feel snug enough to let you put her down if she is swaddled.
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Postby J_blackrose » Sun Feb 07, 2010 8:17 am

Do you have fan in your bathroom. babys love those fans and the running water. Aryn 9 times out of 10 will just sit there contently in her car seat while I take a bath. She loves the sound of the fan and water.


But yeah one week PP that's totally normal. I had the worse time with bladder control. I'd get up from BFing Aryn and have to run to the bathroom or I'd be in trouble. It will get better I promise.
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Postby babyhelstrup » Sun Feb 07, 2010 12:43 pm

i am really bad at swaddling. she gets madvif her arms are not free. so i try to make it tight still. we have a sound machine w the sound ofb the ocean. i started to use the womb sound also and that seems to be working a little
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Postby meg1492 » Sun Feb 07, 2010 1:06 pm

have you got the book Happiest Baby on the Block? He talks a lot of the 5 S's and it is like a magic wand for J....especially the swaddle, side swing and shush combination. It's like a light switch to calm him down.


Edit: to change book title. I always mix up HBOTB and HSHHC. bad me.
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Postby Wendella » Sun Feb 07, 2010 3:42 pm

The Miracle Blanket works wonders for babies who don't mind their arms being swaddled. DD1 loved it. DD2 wants to have her arms out. With the Miracle Blanket, there is no escaping so you might want to check that one out. The trick is to watch the video demonstration though. I was using it wrong for the first month or so until I finally watched it.
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Postby babyhelstrup » Sun Feb 07, 2010 7:27 pm

meg1492 wrote:have you got the book Happiest Baby on the Block? He talks a lot of the 5 S's and it is like a magic wand for J....especially the swaddle, side swing and shush combination. It's like a light switch to calm him down.


Edit: to change book title. I always mix up HBOTB and HSHHC. bad me.


i rented the dvd from netflix. just have to watch it. but knew abt 3 of the 5. and those do workvery well.
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Postby babyhelstrup » Sun Feb 07, 2010 7:30 pm

Wendella wrote:The Miracle Blanket works wonders for babies who don't mind their arms being swaddled. DD1 loved it. DD2 wants to have her arms out. With the Miracle Blanket, there is no escaping so you might want to check that one out. The trick is to watch the video demonstration though. I was using it wrong for the first month or so until I finally watched it.



i have one. i used it th first nigh home, the hardest night so far; would not go to sleep til 5 am and crying like crazy, i may hace to try it again. but the arms may be an issue....
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Postby desies » Mon Feb 08, 2010 12:58 am

I also have the miracle blanket and just started using it when LO was 2.5 weeks. He would wiggle out of every other blanket. It is amazing, he stops crying the second the last wrap goes around and sleeps ..well like a baby. :) I would give it another go. If your first night home was like mine then nothing worked. Don't give up, it'll get better.
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Postby Bubble1 » Mon Feb 08, 2010 7:20 am

Hi Amy,

I promise that things will feel a little more in control soon. When I got home with my l/o I felt like I'd been hit by a bus, of course I loved my new baby but I felt completely out of control because I couldn't stop the crying, I tried all the tricks people suggested and all my baby wanted was to be held. I decided to just go with it, I let the housework go to pot and I hoped it would get easier. It does, really quickly.

Physically you will feel better with every week that passes, I was so scared at first because like you I couldn't even feel my pelvic floor muscles and I really thought they'd been completely ruined, the good news is that as the swelling went down the feeling started to come back and the bladder control improved a lot.

Remember that these tiny little babies have lots of adjusting to do to life on the outside. I've read this lots from other Mums and it was certainly the case with my little one that as the weeks went by he became much happier to be put down, more settled, more aware of which way round day and night are, easier to read etc. It's going to get lots easier and in 6 weeks time when your l/o is smiling at you and going down for a nap you will look back and be amazed at how far you've come.

Some things I did in the early weeks that helped keep me sane were to try and go for a short walk outside with the stroller every day, my little man actually went to sleep whilst walking and the crying was so much easier to handle outdoors than in. I also used a baby sling and put him in that when I wanted to just potter around the house....believe it or not doing the dishes helped me feel like I'd actually achieved something. I got dh to do the shopping and he stocked up on things like banana's and cereal bars so I had easy things to eat. I also had my bath or shower in the evening once dh was home and able to cuddle the baby.

Hard to believe but at 12 weeks mine now lays in his cot and plays with cot toys while I shower, he sits in his bouncer while I make dinner and he plays on his playmat whilst I do housework. I have dropped 2 stone, I've been out and brought some cheap clothes in a larger size so that I'm not slobbing all the time in maternity clothes and I'm not crying about how I don't fit in all my old clothes, I've even started wearing make up and going out to baby groups, lunch with friends, I've even been out on my own for a hair cut.

You don't mention if you are breastfeeding or not but if you are don't forget that there will be a whole lot of hormones in your system from that too. Most importantly remember how amazing you are that you have created this little life and don't put too much pressure on yourself to resume normal life, celebrity style perfection or anything too soon.
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Postby Bee-Jeweled » Mon Feb 08, 2010 8:38 am

:grouphug: hang in there mama - this is a hard time for EVERY woman. you are not alone. i cried every day for 3 weeks when my DD was born and this is totally normal. i felt like i had absolutely no control over my bodily functions, my emotions, or my life in general. i wish i had not put so much pressure on myself but hindsight is 40-40 right? at least i know for next time! if that feeling lasts longer than 2-3 weeks then you should talk to your OB.

if all you feel up to on certain days is sitting on the couch with your LO then that's all you should do. i will agree with pp that a shower will definitely make you feel better - more human! and getting out of the house may help too - even if it's just for a walk around the block if weather permits or a walk around the mall if not.

the swaddle sack should work wonders for your LO when you have to put her down, it may just take a couple minutes for her to get used to having her arms swaddled.

just remember - we are all speaking from experience when we tell you it WILL get better. i had a terribly colicky baby - she cried ALL the time for the first 3 months but that 3 months went by in the blink of an eye and now i find myself wishing i could go back!
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Postby babyhelstrup » Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:58 am

thanks all. i am feeling better slowly. and amazing how good a shower feels. i have to just hand her over and take one...

and last night i actually got to cuddle a little w/ dh. that felt really good.i miss being w him.
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