Wow!! I can't believe that it was almost 3 months ago that I wrote that original post! Since then, I have come back to this board and read the different replies over the weeks but I never replied back! I see that there have been quite a few ladies who have viewed this post so I wanted to come back and update on how things turned out for us... Hopefully it will help somebody else who may be going through the same thing in the future!
First of all.. thanks to everyone who replied! It truly helped me! If it wasnt for all of your very kind responses, my friends, family, God, and medication (prozac) I may not be here to write this post right now.
There were times in the first 6-8 weeks that my husband would hide the gun that we keep in our house from me, he was afraid I would hurt myself! It was scary. I would drive places and not even bother putting my seatbelt on because I honestly did not care if somebody hit me and killed me. I would sit and cry a.lot. !! There were times that I didnt want to look at or talk to my son at all. I just wanted to disappear from the world. I was told that I had post partum depression.. but to tell you the truth.. I dont think I had depression. I think I had post partum psychosis! I had some WEIRD thoughts going on in my head in the weeks following his birth.
But, I'm so happy and thankful that I can sit here 3 months later and say that I feel sooooo much better and I absolutely LOVE being a mommy to my sweet little baby boy!! Everybody told me that it would get better as the weeks go by and that I would bond with him soon. Of course, in my sleep deprived/newborn foggy brain, I didnt believe any of it... but it really WAS the truth.
As I became adjusted to my new life... slowly.. with each passing day, it has just gotten better and better!! I wouldnt want my life to be any other way than the way it is right now. When he smiles or giggles at me, my whole world completey stops and he is the only thing that matters! I had always heard women talk about that "love at first sight" electrifying moment when you hold your new baby for the first time.... well, that wasnt the case for me! Instead, I felt like I was holding a stranger who was fixing to completely take over my life... and I really did not want him to!!
So... if anyone is reading this and going through a similiar situation, please:
1. get immediate help from a doctor
2. make sure to have somebody help you take care of your baby during this time
3. and trust me when I say that it WILL get better. It won't just get better... it will get great! =)
Here's my personal email if anyone ever needs to talk to someone who's been there before:
And I also want to put a link to a blog post that I read during my hardest days as a new mommy! (the comments to the posts are really good to read as well!)
http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/se ... %20mommies
God bless!!! xoxo