Meet other moms who have chosen to stay at home
Sun Feb 06, 2011 11:50 am
When others talk about wanting to become stay at home moms, money is usually the big factor. Or at least the perception that you need to have a lot of it is the big factor. How many of us fit this stereotype? I created the poll without stating a dollar figure because wealthiness is a variable thing depending on the cost of living in your area. So just answer subjectively based on what you think about your own financial situation.
I'd put our family in the middle class demographic. We don't have a lot but we make ends meet. I budget for our groceries and we've nixed some niceties that some might consider basic because the cost/benefit didn't make sense for us. We're trying hard to save money too. Not having children till Dh was more established in his profession has helped us a lot too. So I wouldn't call us wealthy, but we get by and we plan and so far it has come together.
Sun Feb 06, 2011 12:30 pm
Definitely don't consider us wealthy. My hubby is an E-5 in the military. We make enough to get by, and are able to afford our necessities and some extras, but we definitely aren't constantly going on vacation, or out to eat, or buying expensive clothing. Everything has to be budgeted. But I think the trade-off is totally worth it, and wouldn't trade being home for more money.
Sun Feb 06, 2011 12:38 pm
I'm proud of the fact that I have made sacrifices to be a SAHM.
And TBO, we weren't at all wealthy before I became a SAHM, but we still made it work. I wish other people realized that about families with SAHMs.
Sun Feb 06, 2011 8:33 pm
We live comfortably and all of our needs are met. I don't think that we're wealthy, but we aren't struggling. We've made some sacrifices for me to be home but it's been so worth it.
I got a lot of crap from women I work with when I said I was taking the year off to be a SAHM. My boss actually said "wow, your husband must make SEVEN figures". Um, no he's not making $1 million per year. If he was you'd never have met me because I wouldn't have ever applied for this job! LOL!! So many told me that I was so lucky and that they wish they could do it too but that they couldn't afford it. Except for one of them, I think they aren't being honest. They could be home but they'd have to make changes that they aren't willing to make. Some of the things we've cut back on or eliminated are things these women aren't willing to even consider. That's fine, but don't pretend that you don't have a choice about staying home.
Mon Feb 07, 2011 6:20 am
That's how I feel about it, too, Autumn. We just have to make some sacrifices, but I don't NEED the big house, I don't NEED the name brand clothes, I don't NEED the trips to Europe.
Plus, with another baby on the way, I'm pretty sure we would lose money if I went to work. Even with my degree, I don't make much when I do work. So putting two kids into daycare, the cost of eating out more (because seriously, neither of us are going to feel like cooking after working a full day), extra miles and gas in my car, clothes for work, lunches, plus the stress of having to split the responsibilities at home whereas I am able to take on the majority of it now...I just don't see us coming out ahead!
Mon Feb 07, 2011 9:01 am
Before I was a SAHM, I would have counted us wealthy by income standards, but because of living in a high income area, it didn't feel like we were wealthy. We had a comfy house and DH drove a sports car.
We sold our house and rent now - for 1/3rd of the cost of our old mortgage and taxes. We sold DH's sports car and now only drive used cars we can purchase outright. We budget everything and rarely go on vacation. We live just as comfortably as we did before I quit my job, we just don't have the same "luxuries". I never counted DH's car as a luxury, more like a mistake
The more I talk to people the more I realize that they don't understand how budgeting works and how to make changes so that they can be a SAHM.
Mon Feb 07, 2011 10:05 am
I wouldn't say we were wealthy but we are not struggling either. We are comfortable. If I had to put us in a class status it would be middle.
The reason that is though is because we made huge sacrifices over the years(think ramen noodles for dinner for a few months lol). My DH has a very good job with a great company where he is paid well. Over the years we reduced our debt and sacrificed while he was moving up in the company. He started as a maintenance tech and is now the Regional Director of Environmental Services. So as income was going up, bills where going down. We outright own both of our vehicles. They are not the newest but they are both reliable and accomplish what they should lol. We each have 1 credit card for emergency purposes and thats IT! No credit card bills is what made a huge difference for us.
Mon Feb 07, 2011 12:08 pm
I actually think it might be harder for the wealthy ones to go to one income then "us" non-wealthy ones since they are used to a certain standard of living and the missing income can make a huge difference.
If the one remaining income is enough to cover rent / mortgage, utilities, food and gas, insurance then you're pretty much good to go to be a SAHM
... anything above that is not necessary
Mon Feb 07, 2011 12:09 pm
I voted no. We are comfortable
Hopefully one day with smart choices and a little luck we will be 'wealthy' hehe
Mon Feb 07, 2011 1:11 pm
Well so far 87% of us are not wealthy. How is this possible? Don't you know you have to be wealthy to be a SAHM??
Mon Feb 07, 2011 1:23 pm
stefanielynn wrote:Definitely don't consider us wealthy. My hubby is an E-5 in the military. We make enough to get by, and are able to afford our necessities and some extras, but we definitely aren't constantly going on vacation, or out to eat, or buying expensive clothing. Everything has to be budgeted. But I think the trade-off is totally worth it, and wouldn't trade being home for more money.
This exactly, even down to the rank. We don't have the fanciest cars, the most toys, etc., but we have enough to live comfortably without struggling from paycheck to paycheck. I think that is mostly due to the fact that like Stephanielynn said, we budget and live WELL within our means. I watch friends of ours who make less (lower ranked) live in apartments/homes that are twice what ours costs plus drive two brand new cars with payments and cannot figure out why they never have any money and both have to work. You pay to play...
Also, like MK13 said, if you are used to living on less, it makes it easier...Its all about what is important to you/your family. For us, that is raising our children without daycare and one parent at home with them when at all possible. I do not plan on always being a SAHM, only while my children are under school aged. Once they are in school, I will go back to work, hence why I am finishing up my Nurisng degree right now...for that future.
Mon Feb 07, 2011 1:27 pm
Zephyr wrote:Well so far 87% of us are not wealthy. How is this possible? Don't you know you have to be wealthy to be a SAHM??
It's a mindset. Some people just think they have to live a certain way and don't realize how rewarding our
lifestyles actually are, despite having to live on a tighter budget.
I made a pretty good amount of our income and when I decided to quit, we were pretty scared. But after lots of budgeting and cutting, and a lifestyle change, DH and I both agree we are BOTH MUCH MUCH happier with me at home. It has reduced stress drastically and to be honest, we live a much more "comfortable" life now...
No more waking up the baby every morning, packing up every day, picking up dropping off, getting mad at the childcare provider for doing something we don't agree with, rushing to prepare dinner (or pick up dinner), fumbling with getting every day things taken care of such as paying bills on time, getting things drycleaned, always feeling like I missed out on my son's milestones, dealing with sick days and making up work, the list of stressors goes on... poof, gone.
Not to mention the fact that I feel like I am exactly where I need to be during this time in my life and am doing exactly what nature intended and what God wants for me. The extra money just lost it's value to me.
Tue Feb 08, 2011 7:04 am
We aren't wealthy, but we're in a very comfortable place. DH was 36 when we met and had been working and paying a mortgage steadily since he was 21. I had a very well paying job (at a very unstable company, could go out of business any day, which is why I'm quitting) and a house. We were able to sell my house and pay off the mortage on his. Our cars are paid off, too. Without those two monthly payments to make, we'll be able to live comfortably on his salary. We don't eat out much or buy expensive clothes, for sure. Our cars were bought used. We bargain-shop for groceries. My engagement ring is my only valuable piece of jewelry.
Being older parents and me having worked for a few years will really make a difference, for us.
Tue Feb 08, 2011 11:11 am
I said 'yes' because I think by the world's standards we're all wealthy and can get by with a lot less than we think we can. Also, even though DH & I are nowhere close to living in a mansion by US standards or making seven figures, I do know we're better off than a lot of people in the US and live in a wealthy area. We DO budget, and we DO try to be good stewards with our money. I buy most of the kids' clothing at 2nd hand shops and only buy things for myself when they're on sale. Even if we buy a new car, it isn't really new. It's pre-owned. If I was working, we could save a lot more and worry less about our budget, but the sacrifice is so minimal compared to the payoff of being here for my kids when they need me.
Wed Feb 09, 2011 10:15 am
MightyMarj wrote:I said 'yes' because I think by the world's standards we're all wealthy and can get by with a lot less than we think we can. Also, even though DH & I are nowhere close to living in a mansion by US standards or making seven figures, I do know we're better off than a lot of people in the US and live in a wealthy area.
I thought the same thing when I first voted, but I put "no" for the purpose of the thread. Technically, we all are wealthy compared to the rest of the world, but according to society's standards/expectations, and misconceptions about SAHMs, we are not "wealthy"...
but while we are on the topic...
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