What age did you leave your lo overnight?

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At what age did your lo stay overnight somewhere without you?

0-2 months
8
12%
2-4 months
5
7%
4-6 months
4
6%
6-9 months
5
7%
9-12 months
2
3%
Never/other
44
65%
 
Total votes : 68

What age did you leave your lo overnight?

Postby lukesmommy » Sat Aug 15, 2009 4:58 pm

I have both sets of grandparents (and DH) begging me to let Luke stay with them overnight (I just don't get this :? ) and I'm not ready. He needs me, especially in the middle of the night when he's had a bad dream or is just upset. He won't calm for DH at night, why would he calm for them especially if he's in a different environment?

Anyways, DH says I'm being irrational and I have control issues with how Luke is cared for (men :roll: ) but I feel like I'm completely normal? :wink:

So, help me feel normal!? LOL Or if you did let your lo stay overnight somewhere, how did it go? Do you do it often?
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Postby NMRose28 » Sat Aug 15, 2009 6:16 pm

Just wanted to say you are totally normal. I could NEVER leave my baby over night...not with DH or with anyone else.
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Postby JenAsh3 » Sat Aug 15, 2009 6:17 pm

We left A&D w/ my parents for ONE night when they were about 5 mos. They were very used to my parents & had been to their house/stayed over w/ us several times before then. I missed them & called to check in often, but they were absolutely fine. It was probably closer to 8 or 9 mos before we left them for more than one night(at most 3) & now they'll stay 4 nights--that's really the most my parents can handle! :wink:
I don't have a problem w/ it b/c I know my parents will do everything just like I want it. They have been very involved from the beginning, so A&D are very used to them--now generally prefer them over me when they're here! :roll: It's good for dh & I to get a couple good night's sleep & spend a little time alone(something we don't get much of--my parents are the ONLY people I'll let keep them & they live 4 1/2 hrs away!).

But, all that said, YOU have got to be ok w/ it. Don't let your parents/ILs/dh guilt or talk you into something you don't want to do!! You're the mommy, you know what's best for your baby!
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Postby 121903 » Sat Aug 15, 2009 6:31 pm

I agree with the PPrs I think the way you're feeling is totally normal and IMO that age is a little young to be left somewhere overnight.Shame on your DH for telling you that! Sheesh he's still a baby and needs you.

I didn't leave my ds1 with anybody until he was a little over a year old and it was just 1 night and i was so hard! I did not sleep hardly at all that night :( I missed him too much.

If you aren't yet comfortable with the idea then dont let anyone else try to talk you into it.HTH
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Postby Heather32 » Sat Aug 15, 2009 6:53 pm

Evan stayed overnight with my inlaws on occasion during the Fall 2008 semester because I had a very late class 9:50p let out time so he might have stayed a total of 5 times during the semester (i hated it) and he stayed a week when DH and I went to vegas for my 30th birthday (we both hated it and vowed that we will take family vacations from then on). My inlaws want my children ALL the time. I dont see why they cannot visit us as a family or have us over there as a family. I do let E go with them on occasion solo for a few hours (still hate it feel like i have misplaced some vital part of me when he is gone) Alex (6m) has not gone alone and will be with them 2 days a month while I am in school and that is more than enough. They are great people and I do love them but I did not have children to be separated from them and I do not need a second pair of parents. Luckily my DH agrees with me :)
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Postby missnita » Sat Aug 15, 2009 7:33 pm

DS is 12 months old & has never been away from us overnight. For one, I'd miss him too much...but secondly, he still wakes once in the evening to make sure we're still here ;) I think I'll be ready when he's ready....so, once he has not a single sleep issue, can speak in sentences to let me know if something is wrong/has happened & seems to WANT to stay [isn't sobbing when we leave etc.] then it's okay & "time".
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Postby january » Sun Aug 16, 2009 7:20 am

I honestly wouldn't have any issues with my parents keeping her overnight because I know (and have seen) that they're capable of soothing her when she's upset & taking care of her the same way I do. She also STTN so I don't worry about her waking up in the middle of the night and needing me.

I just worry because she'll only fall asleep for the night by nursing & the minute she wakes up in the morning she wants boobie. I'm sure if she's hungry enough that she'd take a bottle/cup of BM... but I'd feel so bad for her crying for the boob & me not being there. :cry:

Plus, tbh, and I know this sounds ridiculous, but sometimes I worry she likes my parents more than she likes me. :oops: My mom can actually rock/sing her to sleep & she'll sit calmly and happily on my mom's lap and she NEVER does that with me. I never get hugs & cuddles yet my mom does. And every time we leave Vi at my parents to go grab dinner or whatever, she never seems to miss us at all.

OK, I think I have issues... :?

All that being said though, she will be staying overnight with my parents in October. I'm in a wedding & my parents will be taking her home around her normal bedtime to put her to bed... I don't see much sense in us waking her up at midnight or whatever to take her back home (they COULD just keep her at our house but it's the complete opposite direction).
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Violet - 12/31/08 (born on her EDD -- 6lb 13oz)
Eleanor & Cecilia - 6/26/12 (born 39 weeks 2 days -- 6lb 8oz & 7lb 10oz)

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Postby JLT » Sun Aug 16, 2009 9:05 am

I left DS at my SIL's overnight a week ago - hadn't planned on leaving him all night - but something unexpected happened and we couldn't get back until after 3 am (we went with a group to the casino on a chartered bus - we thought it was coming back at 10pm :oops: ) I didn't want to wake him up to take him home, so we let him stay overnight. She has been bugging me ever since to let him stay overnight - I don't think I could do it again. I was miserable that night, missing him terribly. DH and I were waiting in our driveway when she pulled up with him the next morning. He slept great and seemed to have fun - but I just worry too much. If we had known how late our bus was coming back - we wouldn't have gone because I had not planned on leaving him overnight anywhere at this age.
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Postby nessifly » Sun Aug 16, 2009 11:18 am

We considered it for our 5th anniversary last month, but I decided against it. I'd just be thinking about Leo the whole time!

If you aren't comfortable with it, don't do it! :)
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Postby ajs333 » Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:40 pm

This is an issue for me too. When Ian was about 6 weeks old, he stayed overnight with my mother (whom I trust completely). I cried my eyes out. Although DH is ready to let him stay overnight again, I don't think I can do it again for a while. They just don't understand how attached and protective you feel of that little person you carried and protected for 9 months. Don't let anyone make you feel bad! Jeez, look at what all you went through just to get that baby here! I'd be a little "overprotective" too. You are just being a good mama IMO.
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Postby LoneStar » Sun Aug 16, 2009 1:13 pm

Guess I'm the odd one out here. I've let my parents keep DS overnight since he was very young. I'm completely comfortable with my parents and they take such good care of him. I do miss him, but I know he's in good hands and can rest easy. Now, if it were MIL, that'd be a whole other story....

However, if you're not comfortable with it, then you most definitely don't have to do it. Your baby, your decision. KWIM?
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Postby emoprincesa » Sun Aug 16, 2009 4:04 pm

Brayden was 7 months and I was away for 2 nights for a wedding. I don't consider that leaving him because he's with his daddy. Then I *had* to leave him with my mom when I had Ava.

I am going away for 3 nights in September, but Josh will be with them.

I will not be letting them stay overnight without at least one of use there for a long time (unless it's an emergency).
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Postby mommyslittlemnster » Sun Aug 16, 2009 4:54 pm

We left DS with my parents for 5 nights when we went to Chicago a couple weeks ago. I missed him a lot but I knew the trip would go much more smoothly without him. I have complete confidence in my parents and he goes over there all the time so he is familiar with him. I wouldnt let anyone else watch him overnight though.
Don't let anyone force you to do it!!
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Postby Leighsah » Sun Aug 16, 2009 5:37 pm

The only time I have been away from Phillip was last month (so 23 months) for 3 nights. He was with my DH at the inlaws house.....we were kind of on vacation with the inlaws, then had a wedding to go to, but I had to head back for school for a few days.

I would never have considered it before the age of 21 months (when he weaned) because of BFing. Luke is still young and I don't think it's weird for you to want to be with him at night. I will say I enjoyed my 3 night break from Phillip last month (and from DH....LOL....had the house all to myself!), but he was practically 2 years old and with DH.....so very different.
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Postby nessifly » Sun Aug 16, 2009 6:44 pm

mommyslittlemnster wrote:Don't let anyone force you to do it!!


I think that's the key. If you come to the decision on your own terms, it will sit much better w/ you than if you felt at all pressured, IMO.
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