What age did you leave your lo overnight?

Sleepless nights. Breastfeeding vs Bottle. Baby's first milestones. Vaccinations. Teething. Crawling.

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At what age did your lo stay overnight somewhere without you?

0-2 months
8
12%
2-4 months
5
7%
4-6 months
4
6%
6-9 months
5
7%
9-12 months
2
3%
Never/other
44
65%
 
Total votes : 68

Postby Lindsey » Sun Aug 16, 2009 8:45 pm

I still haven't left either of them overnight (well DH was with Isabel while I had Olive but I don't really count that). Isabel is 2 and Olive James is 4 months.
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Postby TXlonghorn » Sun Aug 16, 2009 10:15 pm

My son sleeps through the night in his own crib and does not show any signs of insecurity around stranger (yet).

When he was 8 months old we went to a wedding on the other side of the country and it would have not been feasable and/or appropriate to take him. They keep him A LOT during the day and are VERY attentive. We were not worried about him at all and he didn't have any issues while we were gone.

I would have left him sooner, but there wasn't really occasion to.

Don't feel pressured, when you are ready then you will know when it is time.

edit: I forgot to mention that we do leave him during the day with various sitters for 3-4 hour stretches sometimes. All of our sitters and caregivers are all either family or very close friends that we have known for a long time. Our regular daytime non-family babysitter is a woman I have known for several years and is a pediatric nurse.
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Postby 2007mamavv » Mon Aug 17, 2009 7:02 am

with DS # 1 he didnt stay over at anyones house until he was 18month and i was in the hospital having DS #2.lol

Now they have stayed over at grandparents/ aunts house since ds #2 was baout 2 months or so. And they spend the night every week. I think building that grandparent/grandchild relationship is very important
They stay at nana's house( mil) all the time and she babysits them regulary. She has two extra bedrooms one is victors one is liams. she has a toddler bed and crib, high chair swing exersaucer bouncer toys toys toys, bedding, bathtub. everything there She has two car seats also and a stroller.

She buys formula for the baby and food for victor. They love going there. Its a home away from home for both of them!

but i feel more comfy about it now that victor is older and im more at east with liam going places.
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Postby seekerin » Mon Aug 17, 2009 7:23 pm

there is obviously a wide range of 'normal'. the key is to not let anybody pressure you into something you are not comfortable with, or don't think your baby is ready for.

personally, my son just turned 9 months and hasn't spent the night away yet, nor is he likely to for at least another couple of months. of course, he is breastfeeding and hates bottles, and doesn't always STTN, so he's not a good candidate yet for nights at grandma's...but even if that wasn't the case, i wouldn't let him do it unless i felt totally confident that we'd both be okay with it. he loves my parents but he has some separation anxiety when i'm not around so he's happiest in his own bed with his mom's boob for breakfast, and that's what works for us for now. i am looking forward to a day when i can have a night to myself with his father again, but it probably won't happen until he's at least 1. i just keep reminding myself that all this anticipation will make it that much sweeter. in the meantime, he has slept over at their house before...but i have always slept there with him.
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Postby lukesmommy » Tue Aug 18, 2009 6:18 am

Thank you all so much for your stories!!!! :D :D

I sat here and read these to DH and I'm hoping it's sinking in that it's normal to not want to be away from your baby at night. Last night was a perfect example for me showing him I'm not ready. Luke was up 4x (teething) and would only calm down for me. What if he's teething in a month when he wants Luke to stay at MIL's..kwim?

Also, he doesn't nap well for her when she keeps him all day - there's no way he'd sleep good at night. Also, I was at my mom's house Sunday night and it was Luke's bedtime so I was packing up getting ready to leave. My mom says, "Oh Angie, don't put him to bed so early - he's obviously happy and wants to play." It was 7:20 and it was his bedtime! I got him loaded in the car and gave him his blankie, he was out within 30 seconds. He WAS tired. She downright said if she was keeping him overnight she wouldn't put him to bed when we requested b/c he didn't "look" tired. I don't know why, but this ticks me off. I'm never going to let him stay if they don't follow my rules and keep his schedule.

She's the grandma that lets her grandkids stay up until 1 or 2 if they want to (3 & 5 year olds) so I know she wouldn't follow my schedule for him.

Sorry to rant, but it's helping me feel better about my decision to not allow it yet. Maybe after he turns 1 or when he can communicate what he needs a little better. We'll just have to wait and see.

Thanks again!
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Postby january » Tue Aug 18, 2009 6:35 am

lukesmommy wrote:She's the grandma that lets her grandkids stay up until 1 or 2 if they want to (3 & 5 year olds) so I know she wouldn't follow my schedule for him.


My FIL & SMIL are the exact same way! They'd been begging to keep my 4yo nephew overnight so when William said that he wanted to stay at grandpa's house, my SIL let him.

They let him stay up watching cartoons until 1 a.m. and fed him Cheetos for breakfast. Why? "That's what he wanted!" :roll:

I know that's part of being a grandparent, but still. Let the kid stay up 1 hour past his bed time, not 5! Needless to say, DD won't be staying the night with them anytime soon!

My mom thinks it's a little crazy that I make Vi nap every 1.5-2 hours and that she has a 7:00 bedtime. She didn't make me nap at all when I was younger because I "didn't seem tired" and didn't put me to bed until she went to bed.

But she has seen DD before we started doing a sleep routine and knows how much happier she is on a routine. So I know she'll stick with it even if it's "weird".
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Postby obxgirl » Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:26 am

I'm nursing...and the little guy won't take a bottle...so I probably won't consider it for a while yet. Next year my DH wants to take a week long trip without Noah....but I'm not sure how I will feel about it at that point...so we shall see!
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Postby mandyt6 » Wed Aug 19, 2009 6:29 am

I put "never". My DD is 2 1/2 - can't do it, and I've had no reason to have to. If you're not comfortable with it - say no.
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Postby blue-eden » Wed Aug 19, 2009 7:42 am

I"ve never left my kids overnight. I wouldn't until they are old enough to understand that I"m not there and it's ok, if they wake up.
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Postby sugarlee » Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:46 am

I'm actually really surprised at how many of you haven't ever been away from your kids for the night. Not that it's a bad thing...but I'm just surprised. It was hard for me to leave DD overnight with out me or DH the first time and she was around 9 months(I had been away from her overnight before that...but she was home with DH)...after that it wasn't a big deal. She's ONLY stayed with my parents overnight because I know they will take care of my kids the way DH and I do and they respect my rules and habbits for them. I don't think leaving them with DH while I'm gone counts as leaving them with "someone" overnight....he's their father for goodness sake! It drives me insane when people say DH is babysitting the kids....is that what I do all day is babysit?? No...I'm their mother and they are my kids..a babysitter is someone you pay or someone other than you or their father(sorry that's kind of a different rant)
But anyways....there is nothing wrong with you not wanting to leave your kids overnight with someone else...but there is also nothing wrong with you wanting a little break and needing some alone time with your SO. That's very important also! That being said...I wouldn't leave my kids with someone that they aren't completely comfortable with....that's why my parents get them. DS is 2 months old and we have a wedding this weekend...so he will be staying overnight for the first time at my parents house without us..and I'm very comfortable with that...
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Postby Blakes_Mummy » Wed Aug 19, 2009 6:47 pm

Definitely DON'T feel guilted into it, especially by your DH. He should know & understand.

Blake's never been left fully overnight without one of us there (we did go out for New Years but it was only up the road & we put him to bed first & a wedding when he was 3 months but they stayed in the resort room [wedding was in the resort] & I went back every few hours to pump & check up on them.. still not overnight without us). By the time we got back he was still sound asleep so we carried him home & put him back into his own bed). He's been looked after by MIL during the night but we've always picked him up after we've done what we set out to do. We've all decided thought that the best thing for everyone now though is for MIL to watch him at OUR place if we're going somewhere. That way if we go somewhere & want to stay out she can crash the night in the spare room or if we get home early enough she can go home & we don't disturb Blake's sleeping.
Don't think I'd feel comfortable having him gone ALL night long.

I HATE the DH is babysitting thing too. He's the god damned parent too so it's NOT baby sitting.
I HAVE been away from Blake overnight but he was still at home with Daddy so I don't classify that as "leaving your LO overnight" & I have been alone with Blake overnight several times (Blake & I staying elsewhere due to early swimming classes) but again.. at least 1 parent was there.
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Postby 2007mamavv » Wed Aug 19, 2009 7:20 pm

the bigges thing for us is we only have left them over night or over two night ( but we me duing the day) in November me and Dh are going on our honeymoon( never had one) for a week.. So that is the longest we will be away from the boys... they will be staying with mil and fil that week
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Postby kayelzibub » Thu Aug 20, 2009 7:12 am

We haven't left C overnight yet..but we are planning on leaving him overnight on October 2nd for a concert out of state. He will be 2.5 months old. I trust my parents fully...I love my son, but he is great with other people..as long as he is getting snuggles he calms down..and DH and I need some time alone together...
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Postby missnita » Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:56 am

I agree, DH isn't babysitting if he's taking care of his own child. I'd completely trust DS overnight with DH, but I'd miss DS to pieces. For me it's a matter of missing him, for the most part. The other concern, when it wasn't DH watching him, would be people not following our instructions. We've actually never had a sitter outside of family & we'll be having a non-family member watch DS soon. It'll be after he's gone to bed, so I'm just concerned that if she doesn't follow our instructions he'll get scared or we'll be called home from out night out.
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Postby Kasey » Thu Aug 20, 2009 1:52 pm

mandyt6 wrote:I put "never". My DD is 2 1/2 - can't do it, and I've had no reason to have to. If you're not comfortable with it - say no.


Ditto this, and what blue said.

Also we are still nursing, and cosleeping, not that it would make a difference, cause I still would'nt be able to do it.
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