Crying it out

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What do you think about crying it out?

Against it
15
71%
Tried it-Didn't work it
5
24%
Tired it-Regret it
1
5%
 
Total votes : 21

Postby amyrocha1 » Wed Feb 21, 2007 1:14 pm

What about "tried it-worked great"

We used it with my son and he started sleeping through the night after 2 days. Also, he now takes 3 naps a day.
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Postby amyrocha1 » Wed Feb 21, 2007 1:14 pm

Oh sorry! I didn't see the last post. :oops:
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Postby melissasue » Wed Feb 21, 2007 1:51 pm

I tried, but she physically harms herself which leads to even MORE crying...so no CIO for us just yet. Maybe again in a few months.... I hear you with the frustration though!
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Postby HelenUK » Wed Feb 21, 2007 1:56 pm

Sort of tried it a few weeks back but could only bear to leave him for a few minutes at a time. I think I would wait till he's older, although, I don't think there;s any need. Normally me going back a few times for a quick cuddle is enough. I'm split on this one : My gut instinct is that it's damaging for a baby to think no one is coming to comfort them. I looked after my friend's baby the other week and she asked me to let her CIO to get to sleep. She only cried for a few mins and I think with her it's how she lets off steam before settling down for a sleep. I don't know. Give it a little go, but don;t leave her crying for too long I reckon. Gina Ford would have you leave her for 3 hours of course! :roll:
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Postby amyrocha1 » Wed Feb 21, 2007 2:06 pm

Let me clarify:

We didn't really let Tomas CIO; we did a modified ferber method. Basically, we put him down and he would cry, then my husband or I would go into his room every 5 min for 1 min and pat his chest. We would increase the intervals each time. I think the longest he ended up crying was 15 minutes. He was also a terrible nap taker and would only sleep in his bouncy seat for 20 minutes and the ferber method helped a lot with naps. He would be so cranky and overly tired every day because he didn't know how to fall asleep on his own (had to be bounced or rocked to sleep).
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Postby ddpaints » Wed Feb 21, 2007 3:02 pm

I did the same thing as the pp and it worked out great. I also found out he liked sleeping on his tummy for naps too when he was younger. I will have to say the other night he just wouldn't chill even if I picked him up so after 1/2 an hr back and forth at 3am I said fine you just deal with it yourself. After another 1/2 hr of crying he gave up and he has been sleeping through the night ever since. Now grant it he is almost 9 months old and I do not recomend doing the CIO with any baby under 6 months they need their mommies/ daddies. If you can stand it or can at least move to another part of the house so it's not so loud I think a little crying never hurt any older baby.
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Postby Artemnesia » Wed Feb 21, 2007 3:27 pm

I used to think it was a terrible idea but if Lilah is still waking 10+ times most nights in another few months I'll have to consider it. If she was only waking a few times I'd let it ride, but what's been going on with us is just beyond the pale. I even took her to the pedi, he said she was just a bad sleeper. :roll: Tell me something I don't know.
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Postby booboo » Wed Feb 21, 2007 3:29 pm

Iamca wrote:I tried adding "Tried it-Worked like a charm" to the poll but it wouldn't let me...sorry :oops:


When we did do it (by the book, Ferber method), it worked really well. However, you have to be VERY consistant. Since then, we have developed some bad habits, and now Emma doesnt STTN anymore... and I dont want to do Ferber again now because her cry (animal screams) are too loud and will wake the whole house
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Postby C&Ksmom » Wed Feb 21, 2007 3:30 pm

Tried it-Worked like a charm! Although I only let her cry 10 minutes at a time. She is nomally asleep within 10 minutes!
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Postby ddpaints » Wed Feb 21, 2007 3:34 pm

Art I will have to say I would have never thought I would be a mom to let my baby cry. But sometimes you just get to the end of your rope. My DH works away from home 5 days a week , I have no friends or family close to help and I had 5 months of colic scream that I spent every moment trying to sooth. Once I knew colic was over I just couldn't take it anymore and I know he is capable of STTN without food so I just gave up and said you're on your own kid.
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Postby Sap » Wed Feb 21, 2007 4:29 pm

When I went to visit family and Hana was 8 weeks old, my family wanted me to let her CIO so she could sleep, and I did a lot of research on it.

What I learned is that all babies are different. Some babies can sleep through the night at 4 weeks, others physically can't until they're a year old or more - their motabolism is so high that their body works through the food and their hunger wakes them up. When a baby who truly is hungry is left to CIO (even with a re-assuring pat on the back every few minutes) they are not being taught to sleep better and self soothe, they are being taught to ignore their hunger and that their need will not be met. It's called the extintion method and research greatly differs on it depending on what you read. I honestly don't think there is any unbiased info out there.

Now, other babies are able to STTN as far as needing food is concerned (at least when not in a growth spurt, growing disrupts sleep right through adolescence) but wake because they can't settle themeselves. This becomes a problem because the parent has to get up and sooth the child back to sleep, and no one gets a good night of rest. In this case there are different ways to help your child to self-sooth, but it's rare for any of it to really "take" before 6 months of age. Even Ferber does not reccomend his method for babies under 6 months. Sleepless nights is just one of those things a parent signs up for.

It's vitally important to teach good sleep habits to a baby, but at the same time understand that they way they fall asleep now will NOT be the way they fall asleep for the rest of their lives, regardless of what all the books say. Eventually you will transition your child out of a crib, maybe into a new room, at some point you'll stop the bath before bed every night, or stop reading them a story etc. They are capable and will learn other sleep associations as they grow up.

There are different ways to teach good sleep habits, and it usually will require at some point paying extra attention to your baby and learning their sleep signals. It's much easier to help a drowsy child to get to sleep than a screaming over tired one. Hana wasn't napping for a couple weeks because I was keeping her up too long. Now I start rocking her or lay her down when she first shows sleepy sighns and she naps great, it just took a little more work on my part.

We will not CIO with Hana. I know her personality, I hear her cries getting worse and worse and worse and all of my "mamabear" instinct tells me I need to do something to try and help. She didn't have colic, but did go through a "whitching hour" for 3 hours almost every night for the first 5 weeks. Nothing helped. Half the time DH was't home. She cried, I cried, it was horrible, but for me it was better to hold her as she cried than to let her cry alone, even if it was just holding her hand while she was in her crib. I don't like crying myself to sleep, and I couldn't imagine doing it to her. Now, so long as she's not over-tired, bedime is tear free and when she wakes in the night she'll go back to sleep unless she needs something (food or a diaper change). When she does wake for a night feeding I put her back in bed as soon as she's done, asleep or not, and she falls asleep without crying. If she does wake and cry when we first put her down for the night, we rock her again until she's asleep, it's what works for us.


On the other hand, a friend of mine has a son who is 6 now. No matter how asleep he was in her arms, when she put him in his crib he would scream, then whimper, and then go right to sleep. She felt bad that he was crying to sleep every night (it lasted 10-15 mins) but no matter how she comforted him it would always happen. He needed to "cry down" - it was his way of relaxing, and you could see (and hear) he was relaxing as it happened. Even if he woke in the middle of the night he would scream for a few minutes every now and then. It stoped when he was about 2 and since then he's slept great.

You know your baby, you know what he/she needs, and you'll be able to tell if CIO is right for your family. Personally, if your baby is under 1 and waking to eat (really eat, not just nibble and drifting off again), then I'd say they *can't* STTN yet. If they're waking to nibble or just can't put themselves back to sleep, then look at all the different ways to help your child to sleep, not just the extinction method. I think that helping your child get to sleep and then doing the "wait and see" method when they wake at night is more helpful than CIO. If they wake and just make noise, wait and see if they need you or if they'll go back to sleep on their own, that's how they learn self soothing when it matters (IMO).

I also thought this article had soe great info http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/06 ... d_cio.html
(i actually really like this whole blog, good hands on mommy issues)
Last edited by Sap on Wed Feb 21, 2007 5:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby jessie81 » Wed Feb 21, 2007 4:33 pm

I can't get Mallory to go to bed before midnight and everyone I know keeps telling me to let her cry it out, even my mom! I don't know what to do. I can't stand to let her cry... and she cries so hard when sh e's mad that she starts gagging herself! On the other hand, it would be nice to get her to bed earlier. I'm also fearful that she'll think that everytime I put her in the crib, I'm not going to come and comfort her when she's upset. I think it's great for people that have done it and it works... but I don't know if I can physically go through with it.
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