Crying it out

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What do you think about crying it out?

Against it
15
71%
Tried it-Didn't work it
5
24%
Tired it-Regret it
1
5%
 
Total votes : 21

Postby Sap » Wed Feb 21, 2007 4:43 pm

Jessi - hana was staying up really late for a long time too, and then I started doing the bedime routine at her feeding before that (at 8 instead of 12) and it worked! at 9 weeks she started goingtown at around 10 (instead of 1) and now she is usually sound asleep by 9! At 7:30-8 she starts getting hungry and rubbing her eyes, so she sort of puts herself to bed now if we're not paying attention. It might be worth moving her "bedtime", even if it's just a nap for the first few weeks, she'll gradualy get used to it.
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Postby melissasue » Wed Feb 21, 2007 8:20 pm

Sophie always falls asleep around 6. She wakes up ready to party between 7 & 8. She's usually ready for bed for the night at 10. She's a night owl!!
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Postby ddpaints » Thu Feb 22, 2007 5:29 am

She didn't have colic, but did go through a "whitching hour" for 3 hours almost every night for the first 5 weeks. Nothing helped. Half the time DH was't home. She cried, I cried, it was horrible, but for me it was better to hold her as she cried than to let her cry alone, even if it was just holding her hand while she was in her crib.
It is not fair in anyway to compare 3 hrs a night for 5 weeks to 12 to 16 hrs a day and night for 5 months and my Dh was in another state from Mon morning to Fri night. I never let my son CIO during that time . First of all he was too little and second he needed me. The only time I had peace was when he was nursing. Now that he is older and can sleep through the night ( I know this because he has done it on his own before) I felt it ok to let him cry for awhile. I get to a point that I hate posting on here because I get attacked because I'm not doing things the way everyone thinks it should be done. I am a good mother and I love my son. Just because I get tired and frustrated and feel it is in both our best intrests that he CIO doesn't change that.
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Postby melissasue » Thu Feb 22, 2007 7:34 am

dd, I don't think she was saying you were a bad mother. And you clearly stated that you waited until your son was older, and that you would not CIO if he was younger.

I know, but don't know how you feel with the colic. My nephew had it for a few months, so I know what my sister went through- but she had help. I can't imagine how hard those months were for you. You are not a bad mother, you're an amazing mother, so try not to let people's posts bother you!
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Postby amyrocha1 » Thu Feb 22, 2007 7:39 am

ddpaints-

first of all, I'm sorry you feel judged on this website. I think a majority of women aren't here for that reason. Unless people are trained behavioral therapist or researchers on the subject I take it with a grain of salt, especially if the information quoted is from the Internet.
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Postby ashlee » Thu Feb 22, 2007 7:50 am

I think the term "Cry it Out" is misleading. The methods espoused by Ferber, Weissbluth and others is to teach a baby to fall alseep on their own. This is to be done only when a baby is neurologically mature enough, and only if the parent is willing. Moreover, parents need to make sure all other needs are met; the baby is not hungry, wet, sick, etc. Every baby is different, and many may not need it. Other more colicky babies, like mine and DDpaints, may need more drastic action. Like ddpaints, my DD went through 4 months of many, many hours of crying, for no apparent reason. She was gaining weight well, healthy as a horse, etc. I think many women (none on this board, thankfully) are judgmental because they never had a healthy baby who cried hour upon hour, most of the day and night. It's easy to decry the CIO method when you have a tempermentally "easy" baby. Trust me, when your baby screams nomatter what you do, and you are sleep-deprived and alone, CIO starts to look really good. And in the end, I really believe it is better for the baby - she learns to fall alseep and stay asleep on her own. While my DD is still somewhat fussy during the day, she now sleeps through the night and awakes with a smile in her face. :D
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Postby Sap » Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:28 am

ddpaints wrote:It is not fair in anyway to compare 3 hrs a night for 5 weeks to 12 to 16 hrs a day and night for 5 months and my Dh was in another state from Mon morning to Fri night. I never let my son CIO during that time . First of all he was too little and second he needed me. The only time I had peace was when he was nursing. Now that he is older and can sleep through the night ( I know this because he has done it on his own before) I felt it ok to let him cry for awhile. I get to a point that I hate posting on here because I get attacked because I'm not doing things the way everyone thinks it should be done. I am a good mother and I love my son. Just because I get tired and frustrated and feel it is in both our best intrests that he CIO doesn't change that.


I'm sorry, I wasn't comapring, I was just stating my situation so people would know where I was coming from. Maybe if you feel so offended and the need to justify yourself you aren't entierly happy with your choices. I didn't bring attention to that, you did. I'm sorry you went through such a rough time, but I understand that every mother will do what they believe is right for their family, regardless what I think about it. Get off my back, you're doing the same thing you're accusing me of doing - attacking me for what I do.
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Postby ddpaints » Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:44 am

I did not attack you for what you did. I feel that every mother has a right to do what they want with thier child but everytime someone askes for an opinion and I tell them what my situation is or was the next thing I know someone is giving me heck about it because it's not what Dr. so and so said. Ie: sleeping with a bumper in his crib, sleeping on his tummy, allowing him to spend time in a walker or johnny jump up. If you want to go by what they say that is your business. I feel fine in the chioces I've made. My DS is happy and healthy like I'm sure your DD is. We have different styles and can not compare them because niether one of us has walked in the other persons shoes. If your way works for you that is fine but as babyfever said until you spend countless days and nights with a screaming child that is never comforted please don't judge me.
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Postby Sap » Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:51 am

ddpaints wrote: please don't judge me.


I'm NOT judging you

From my first post:
all babies are different

You know your baby, you know what he/she needs, and you'll be able to tell if CIO is right for your family


From my second:
I understand that every mother will do what they believe is right for their family, regardless what I think about it


If you feel judged that's from your own insecurity, not from anything I've said. Please don't take what other people have said to you out on me, it's not fair.

ETA: Sorry for responding so strongly. I know what it's like to feel judged in your decisions, I get it ALL the time from ALL sides, I understand, and I DON'T do it. I share information, I share what worked for me, I even share my oppinions because I feel just as strongly about my parenting deciions as you do. I don't expect you to do things the same way I do, I'm not in your family, you are. I'm sorry for the miscommunication and I hope you find support and unerstanding for your decisions.
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Postby fingersxd » Thu Feb 22, 2007 10:42 am

DS doesn't particularly like taking naps in his crib either. I'm just now really starting to work on it, so we will see how it goes. I know that CIO is hard. Dh and I ultimately decided to do a modified version of it to get him to go down at night. It was really rough the first two nights, but now he goes down without a fuss. It took us about 5 days before he would go to sleep without any crying.

Now my dh is adament that i work on the nap situation because I cannot get anything done during they day because I have my sweet little baby asleep in my arms. This is only my second day of really trying to get him to nap in the crib. He fussed a bit this morning for about 10-15 minutes and then fell asleep. His fussing never escalated to a full out cry, so I'm confident that we will be successful in getting him to sleep on his own in his crib for naps.

Sorry I don't have much helpful advice but I am struggling with the same thing. Hopefully our little ones will be champion nappers before too long.
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Postby fingersxd » Thu Feb 22, 2007 11:44 am

Sorry that first nap was so rough. I'm glad to hear that the second one was much better!
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Postby fingersxd » Thu Feb 22, 2007 11:45 am

How long did she nap?
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