Non-Spankers, when did your LO start hitting?

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Non-Spankers, when did your LO start hitting?

Postby MrsMartin » Sat Jun 04, 2011 6:52 pm

My son is 15 months old today and intentionally hit me this morning and said "no". I have never hit him, and he doesn't do anything for me to say no to. DH has left him with two different sitters and before I start thinking that they (or DH) were hitting him and saying no I am wondering if it is just something that kids will eventually do without being provoked :D TIA!

Edited to fix typo.
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Postby tufjewel » Sun Jun 05, 2011 10:08 pm

Funny how you don't have to teach kids to hit. A child who was never spanked can be a hitter and a child who was spanked may never hit.

My son around 15 months decided to do the same thing and even though we do believe in proper spanking (not abuse and not in anger) we don't start until 2. Anyway, what I did was very firmly tell him no and put him down and walked away from him showing him that it was not proper behavior. He has only done it to me that one time but sometimes he hits when he gets excited, just out of his excitement and not out of anger or being mad. He will run around when company gets here and then sometimes walk over and smack them. ha. I have to explain that he should hug them and not hit them. Silly boy.
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Postby Nikkijames » Fri Jun 10, 2011 5:30 pm

We don't spank and harley smacks at me sometimes. :roll: I fully believe that spanking increases aggression in children, but that doesn't mean a child who isn't spanked will NEVER hit.
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Postby stobie1 » Tue Aug 02, 2011 8:49 pm

I think all children have the urge to hit a one time or another when angry or frustraited but i spank and use time out depending on the severity of the action i believe spare the rod spoil the child alot of teens these days just need a good whippin! but i dont like spanking much if a child responds well to time out good for them!
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Postby NotBarbaraBush » Wed Aug 03, 2011 5:02 am

We don't spank and it's very rare that DD will hit/swat. She doesn't even hit like if she is mad or frustrated, it's more of a "i'm not paying attention to what I'm doing". I do have a pincher though.
I remind her that we don't pinch while showing her how to be gentle (rubbing her hand on the spot where she pinched). If she keeps doing it then I remove myself. I'm not going to allow myself to be pinched.

The very rare once or twice DD has hit hard, she hugged us directly afterward like she remembered it was wrong. She tries to make it right. :hb:
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Postby desies » Wed Aug 10, 2011 9:16 pm

DS has been through hitting, pinching and biting phases when he's frustrated. I feel that toddlers don't have the impulse control or communication skills to properly communicate their frustrations (without practise) and it usually comes out as hitting, pinching, biting, tantrums etc....regardless of whether you spank them or not. However we don't spank and try to acknowledge the feelings LO is having. When he hits once I'll gently take his hand and make sure we have eye contact and explain that hitting is wrong, that I know he's frustrated and explain why we're doing what we're doing. If he does it a second time I will ask if he needs a time-out and if he does it again he will get a timeout for 1 minute. If he continues doing it regularly I'll threaten time out on the first offence.
I think different kids respond to different forms of discipline and time-outs work really well for us right now. DS sits quietly in time out until the timer goes off and we exlain why he's there, then we have hugs and he says sorry. The funniest part is when he gets off his time out chair and puts it away.
I don't really know how much of the explainations he understands but we never hit or raise our voices. I don't think bad behaviour is a sign of a bad kid, just an opportunity to teach them about their emotions and proper social conduct.
I was just thinking today how DS hasn't had a time-out in weeks. He has reached out to pull my hair when I've picked him up from an activity but he lets go before he pulls and gently strokes it instead. Something is sinking in :D
Good luck
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