Advice please?!

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Advice please?!

Postby baileyra » Thu Dec 13, 2007 7:17 am

We almost have our minds made up but we're a young couple expecting our first child and we live about an 1 and half away from my DF parents and my grandmother. My mother passed away when I was 16 and my father lives in VA (8 hours away)...We are still trying to decide whether or not to move down to Charleston (near family) or to continue to build a life here in (Columbia). I'm not crazy about his family and there is always drama and I have a bad feeling my child (their 2nd grand) will not be treated the same as the first-grand since our child will be biracial. Some part of me feels like moving back to Charleston would be a step back BUT at the same time I know it's ALOT of work to take care of a newborn and I know I'll need the help. My grandmother already offered to help out with childcare but honestly that would be my only reason for moving back. So I was wonder what you ladies would do or for the mothers who have done it on their own and how they worked out childcare. We aren't in the position for me to be a stay at home mother and I know the only other option is to stay up here in Columbia and take my child to daycare but I'm so scared of all the horror stories you hear.

ALSO (sorry) we're thinking about buying a house...our lease is up in May and our baby is due in July. When do I start looking as in taking real action towards getting a house? And how does that whole process work?
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Postby annofm1 » Thu Dec 13, 2007 7:55 am

Hey neighbor! We moved from Columbia to Greenville about 4 years ago. We planned on having kids and wanted to be close to DH's family. My mother passed away 10 years ago, and my dad also lives in VA. Funny huh?

Anyway, there WILL be drama. I can definitely attest to that. Had I known what it would be like, I would have stayed in Columbia. We were selling our house in West Columbia, and deciding whether to move out by the lake or upstate to be near the in-laws. We moved upstate, and it's been drama ever since.

I'm sure that whatever you decide to do, it will be challenging. But just remember, a child will amplify whatever issues you have already.

As far as shopping for a house goes, first look for an agent. They pretty much will do all the work. But make sure you like them, since you will be paying them a hefty fee.
Ann- Hypothyroid & Endometriosis Me- 37, DH-38
DD- 5, DS- Born 5/28/07 w/ Hemophilia (stroke @ birth & 5months with severe brain damage)
Angel @ 34wks 9/25/98
Angel @ 9wks 5days 7/14/06
http://eliahjames.blogspot.com/
http://sensoryintegrations.com/

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Postby baileyra » Thu Dec 13, 2007 9:00 am

Wow, what a small world! So how did you do it? This whole pregnancy is bittersweet. I really wish she (my mom) was here to experience it with me...but I guess all things happen for a reason!

About how much should I expect to pay a Realtor?

That's my biggest fear is moving back there and completely regretting the entire thing. I know the help from my grandma would help ALOT but I'm sure people do it all the time, right?
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Postby annofm1 » Thu Dec 13, 2007 9:34 am

I still think about my mom, wanting her to see my kids. But you just have to think she is looking down and watching them grow (and of course judging how you are raising them) :wink:

It's definitely a hard decision to make to move. But don't make the assumption that things will be better anywhere else. It doesn't always work that way, unfortunately. Remember, it's hormones working too. It's the nesting instinct. It makes you want to cut your hair, move, start over fresh, clean out closets, and other crazy stuff. Just give it some time. And daycares around there aren't so bad. Some have long waiting lists, so make sure you start looking now. What side of town are you on?

When we were looking for a house to buy, I started by looking at realtor.com. I found our current house on there, and just called the listing agent to see it. Typically, you can expect to pay an agent 3% of the selling price. With the current market though, you should be able to get that fee, and closing costs, paid by the seller.
Ann- Hypothyroid & Endometriosis Me- 37, DH-38
DD- 5, DS- Born 5/28/07 w/ Hemophilia (stroke @ birth & 5months with severe brain damage)
Angel @ 34wks 9/25/98
Angel @ 9wks 5days 7/14/06
http://eliahjames.blogspot.com/
http://sensoryintegrations.com/

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Postby annofm1 » Thu Dec 13, 2007 9:40 am

Also, I have a good friend that lives in Harbison, who is a real estate agent. I will be happy to give you her number, and she can give you the scoop on how things work. Let me locate it, and I will PM you.
Ann- Hypothyroid & Endometriosis Me- 37, DH-38
DD- 5, DS- Born 5/28/07 w/ Hemophilia (stroke @ birth & 5months with severe brain damage)
Angel @ 34wks 9/25/98
Angel @ 9wks 5days 7/14/06
http://eliahjames.blogspot.com/
http://sensoryintegrations.com/

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Postby baileyra » Fri Dec 14, 2007 5:35 am

That sounds great!! Thank you so much!
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Postby annofm1 » Fri Dec 28, 2007 4:09 pm

So sorry! I haven't forgotten about you. Holidays

Anyway, I will PM you with my friends info.
Ann- Hypothyroid & Endometriosis Me- 37, DH-38
DD- 5, DS- Born 5/28/07 w/ Hemophilia (stroke @ birth & 5months with severe brain damage)
Angel @ 34wks 9/25/98
Angel @ 9wks 5days 7/14/06
http://eliahjames.blogspot.com/
http://sensoryintegrations.com/

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Postby MommyKristy » Fri Dec 28, 2007 6:37 pm

We looked for several months for a house to buy and ended up building instead, but I just wanted to let you know that even when the housing market was good, out realtor took his fee from the seller not from us. That's the best thing about buying a house. Usually sellers have a certain percentage built in for their own realtor and if you use one when buying that house, the 2 realtors split that extra percentage. That's how our realtor explained it to us anyway. Good luck with your decision and new house!!
Charles Grady born on May 24, 2008 at 2:59pm. 7lbs. 10oz. 20in long
Matthew born May 14, 2010 at 2:00am. 8lbs. 12oz. 20.5in long
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Postby Leessa » Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:49 pm

I say hold off on buying a house until you've had your baby, so that you can change your mind if you need to about staying or moving closer to family. I did the opposite, and I have been so homesick. My parents live 9 hours away from me, and DH has all his family here (I just had a big blowout his mother). My mom doesn't work, and I wish I hadn't bought a house now, so that I could move closer to my parents, and my mom could take care of my daughter. I dread the fact that I have to leave my baby with complete strangers. My husband does not understand me. So just a piece of advice, take it slow. Wait until you have your baby so that you can have some leverage if you change your mind. I wish you the best of luck!!
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