Your baby DOES come with a manuel!

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Your baby DOES come with a manuel!

Postby Sap » Sun Feb 18, 2007 8:51 pm

When I was pregnant I was petrified! I had been with babies and friends of mine had babies, but I still didn't know if I could do it. It was so intimidating to think that I was going to be in charge of this whole life and she would be depending on me for all of her needs at first. I was so scared that I'd mess her up completely.

I kept hearing people say "These things don't come with manuels" and that didn't make it any better! How would I know what she needed? Is it all just guesswork? It was scary!

When Hana was born it didn't get any better. She would scream and fuss and we couldn't tell what was wrong with her. Then when she was 4 days old we came home from the hospital, and I started just holding her all day. She would sleep on my chest or beside me in her bassinet, or in bed with us. I held her or carried her in the wrap when she was awake. She would look at me when she woke up, and I'd look at her, and it was just wonderful.

Thats when I started notcing things. She'd start sucking on her hands, then a few minutes later she'd start fussing, then a couple minutes after that she'd be crying from hunger. So I started feeding her when she started sucking her hands, and she didn't cry to be fed.

Then I noticed sometimes while she was eating she'd just stop for a minute, go stiff, start eating again, then start crying. After a few tries (and a leak) I realized this meant she needed to be changed, so I started chainging her halfway through a feeding, and she didn't cry to be changed.

Often when she was eating she'd start wiggling and squirming around as she ate, then she'd grimace, and a minute or two later she'd scream and burp and spit up. I started burping her when she would start wiggling, she stopped screaming. I started burping her more frequently and she stopped spitting up as much.

Now at 3.5 months she is awake much more and loves to play. She loves playing so much that sometimes she ignores that she's tired until it gets to thepoint where she's overtired. She starts crying, tenses up, and it takes at least half an hour to get her to sleep. If I pay attention while she's playing, I notice when she starts rubnbing her eyes. She also has "stork bites" on her eyelids that get darker when she's tired. When I notice those signs I swaddle her and rock her, or put her in the wrap, and she goes to sleep with no tears.

I've also learned that Hana is a very touch oriented baby. If she's laying beside me on the couch or bed she'll wiggle herself so her foot or hand is touching me. When she's playing by herself she wants me close enough to grab periotically, even if I'm not interacting with her. When I hold her or rock her to sleep she moves her hand to any skin she can find, usually my neck or chin. Knowing this need, I can keep her content just by keeping her close, even when she's wanting to play by herself (which she signals by looking away from me or not touching).

Knowing my baby like this, I anticipate her needs, but at the same time she communicates them to me. We have a language that I can share with others caring for her, so long as they're observant. Hana is content and rarely cries, only as a last resort when her communication doesn't work (either I'm not paying attention or she's over tired).

This is just my experience. Your baby will be different, but you can still learn to read the signals. You are with your baby from the time he/she is born. You're there when she wakes, sleeps, poops, smiles, sneezes, kicks, everything. You are her comfort, food source, mode of transportation, hygene service, bed, and social life. You have at least the frist few weeks with your baby, take advantage of that time. Watch him (you'll find that's all you want to do sometimes anyway). Teach your partner the language and let them connect. Let your baby tell you what he needs and life will be much easier for both of you.
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Postby Mama27 » Mon Feb 19, 2007 2:15 am

Thanks for such wonderful advice - it is very reassuring!
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Postby tinybud » Thu Feb 22, 2007 6:12 am

Cool post Sap!
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Postby ZiggyGirl » Wed Feb 28, 2007 10:34 pm

Amen, Sap! Everyone comments on how happy Jennifer is and asks what my trick is. I just tell them I know my baby and pay attention to what she's telling me.
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Postby happy-lady » Fri Aug 17, 2007 6:37 pm

This definitely is reasurring. Thanks so much.
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Postby Kellymomma » Fri Aug 31, 2007 5:18 am

Does your post include instructions on what to do with never ending night crying sessions, that seem to not follow any reason.
Kelly- 27 DH- 31 2 dogs & 2 cats.....we are gonna have a zoo!

Baby Jared born 07-26-07!!!! 8 lbs 4 oz at 36 wks 1 day (due date 08-21-07)
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Postby happy-lady » Sun Sep 02, 2007 5:05 pm

Aaah, Kelly, I'm sorry you're going through that.
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Postby Brettys_Girl » Fri Apr 04, 2008 12:39 pm

I agree with this post about a manual being provided for ur baby.
A friend videotaped an Oprah episode for me that had a baby cry expert on there showing the different types of cries & what they mean.. It was for the most part a godsend.

Does your post include instructions on what to do with never ending night crying sessions, that seem to not follow any reason


I see that this post was AGES ago so I hope ur LO is doing better now.. unfortunately there are times when a baby cries for long periods of time & there is no way to consol them.. Ugh Colic gotta love it.

What we did with Blake which seemed to have worked is get him off the Gripe Water & put him on this natural stuff from Brauer's called Brauer's Colic Relief & he is like 90% better :) it has mag phos in it as one of the main active ingredients & nothing artificial that I can tell.
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Postby INM80 » Fri May 23, 2008 7:22 am

as the new mom of a 4 day old, i wanted to bump this thread up to the top of the list...i felt like i was reading about my baby to a tee, from each step. awesome advice
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Postby blue-eden » Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:00 pm

I don't know who found this post after so long but I recall when Sap first posted it and her insight amazed me, then and now.

I was so excited to see her name up there, I was hoping she had come back to repost it. TWW lost a gem when she left. :(
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Postby Blakes_Mummy » Sat Jun 13, 2009 6:21 am

BUMP!
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Postby Syrahfina » Thu Jun 25, 2009 11:05 am

Awesome advice! Thanks for bumping this back to the top of the list!
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Postby Emmo » Sun Aug 09, 2009 6:46 pm

When I read the subject, I thought the post would be about the book, "HAppiest Baby on the Block".
That was my manual at first!!!!!!! Lol. It was a godsend

I agree about noticing the cues, though!
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Postby KatieJo3 » Sun Aug 09, 2009 6:48 pm

I made this a sticky :D
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