Question to mom's of premie babies

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Question to mom's of premie babies

Postby ddpaints » Wed Jul 16, 2008 3:01 pm

My son was born at 35 1/2 weeks and was in the NICU for over 2 weeks during that time he was close to death and everyone (except me) in the family was starting to make plans according. He is a total mirical and as you can see from his pic is a very healthy happy toddler.
My question comes to those of you that have decided on having another child after a baby came early.
Did your next child come on time? Was it early? Did you have to face the same complications as the first one born early?
I'm expecting #2 and just wanted to prepare myself in case I end up spending time in the NICU a second time. It will be much harder in some ways since my poor son won't want to be there all day and night like we did with him but it will be a bit easier already knowing how awesome of a hospital it will be in and also knowing a lot of the nurse staff from before.
P.S. there were absolutly no complications in my pg and my water just spontaniously broke with no contractions.
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Postby stacey0513 » Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:28 pm

Well I just had my first and he was born at 30 weeks. He is almost 8 weeks old and should be home in a few days! I have a while until I start thinking about a second but I am TERRIFIED of having another and this happening again. My son was delievered early because of placenta issues which apparently is more common then we thought. So sorry that I was NO help but I just wanted you to know that you are not the only one that is scared!!! Good luck and I am praying you have a healthy baby at 40 weeks!!!
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Postby ddpaints » Thu Jul 17, 2008 3:40 am

Let me start by saying Thank You and that I am so sorry that you had to go through this. You have been in there a lot longer than I was and I know those 2 weeks seemed like forever to me.

According to the neonatolgist, all of the other Dr.s and every nurse I talked to my son's recovery was nothing less than a mirical and even more of a mirical because it happened in about a week and a half. We have a Dr in our family that was talking with the neonatoligist and I just learned at my son's second b-day party that she had prepared the rest of the family to get ready for a funeral. I also just found out from my MIL that my husband had called her and said he didn't think ds was going to make it and that he wanted him burried beside his dad. Finding this out after you are already pg again really hits home that it could happen again.
I had absolutly no problems the first time other than I had some spotting issues at the beginning but that was due to him implanting hard and bruising my uterus. With this one I didn't even get anything not even tinged tp. Of course I wasn't looking either it was kind of a surprise because we had just decided to stop useing protection.
I'm hoping it was a fluke thing and this time will be different. Looking back I do know of some things that happened that this time I will tell my midwife about .I lost what I thought was my mucus plug about 2 weeks before the baby came and then the night he came it felt like his head was already coming out when I sat. I figured he was just getting into position and we had at least a couple more weeks to go. I also knew that if that was my mucus plug that doesn't always mean they are coming soon.
Thank you for your well wishes and I sure hope this one stays in until at least 37 weeks.
P.S. I noticed that your baby's b-day is exactly 1 day before my son's. Those late May boy's must be real strong fighters :D
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Postby Jamm » Thu Jul 17, 2008 6:15 am

Hi! Your son is absolutely adorable!!
I have had premies all 6 of my kids where early. My oldest was born at 36 weeks and came right home with me, my 1st set of twins where born at 34 weeks and my son was in the hospital for 2 weeks my daughter a month. My 3rd pregnancy was at 32 weeks with my waters breaking and she was born 2 days after. She was in the hospital for exactly 30 days. My last set of twins, my water broke at 32 weeks and 6 days but they kept the them in until 34 weeks and 1 day. They spent about 1 weeks in the hospital. All of my babies are healthy and thriving now!! I know it sounds scary that all my kids where premies but from what my dr told me about having premies is it all depends on why your child was premature to begin with and if it could happen again. I know alot of women and a few on here who had premies and then went on to have full term babies. Some even had to be induced. I would voice your concerns to your midwife and make sure she tells you what to look for and be sure to tell her anything you notice that just dosen't seem right to you...kwim?
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Postby ddpaints » Thu Jul 17, 2008 6:55 am

Jamm,Thanks for the info and saying my son is cute. I think he is the most presious thing in the world but I'm his mom so I guess I'm supposed to think that.
I guess I will just be prepared for it to happen again. I did talk with the midwife because I was so afraid and stressed (enough that my blood pressure sky rocketed) that they would concider me high risk and I would get kicked out of the birth center and have to go back to a DR. I had a horrible experience with Dr.s with ds and so I don't want to go back and be stressed a whole pg with this one because of their rudness. She said it could happen or it could be full term. Since there was absolutly no complecations and I did everthing by the book and even more caustiously with ds they don't concider me high risk.
No one knows why it happened the way it did the first time. I think that is what bothers me the most. If I knew what I did to make him come early I wouldn't do it again. Everyone tells me it wasn't my fault but somehow I feel responsable for it. I will call them this time no matter how small I think it is or how much I think I'm bugging them :D They always answer my calls imideatly or at least withing 1/2 an hr of my call and they say they don't mind I just hate to bug if it doesn't seem relavent and at the time it didn't.
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Postby stacey0513 » Thu Jul 17, 2008 8:52 am

We have been VERY lucky with my son. I got the steriod shots two weeks before so he was only on a vent for 6 hours, CPAP for like 2 days and nasal canula for like a week. He was just small so that is why he has been there so long. It took him a little bit of time to catch on to bottle feeds but is doing GREAT!!! It has been a LONG road but I thank God EVERYDAY for him blessing my baby boy and giving him strength to pull through. He is truely my miricle and THANK GOD we were never in a situation like you where we thought he would not make it. But yeah my son was born on May 23rd which is my birthday, what a great gift from Heaven! :-)
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Postby Jamm » Thu Jul 17, 2008 6:33 pm

I completely understand about feeling responsible. But believe me its NOTHING you did!! Sometimes it just happens for what ever reason. With my children I believe god gave me premies to show me how strong a baby can be and help me be a stronger person.
My sister had a premie who was born at 33 weeks and her 2nd and 3rd baby where both born full term at 39 and 41 weeks!! So it really does happen and I believe its more common to go on to have full term babies.
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Postby PixieB » Fri Jul 18, 2008 2:38 am

I am intending on having another, though I know at least a few who decided not to after their prems. I must admit the thought of getting placenta previa (the primary cause of Taila's prematurity) again makes me sick in my stomach. Birth Centre midwives do tend to be more positive, at least from my experience. When hospitalised with Tali I got constant frowns from the doctors and the birth centre midwives all supported me in staying positive and keeping the frowning "worst case" in perspective.

It's good to be aware of the symptoms with PPROM and early labour. I don't know the actual stats for having repeat prems, but it's generally dependent on why you had a prem the first time around. I know some who've had several prems, and some who've gone from having a 32 weeker to a 36+4 weeker.

It's a really common stress for parents of prems. I frequent a forum called Lil Aussie Prems where we chat and meet parents who know the NICU journey and know the prem struggle. I'm sure there'd be US equivalent websites, but if you can't find one you're welcome to come to www.lilaussieprems.com.au
Talia Grace: born Friday 13th of July, 2007, at 27w4d gestation, 700g/1.5lbs. Nursed for 4 years
and Violet Joy: born Thursday 19th, VBAC waterbirth, 39w2d, 3.35kg/7lbs 6oz, still a booby monster, just shared it with her big sister for 18 months.
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Postby ddpaints » Fri Jul 18, 2008 5:19 pm

PixieB, thank you for your thoughts and also for inviting me to the other site. It's a scarey thought to think of having to be in the NICU again but it's also reassuring to hear that others have had babies after premies and went full term.
Jamm, thank you for your kind words too. I know in my heart that I didn't cause it but in my brain it still says there must have been something. I guess time will tell. We had an u/s today and they baby was very wiggly and had a nice strong heart beat.It even measured 4 days earlier so it's extra big. They said my placenta was a bit low but because it's still real early it probably wasn't an issue.
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Postby dixiechicken » Sat Jul 19, 2008 8:05 am

I am not telling you this at all to scare you, but I had a *perfect* pregnancy, didn't even have morning sickness. I was past due and was induced, and my baby had to be care flighted to another hospital and spent 16 days in the NICU. (8lbs 12oz!) My point is, as scary as all of this is, we can't worry about what *might* happen. Yes, if there is something going on during your pregnancy, or a reason why the baby was premature, those are things to look out for in the next pregnancy. DH and I are really thinking about starting TTC again. Of course the thoughts of the NICU cross my mind, but the one thing I've really learned through my experience is I can worry all I want, but in the end, God has the ultimate control. He knows what is best, and He won't abandon me, whatever I'm going through. Believe me, the thought does make my stomach sick. In fact, my friend had twins in May, and one was in the NICU for a couple of days. When I walked in to see him, my knees actually buckled and I thought I was going to vomit. The *smell* of the NICU just hit me in the face and I kinda relived our experience in a few short seconds.

So, I wish you much luck with this pregnancy. As hard as it is, just try not to worry too much and enjoy it. It's such a precious time. You know your body, and now having already experienced it once, you kinda know what feels right and what doesn't. Just listen to your heart--it was NOT your fault!
Jennifer(35) Curtis(34) Wade--5/22/07
"officially" diagnosed with CP 4/22/08
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Postby ddpaints » Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:24 pm

dixiechicken , I understand what you are trying to say and yes we can do everthing just right and still have problems.
The thing is I wasn't prepared the first time and I'm just one of those people that plans for everything good or bad. I don't worry and fret and make myself sick. It doesn't consume my every thought and very rarely does the thought cross my mind more than once a week (if that). I just want to be prepared ie: have my mother in law come earlier so I have someone to watch ds#1, make sure my husband remembers to turn his phone on sooner since he is always away from home most of the week, have my bags packed and a different plan so I don't get railroaded in the hospital like I did the first time when I was planning a nice quiet birth center birth without beeping machines and bright steril room. It's not that I'm spending all my time worrying about the what if's it was more of a question to those who have had multiples to see how likely the what if's would be twice. If it happens it happens but this time I don't want to wing it. That was just too unsettling for me. :D
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Postby PixieB » Tue Jul 22, 2008 3:36 pm

As a note, your sense of smell is hardwired direct to memory. Smells are more likely to trigger off flashbacks because it bypasses conscious thought and association. Every time I've been to the hospital since Talia's come home, the smell of the hand soap there has given me twinges so much stronger than any visual stimuli. I did get one twinge re-watching a video where I heard the beep of the machine her canulas were plugged into, but that's been it.

It's good that you're working at being aware of the risks. Knowing means you're not caught off guard and that you'll have understanding to back up your decisions, and make more sense of what the doctors are saying. For me personally, I need the info to use to combat the docs constant use of worst-case-scenario.

DH and I will be TTC early next year. It is a bit scary, and I don't know how ready I am, but I know I want my children to be fairly close together. I don't know how I'll cope with the next pregnancy, but don't be surprised if I send you a pm or lurk in your due date list.

And we're allowed to have panic attacks and doubts even if they are irrational. You're a mum, it's in your nature to worry for your children and your family. And a NICU baby puts a lot of strain on a family, more than any can really understand without going through it themselves. The trick is to know when to squash those fears and when to let them out (ie. asking loads of questions of your midwife).
Talia Grace: born Friday 13th of July, 2007, at 27w4d gestation, 700g/1.5lbs. Nursed for 4 years
and Violet Joy: born Thursday 19th, VBAC waterbirth, 39w2d, 3.35kg/7lbs 6oz, still a booby monster, just shared it with her big sister for 18 months.
http://pics.livejournal.com/littlebutto ... y/0000scpq
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Postby ddpaints » Wed Sep 24, 2008 1:34 pm

Just wanted to update that I found an answer to my question. They are going to have me take weekly progesteron shots and at 28 weeks give me steroid shots to help develop her lungs just in case the progesteron doesn't work. This makes me feel a bit better because after working on horse breeding farms for years and using this same treatment for mares that had problems holding pregnancys, with great success I'm all on board. Just in case anyone is thinking about having a second but is worried about an early pg again.
All information can be found on the March of Dimes site and the progesteron they are using is called 17P. Good luck to all and I'll be sure to post how the treatment went.
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Postby curteisye » Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:27 am

I am glad you got an answer to your question. DS was born at 35wk due to PROM and I was very fortunate that he never had to spend even a day in the NICU. I worried too about getting pg again and having another premature infant and now as it would seem I am pg with twins so I am almost definitely looking at premie delivery and a good posibility of NICU stay this time. I was told they were going to take a wait and see approach regarding the use of P17 and I am very scared about the thought of doing the steroid injects as I happen to be allergic to progesterone. The last time I had it orally as a teen I broke out in head to toe hives. I will have to actually go to the hospital, be premedicated, and stay for very close obsevation to ensure my throat doesn't swell shut if I have to take the steroids.
I did want to say though that NOT ALL DOCTORS are negative. Mine is very supportive and the high risk doctor that I was sent to for evaluation does not even consider me high risk unless something else crops up in the future weeks. I thought for sure I would be told I would have to have another c section and I was even told there was no reason I couldn't try for a VBAC.
Am I scared? Absolutely. But I know if nothing else I will be monitored a lot closer than I was with DS. I also know that I will be put on bedrest this time well before my due date. I think in my case this will help me go as long as I can.
I hope that the plan they have set out for you gives you some peace and that your pregnancy does just fine.
Oh, also on another note, both my mother and my sister had a premature delivery and none of their other deliveries were premature.
Carrie Me 36 DH 34 DS#1 6 ; DS#2&3 born 3/11/09. Lost DS#3 to SIDS 10/14/09 - I miss my angel every day.
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Postby ddpaints » Wed Oct 15, 2008 12:48 pm

curteisye
Thank you. I'm feeling a lot better knowing that we are going to do at least something. I really wanted to try the 17P and was happy when the Birth Center's attending Dr said "Oh yes she would be a great cadididate for it". I'm pretty sure that they don't do it for twins because there had to be 3 criteria before you qualified for it and haveing a single pg was one of them. It's too bad that you have such a bad reaction to the steroids. I was talking ot a nurse that drew blood from me and she said that with her twins she got it at 28 weeks and they came early and never stayed in the hospital. That spurred me on to ask about that for me. I just want to do everything in my power to prevent any early births. The midwives are all betting that I will go late this time. I wish I was as confident as them.
From what I have found on 17P it only has a 1/3 succes rate of helping women carry to term. The good news was it made almost all the women go at least 1 week longer so if nothing else that's all I'm hoping for is one more week. (I'd take 2 if I could but 1 will make me a bit happier) :D
oh BTW it stings like heck when they put it in and it stings for the rest of the day too. Ugh the things we do for our children we should be given Sainthood for it.
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