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Postby hoping4another » Sat Jul 26, 2008 9:21 pm

Great posts ladies. I find comfort in reading them and knowing that others have been in similar shoes as we are.
It is hard when people say, "everything is going to be okay". I know, deep down that they mean well.... but we don't know that for sure. What if everything is not okay... So many people say that. I want to believe that too.... but we may have to deal with the reality of health problems that things may not be okay all of the time. It is hard to describe how I feel when I hear that. I know that people just don't know what to say sometimes.
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me: 32
DH:35
DS1: 5 years old
DS2: born 10-8-08
baby BOY #3 due Aug 31, 2010!!!
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Postby PixieB » Sat Aug 02, 2008 5:00 am

That picture of Wade is gorgeous! You can see that hint of impishness in his eyes and cheeks. I guess I'm just so used to looking past ventilators and monitor leads. I also adore the photos of PJ, yes the downs is clear on his face, but he's stunningly beautiful, those deep sincere adoring eyes!

I adore looking at photos of tiny prems with their CPAP caps and their funny skinny little bodies, once you're used to prem features you really do see the beauty in them and I love celebrating Talia's prem beauty.

I haven't yet forgiven that aunt, and am realising that I've never liked her much. She didn't want to see Talia until Talia was home and "healthy", she wanted to see the tiny newborn looking baby rather than the "confronting" little scrap of a thing, my scrawny little monkey imp of those early weeks and months. I'm irate at her for several inconsiderate selfish holier-than-thou lines though, and some rather offensive actions and decisions she'd made. I did however find it highly satisfying when Talia screamed blue murder whilst getting cuddled by that aunt, and settled perfectly when cuddled by my favourite aunt. :D :D Tali earned all the late night ice cream she wants when she gets older.... well maybe not but the thought is there. :twisted:

It's so important to celebrate every fragment you can. It's one of the very few tools we have to hand to beat back the doubts and worry. It's really worth reading the Ambiguous Loss article. There's a good deal of grief in our experiences. Yes it's prem focussed, but it's still really relevent with children with complications and disabilities too.
Talia Grace: born Friday 13th of July, 2007, at 27w4d gestation, 700g/1.5lbs. Nursed for 4 years
and Violet Joy: born Thursday 19th, VBAC waterbirth, 39w2d, 3.35kg/7lbs 6oz, still a booby monster, just shared it with her big sister for 18 months.
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Postby rtgirl77 » Wed Aug 20, 2008 10:55 am

Ignorant comments can get the best of us sometimes. My DD ended up being born at 33w5d. Thankfully, her delivery was healthy and she was decent sized but she had to spend two weeks in the NICU learning to eat. I went through some PPD and I'd cry everytime I had to leave her. One day when I was walking out of my house, my neighbor, who has twins, was outside. She was inquiring about the baby and I was telling her about the baby still being in the hospital. She said, "Well, the twins came home with me but I wish they'd had a little stay in the NICU. It was really hard trying to BF two babies and all you guys have to do is pump milk and then a nurse will feed her for you. I was just so overwhelmed." I was so astounded. Really? You think it would be better to be separated from your baby and have a nurse tell you when you can touch her and who can see her? You think it would be better to watch your baby force fed when she doesn't want to eat? You think it would be better to fall asleep at night knowing someone else is listening to your baby cry but there are no cuddles or love, just a cold environment? Whatever! But I just nodded and smiled and went on about my business and vented to DH later. People just don't know what to say sometimes and they end up saying totally ridiculous things!
Jennifer (32) DH (43) DD (10) DS (9) DD (1) and our latest edition born 7/16/09
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