Adoption Agencies?

Considering adoption? Meet others who are going through the adoption process.

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Adoption Agencies?

Postby Prinycesa07 » Wed Jul 15, 2009 10:08 am

I have a friend who is in a big mess.

Shes always been a bit unstable. She lives about an hr away from me so i dont see her very much. Anyhow, her parents abandoned her when she was young and she has lived with her aunt ever since. They got into a big fight and aunt kicked her out. She moved into a 1 bedroom apt with this lady she knew and her 2 kids, she slept in the laundry room on the floor. Very sad. Then she meets this guy and gets pregnant after a couple weeks.

So she gets into a fight with this girl and she kicks her out. Now shes living on the streets and says the shelters turned her away and the babys father has started hitting her. She eats once a day if that. She just went to the library to email me and ask me for help because she doesnt know what to do and wishes she would have gotten an abortion. Shes now 4 months pregnant though so that is no longer an option.

She mentioned adoption and i told her that is a great idea. Would she just call up an agency and they would help her out? As in house her somewhere and make sure she and the baby are healthy until she delivers? Does anyone know how the adoption process works?
Audrey Renee- 12/09/09
Owen Frederick- 4/8/11
Olivia Mae Noelle 12/25/14

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Postby SoCaliMom » Mon Jul 27, 2009 10:07 pm

It really depends on the type of adoption she wants to do and who she chooses to work with. Many agencies will help her to obtain food stamps, housing, or state health insurance to ensure that her baby has the right start. Being pregnant, she will probably qualify for these. If not, she can work with the agency to find adoptive parents who would consider paying some of her expenses. With an open adoption, there is quite a bit of leeway in terms of how formal things are, who helps pay for things, etc.

You obviously can't "pay" for a baby, but I know a birth mother who received a maternity clothing allowance, and a certain amount of money toward her living expenses (I didn't know her well enough at the time to ascertain how much she received and typically your state will cap what the mother can receive).

The other type of adoption is one done independently. Literally your friend can search online or through facilitators in your area who match adoptive parents and birth parents up. Many couples who have profiles posted online have a toll free number that birth mothers can call and speak directly to them. Then, the whole thing is arranged with lawyers, and she can help to set the parameters for the future.

I did an international adoption without trying domestic adoption first, so I don't know all of the details or legalities of the process here, but some relatives of mine are trying for a domestic adoption, and they have a website that birth mothers can visit with their profile, so birth mothers can learn about them and possibly call their 800 number if they choose to. So far they have gotten many hangup calls, so do tell your friend if she goes that route to not be shy; the people on the other end are just as nervous! :)

Best of luck to her! LMK if you have any other questions!
Tracy (32), DH (32), DS (10), DS (2)
Blocked tubes~Mom to #2 through adoption

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