WORRIES OF AN OLDER MOM

Place to talk and find support for high risk pregnancy

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WORRIES OF AN OLDER MOM

Postby Possum » Fri Oct 28, 2011 9:20 pm

I browsed this forum hoping there might be a lot more posts.... :( Any lurkers want to get things going a bit?

I'm an older mom-to-be so I'm naturally worried about having a healthy pregnancy. I'm taking good care of myself (so far) but there is a specter in the corner of the room.... (I'm 42 and 8 weeks pregnant at the moment, btw.)
Damn! He moved again! Crafty, sly fellow, that specter....!

Just wondering about other older mom's experiences and decisions about screening and diagnostics? And "news-sharing" with families....?

I've read about the quad screenings and some of the other screening procedures as well as CVS and Amnio.

I haven't yet had the courage to talk to Sweety about diagnostics. I know he's said he would not care if the child had Down's syndrome (that's the bigger risk). I'm sure he's telling the truth.

What are everyone's thoughts? I find it hard to imagine going through the entire pregnancy waiting to know about these things and worrying. I guess I don't really think I could terminate (or would want to) but I admit I suspect I might be sad if we find out our child will have special challenges (like Down's). I guess a lot of this is I can't imagine not blaming myself for them -- it's my egg after all.

We're planning to tell the grandparents in mid-December (it's a trip) but now I am second guessing that. I don't know how to face telling them good news and then updating them with news they will probably view as bad news.... I don't think we will be far enough along for any accurate testing at that point. (The child will actually be younger than my father's only GREAT grandchild but will be the first grandchild for my sweetheart's parents).

Any thoughts from moms who've been there and made some of these decisions about:

1) diagnosing or not (and which - CVS, amnio - other things)?

2) whether you considered termination and how you thought about this over time?

3) what happened in your pregnancy and how it worked out?

4) whether you would change any of your decisions in reflection?

5) how you shared the news of your (lol) high risk pregnancy and when?

6) how you shared some difficult health news about your baby and/or pregnancy with your extended family?

7) if you had any disagreement, conflict, or lack of support with your partner (if applicable) about these sorts of concerns?

So anyway, looking forward to hearing thoughts from all you 'experienced' (lol) moms!

--Take Care

--Possum
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Postby LaraE » Sat Oct 29, 2011 7:06 am

I just had my DD and I'm 41yrs old.

Any thoughts from moms who've been there and made some of these decisions about:

1) diagnosing or not (and which - CVS, amnio - other things)? I declined all of the diagnostic screenings and tests during my pregnancy.

2) whether you considered termination and how you thought about this over time? I never considered it.

3) what happened in your pregnancy and how it worked out? My pregnancy was totally normal, no complications, except my baby was breech and had to be delivered by C-sect but that had nothing to do with my age. My baby was born perfectly healthy.

4) whether you would change any of your decisions in reflection? I wouldnt change any decision I made

5) how you shared the news of your (lol) high risk pregnancy and when? We shared with immediate family right away (5weeks) and with everyone else after a few ultrasounds (10 weeks).

6) how you shared some difficult health news about your baby and/or pregnancy with your extended family? N/A

7) if you had any disagreement, conflict, or lack of support with your partner (if applicable) about these sorts of concerns? None

Best of luck to you on a healthy pregnancy![/b]
Lara (42) + Chris (30)
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Postby äiti » Sat Oct 29, 2011 8:33 am

I am not your age yet, I'm 35. But remember that the odds go up for downs, but not to the point of 50/50 or any terrible odds like that.

I have known some women to have babies at your age and all was well. One started at 40 with twins, and then another daughter at 42, all healthy, no unusual complications, she even did a vbac in the 2nd pregnancy.

I know it's not what you were asking, but I was hoping it'd help you feel better.
Amber - 39, DS - 18

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Postby taffy75 » Tue Nov 29, 2011 6:13 am

1) diagnosing or not (and which - CVS, amnio - other things)? I was 35 when I had DS2, we declined all tests. Not having insurance to cover was part of it but that was just the decision we made.

2) whether you considered termination and how you thought about this over time? Never considered it.

3) what happened in your pregnancy and how it worked out? It was healthy for the most part, although I did develop GD in the third trimester. I have a strong family history of Type 2 and of course was 35 so I was considered high risk. I had ultrasounds every 4 weeks to check on growth, initially monitored sugars 4x/day and controlled it with diet. I met with a special diabetes group and faxed them my logs once per week. Eventually I was able to monitor sugars 2x/day and never needed insulin. DS2 was born healthy at a normal weight, although he had low blood sugar 2x, easily treated with extra nursing and formula, he never needed NICU time.

4) whether you would change any of your decisions in reflection? I wouldn't change a thing.

5) how you shared the news of your (lol) high risk pregnancy and when? We shared with immediate family at 4 weeks (going to Buffett and everyone noticed my declining beer so we had to share) and others after the first ultrasound (9 weeks). My doc's office did not consider anyone high risk simply because they were 35 and over though - only if there would be some other complicating factor (GD, multiples) so initially I wasn't high risk.

6) how you shared some difficult health news about your baby and/or pregnancy with your extended family? When I found out I had GD I just told them and what it entailed, really wasn't too big a deal.

7) if you had any disagreement, conflict, or lack of support with your partner (if applicable) about these sorts of concerns? DH was supportive with following the diet and he followed it too and lost weight, or he cooked something for himself that he would prefer instead.

Good luck, there are increased risks with age but it's not a definite. :)
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DS2: 4/10/11
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Postby Lizc0002 » Tue Nov 29, 2011 11:40 am

I am an older Mom, had my babies at 34, 37 and 39.

With the first being under 35 at the time I did no extra testing.

With the 2nd the 12-13 week nuchal US had just become available. I worked with a pretty well known high risk doctor and decided I would follow up with an amnio only if this test showed any abnormalities. I was frightened of an amnio because my first was born at 32 weeks due to PROM at 31 weeks so I did not even want to chance it. I did the same with my 3rd.

I like the way the OB presented it to me. Testing depends on what you plan to do with the info. If you would consider ending a pregnancy based on abnormalities then chorion villi sampling is usually recommended, that is the earliest testing that I am aware of. That was not an option for me so I opted to have the nuchal and go from there.

I had a scare with my 3rd that turned out to be just that. I was having monthly US to measure cervical length and they noted at about 28 weeks that his brain ventricles were measuring a bit outside of the normal range. I had to wait an entire month no knowing if my child perhaps had a fatal genetic disorder and I was horribly worried and upset that I was a 39 year old Mom (feeling like if i was younger this would not have happened) but it was all for naught as he is 100% normal.

Hugs, you are healthy chances are so good for you of having a perfectly normal pregnancy!

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Older and much sadder

Postby Possum » Tue Nov 29, 2011 6:40 pm

Well we decided not to cvs or amnio... because there is a new bloodtest that is actually diagnostic (not a screening). It's called the MaterniT21 and it sequences part of the baby's DNA from the _mother's_ blood.

We do not know about the results of that test yet. (We would not have terminated but I wanted to _know_.)

It does not really matter what those test results are now, because we went to the doctor today and the baby died. I was just barely in my second trimester. The doctor said it could have been a fetal heart abnormality or a chromosome issue. I'm 42 after all.

Pray for me. Now I guess I am waiting to lose the baby in body who is already gone in spirit. We are completely heartbroken and I am also afraid of what is to come.

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Postby photofashionista » Wed Nov 30, 2011 8:26 am

I am so sorry for your loss. That's so heartbreaking. :( I don't think your age was necessarily the reason for your baby's passing. I had 3 m/c's in my 20's. Sometimes the little ones just don't develop normally and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Hoping to see you back over here with your take home baby soon.

*big hugs*
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Katelyn Michelle born after 4 long years of TTC 9.27.10, 8 lbs 12 oz., 20.5 "
Everett Steven 6.20.12, 8 lbs 15 oz, 21"
Cole Thomas July 17, 2014 8lbs 12 oz 21"
Nov. 2015 :angel:
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Postby Kryssy » Sat Dec 10, 2011 5:37 pm

I agree with PP. Your age probably had little to do with it. I had 4 miscarriages when I was 29 and 30 and then a month later conceived our DS. DO not give up hope. It is hard but with time is is less painful. I will pray you get your take home baby.
Me: Kryssy 32
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DS: Born Aug. 30, 2012
DD: Born Dec. 12, 2013
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