The babymakers #3

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Re: The babymakers #3

Postby Clairebear » Fri Dec 07, 2012 2:51 pm

Still deciding on the details
Everyone here gets names n birthdates of their bubs but I want to be different so thinkin a song line or saying that is special to me
As for where on the body, no idea hahaha
I want to be able to show it off when I want to but cover it up easily if the situation calls for it.. Hmm
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Re: The babymakers #3

Postby Clairebear » Fri Dec 07, 2012 5:27 pm

Arrgh just when I thought DP had realized how sad and lonely he was making me feel he's gone and done it again!! 

He went out last night for "a few hrs" at 6:30 and kept telling me all night he'd b home soon.. It's now 11am and I last heard from him at 9 am when he said his phone died and he was about to leave to come home. 

Our city is small, you can get from one side to the other in 30mins, especially with no traffic. So again I have no idea where he is and no way to contact him. As far as I knew he was only 1 suburb away, 5 min drive, not 2+ hrs! 

If he's not home soon im taking charley and leaving for a while. 
Even writing this im crying, I love DP so much but I'm so sick of this, I need more then what he's giving me at the moment... I promised charley when she was born that she'd never be scared being made to listen to her parents arguing and that I'd never pack up and take her away from home because of an argument but I dont know what else to do..
Maybe then he might understand why I get so upset when I can't contact him. See how he likes coming home to an empty house 

So sad this is not like me.. Or DP .. I just don't know what's goin on
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Re: The babymakers #3

Postby Bouvgirl » Fri Dec 07, 2012 6:23 pm

Oh Claire - i'm so sorry to hear you're sad. You just have to do what you feel is necessary. Any news? :hugs:
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Re: The babymakers #3

Postby h0ping » Fri Dec 07, 2012 8:01 pm

Claire any news??? :hugs: :hugs:
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Re: The babymakers #3

Postby Clairebear » Fri Dec 07, 2012 11:27 pm

Hey ladies
Thank you

So charley n I went on a big walk and sat in the shade of a big tree for a while. Charley had a nap and mumma had a drink and we just relaxed together a while. My dad called and although I didn't want to, he got me to tell him what was wrong. DP sent me a txt saying hr fell asleep and he was sorry, I didn't reply. My dad called me back and told me he had called DP and had a word to him about his behaviour. And i spent about an hr txting with him, telling him how i felt, i was too angry to talk on the phone. Anyway long story short DP got home just in time to take charley for her photo shoot, but poor charley was so stressed and confused about the events of the day she wouldn't smile much for them so we are going again next week. DP is home now and charley and I are going out tonight :) when we are ready DP will pick us up and then stay home for the night. So hopefully we have a good night.

Thanks again ladies so nice to have somewhere to vent
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Re: The babymakers #3

Postby aaronsmummy » Sat Dec 08, 2012 3:48 am

claire - so glad you guys are working things out. :D feel free to vent all you like! as for tattoos...i design tattoos as a hobby! i think its a great idea to get something to represent charley, funnily enough i don't have a tattoo myself but as i'm an artist i get requests from friends to do their designs (the tattooist usually charges a lot, so i do their designs for free and they'll drop off a bottle of wine, or once i got a massage voucher for example - and i don't mind doing it completely for free to be honest as i enjoy it and it really takes me no time at all!) here's a design i've recently finished for my friend who has her own yoga business:
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pregnancy-wise i'm doing great - will update after doctors visit on tuesday if i work up the courage to ask about delivery!
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Re: The babymakers #3

Postby Bouvgirl » Sat Dec 08, 2012 5:06 am

wow i'm really impressed with your design Emily!

glad you managed to get your message across to DP Claire.

i'm off out for lunch with some friends and DH is looking after Eli - not for long though as i haven't expressed any milk!
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Re: The babymakers #3

Postby carak21 » Sun Dec 09, 2012 7:06 pm

Hello ladies!

Claire-sorry to hear about your cruddy night. Sounds to me like leaving for a bit may actually be what he need to realize how he's treating you. I don't know if you remember my past but I left and moved out for 8 months. I couldn't handle it anymore, the drinking partying was too much. When you start a family it's time to grow up an sadly it takes awhile for a man to grow. Mine is 34 and I think he is FINALLY(let's hope) done with his stupidity. But he also knows he isnt getting a second chance from me. As far as tattoos, I have thought about it but I think I'm done on that front. I love tattoos and I have 5, but I don't have anywhere else I would like to put on. I'm like you want to show them off yet want to be able to cover them up as well. I'm glad you guys got things settled and I hope you enjoy your night out but if he does it again don't stress about Charley right now, she doesn't understand yet but not seeing you stressed is way more important than her daddy messing with her schedule.

Rachel-have fun at lunch. It's always nice to get out even if it's not for long.

Emily- what a gorgeous design. My boss has designed two of my tattoos. Good luck at your appointment on Tuesday. And don't feel bad about asking, it's your body and your paying him to answer your questions. Be strong :)

Afm-had a busy weekend. Gosh I always feel busy. Had several birthday parties to go to and a family event :) had a good time. I tried last night to start putting Archer in the crib, it didn't work. I need some advice on getting him out of my bed lol. I know he doesn't understand yet but really he knows when I put him somewhere other than the bed. I want him to be in his crib and know that is his bed but the way im going it's not working. Also Archer got his first bottle today :( we were at a bday party so I pumped a bottle for the first time. I pumped 4 ozs but he only drank 2. Is that about right? It made me sad though, I don't know why really but it did and then even sadder when he took so well to it. I'm going to start bottle feeding weekly now but dh to feed him. Ah well. Any suggestions for the sleeping situation ladies?
Cara (28)
DH-Casey 36
DSS-Taylor-15
DS-Archer-1
DD-Aspen Claire born September 1st 7lb 1 oz

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Re: The babymakers #3

Postby aaronsmummy » Mon Dec 10, 2012 1:30 am

cara - sadly the only way is tough love...gotta be cruel to be kind sometimes and when it comes to sleeping that is just one of those cases. you have to be 100% sure you want him in the crib now though, because it won't work if you aren't consistant (like you sometimes still want him to co-sleep, that will just be confusing for him) so be certain about which route you're going or there will be a lot of stress over nothing! a lot of parents here like to co-sleep but me and DH wanted our own space so we made the decision for him to be in the cot from day 1 (v.easy for us because he was used to being alone in the incubator at hospital so never made a fuss). what you're going through sounds like when we made the transition from the cot being in our room to moving it to his own room (at about 6 months when he started sleeping through).

just be strong and stick to your guns - like i said the main thing is once you've made the decision not to fold if things get hard or you'll be taking two steps forward one step back, and confusing the little guy. basically you just have to leave him and let him cry it out for a few days and he'll learn 'ok there's no point in crying, this is where i sleep now'...it could take 3 days, it could take a week or two even, and there will be times when you'll want to give up - perhaps he has a few good nights and then starts crying again. just remember your long-term goal and the reasons you're doing it. he won't remember those few nights of crying in the long run, and he'll sleep so nicely if you make it past those initial stages and be strong.

i can't stress enough though, the main thing is not to mess the little one around and confuse him by sometimes letting him in your bed and sometimes trying to leave him. it just doesn't work, he won't understand why he has to be left at times and others mommy wants him in bed - so choose one or the other and with direction and consistency he will fall into the routine faster than you think!!

obviously there are exceptions like when you know your child is sick or teething or whatever the case may be, and you give them extra attention. just remember at those times too that after they're well again a little firmness will go a long way and things soon go back to normal...

oh, and you and DH MUST be on the same page too. teamwork!!

good luck!! :D
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Re: The babymakers #3

Postby h0ping » Mon Dec 10, 2012 9:11 am

OMG!!! I just spent 20 minutes typing a reply and lost it!!!!!!!! Stupid thing!!!!

Claire: I hope you and DP were able to talk and hopefully start working things out. As was already said sadly sometimes it takes guys a little while to “grow up” after starting a family but I do think (and hope!!!) DP will come around. Maybe you do need to “show him what he would be missing” if he doesn’t – by taking Charley for a day or two or whatever you feel is needed. Sometimes that’s all they need is a little wake up call to realize they don’t want to miss out…..It’s harsh but if it works it will be worth it!! And you and Charley don’t need all this added stress…..I hope things are going better though and know you can vent to us anytime!!!!! Keep us updated!!

Emily: Good luck at your doctors appointment. I wouldn’t be nervous about bringing up the birth – it is your body and you have a right to know what they are planning and to talk about your options and give your opinion!!! Let us know how it goes!!!

Rachel: Hope you had a nice time at lunch!!!

Cara: As far as Archer taking a bottle – yes 2 ounces is about right for his age. If you are going to offer a bottle sometimes you could make a few small bottles then if he is still hungry you can make another or (and everyone has their own opinion on this) know that BM does not “spoil” immediately…..Formula does but BM does not. I know everyone has their own thoughts on this but you can do some researching on line about it……And also know that bottles are easier for babies then the breast so a lot of babies do prefer the bottle but I think if you continue to offer both Archer will hopefully go back and forth with no problems. Kyle will take either no problem – and there are times (even in the beginning) that I have only nursed him once or twice over a few days and he still does well. I have been told that is not “normal” but it seems to him he does not care (which is great for me!!!!!!)
As far as the sleeping issue…..I agree with Emily – you have to make your decision and stick with it. And as harsh as it sounds you are going to have to let him “cry it out” until he gets it. I never co slept with DS1 but did have to teach him to fall asleep on his own (as infants they usually fall asleep while eating / being rocked whatever – but once they are 6 – 8 months old they sometimes can not fall asleep on their own) and I had to let him cry it out – I’ll tell ya it was one of the hardest things I had to do and I won’t lie – I sat in the other room crying listening to him cry and felt like the worst mommy in the world…BUT it was worth it in the end. You just have to remember – they are safe and ok (they are just wondering why things are changing) AND you are setting their sleep pattern for years and years (because if you want him sleeping in his own bed its best to learn it now and not when he’s 3 or 4 or…well you get my point)……AND it will get easier – each night for DS1 he cried less and less until he finally just didn’t cry at all……. It’s hard though but again worth it in the long run…..

Hope everyone else is well – sorry I wrote a book!!!!
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Re: The babymakers #3

Postby Bouvgirl » Tue Dec 11, 2012 10:41 am

hoping and emily - at what age did you start sleep training? Did you try before 6 months eg when putting them down to nap? Thanks!
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Re: The babymakers #3

Postby h0ping » Tue Dec 11, 2012 12:18 pm

Rachel: Do you mean getting them to fall asleep on their own (not falling asleep while rocking (being held) or nursing)???? If that is what you mean - with DS1 I started I believe between 6 - 8 months. Before that he would usually fall to sleep while being held or rocked or eating and I would lay him down - sometimes he would wake a little (but not fully) so would go right back to sleep. I don't remember a lot of details since it was so long ago but I want to say 6 - 8 months because by that time he had more of a "nap schedule" unlike our little ones at this stage that sleep when needed and sleep more during the day. And also when LO is 6-8 months old they are eating some solids so for example nap time - if they are eating solids you could feed lunch (solids) give a bottle or breast if needed then lay them down. If LO tends to fall asleep while "drinking" you could wait to change diaper until after they are finished - that will wake them up a little more then put them into the crib.
As I said to Cara it can be hard - they cry - BUT it is soooo worth it!!! DS1 never slept in my bed - except for the rare occasion when sick (really sick) and I only remember that happening a few times. So it's worth it in the end but it doesn't feel like it when your doing it!!

I hope this answers your question - if not let me know I am happy to offer any help I can!!!

AFM: Since the computer lost my long post yesterday I did not give a Kyle update........I ran out of time having to re type personals!!!!! Anyway - Friday the boys had their infusions at the hospital and I had also made Kyle an appointment with his doctor (since the boys doctor is an hour and 15 minutes away I have decided to make appointments for Kyle when we will be at the hospital for the infusions - then if I have concerns or questions we can see the doctor and only have to travel an extra 15 minutes - and if I don't need to see him I cancel the appointment.) to go over a few concerns. He checked on all my concerns and for the most part things are good :D the only thing that he mentioned was Kyle's weight. Kyle was seen on Nov. 21st and weighed just over 11 pounds - then Friday (Dec 7th) he had only gained 2 ounces since the visit in Nov. Both the doctor and I agreed that it wasn't too concerning yet since Kyle looks great, is eating well and is very happy....but he wants to keep an eye on it - so I had scheduled Kyle's 4 month check up for Jan. 4th (since we will be in town any way for the infusion) so the doctor said we will just see what his weight is at that time....so nothing too major - just have to try to fatten my little guy up a little!!!!!

Hope everyone is well!!!!

It's still quiet...................
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Re: The babymakers #3

Postby Bouvgirl » Tue Dec 11, 2012 12:34 pm

dt hanks Hoping - that is what I meant!
Sorrynot a long reply. One hand typing on tablet takes forever! Will try to give an update later. Thanks for the advice and go Kyle - hopefully he can fatten up a bit as you say!
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Re: The babymakers #3

Postby h0ping » Tue Dec 11, 2012 1:08 pm

Rachel: Glad I could help :D Any help I can give!!!! I understand about 1 handed typing lol!!!!
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Re: The babymakers #3

Postby aaronsmummy » Tue Dec 11, 2012 1:34 pm

hey ladies!!

rachel - we were v.lucky (or unlucky?!) with aaron, because of the first 2 weeks of his life in an incubator he really never had trouble being left alone to sleep. its sad in a way, thinking of how much time he spent out of our arms in a little plastic prison, but it did mean that he slept like a dream when we were back at home! the time we needed to put our foot down was when he moved into his own room (at 6 months), he was in the same cot but he knew something was different so we got strict and went for the "cry it out" option...like hoping says, hard at the time, but worth it in the end. we had our room back to ourselves (sex lives back!) and he slept through the night. happy parents, happy well-rested baby, happy endings all round! :D

UPDATE on me: had my 33week appointment today and everything is looking great! doc gave me the note to book into maternity ward, and wrote on it c-section for +/- 15th january...

i then asked him "so you think a repeat cesar is the best way to go?" and he said we don't have to make any commitments now, BUT that considering the first c-section it'd most likely be the safest way to go, and that baby is feeling big for my build as my pelvis is small. great.

oh well, so it looks like we have 5 weeks to go...

i've had a lot of time now since he first mentioned his feelings towards VBAC to come to terms with this decision. if he'd like us to book a definate date for the section next time i'll ask if there are any ways they can make it more special...not sure what requests they will accomodate but it couldn't hurt to ask!
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