Spring 2015 Babies!!!

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Re: Spring 2015 Babies!!!

Postby NicoleLeClair » Sat Sep 13, 2014 6:48 pm

luckyducky- that's horrible! No wonder you feel so upset, nobody wants someone going back and forth every day. Have you guys thought of like couples therapy? counseling or whatever? There's no chance you have families or friends nearby that could lend a helping hand just in case he decides to up and leave?
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Re: Spring 2015 Babies!!!

Postby Luckyduck23 » Sat Sep 13, 2014 7:45 pm

We talk about couples counseling, it's come up every so often in the last year and it seems we always agree to it but never get around it actually going. I wish we would, I wish we had before now because right now feels too late.. I'm so scared that we've become too far past being able to be fixed, that DH is already past even wanting to try. I'll bring it up again and maybe that will give me a clearer view on where he's standing I guess.
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8w2d :hb: 172bpm
14w4d :hb: 148bpm
15w4d :hb: 136bpm
18w4d :hb: 152bpm
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Re: Spring 2015 Babies!!!

Postby shadypersephone » Sun Sep 14, 2014 6:00 am

Ld- I really want your dh to get his crap figured out cause all this stress is not fun on top of pregnancy. If you knew what he was leaning towards you could at least take action. I don't know how you've toughed it out as long as you have. It just really sucks that you don't really have any good choices on what you can realistically do given your dd and lo, so you get stuck. Damn, lucky. I'm sending hugs and comfort your way. And to lighten the mood, my hugs are awesome given these huge G boobs. But in all honesty, i want to know how pregnant ladies hug. It must all be side-bump hugs.
6/24/2014 3w3d :bfp:
2/26/2015 38w4d: Gwendolyn Anne arrives!
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Re: Spring 2015 Babies!!!

Postby Luckyduck23 » Sun Sep 14, 2014 7:12 am

It's not going anywhere, the only action left to take is to save my sanity and move on without him. He told me last night, the only option I had if I were to ever hope to be with him again and "save us", would be if this baby is in fact a girl to give her up for adoption, otherwise accept we will never be together again. So, quite obviously this seperation is the real deal.. I believe that was his way of ending it, his way of saying "there's nothing in me that wants us back together." My worst fear from the pregnancy having happened at the worst timing possible is coming true in all aspects. My family isn't a family anymore, the last 2 yrs of my life were a lie, and now I'm alone and have no idea what the first "right" move is. I'm scared :cry:

For some unknown reason though, he's said to wait to file papers until after the baby is born. Probably just another way to mindfuck me and keep me from moving on. Wishing it was because there was still hope for us.
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Surprise BFP 06/27/2014 - Due 03/08/2015, came in to the world @ 6lbs 9oz & 20 inches long on 03/04/2015!!

8w2d :hb: 172bpm
14w4d :hb: 148bpm
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18w4d :hb: 152bpm
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Re: Spring 2015 Babies!!!

Postby lbgoehefam » Sun Sep 14, 2014 7:20 am

What a jerk. I would say even if this baby does turn out to be a boy, i would seriously considering never getting back with him. I just don't even know what to say about this, I'm speechless. Big preggo group hugs ;)
Dd 06/11/08 Charlize Michelle (we call her Charlie)
Dd 10/20/11 Natalie Beth
Dd 03/20/13 McKenzie Rose

Edd 03/20/15 Its a Boy!

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Re: Spring 2015 Babies!!!

Postby lbgoehefam » Sun Sep 14, 2014 7:25 am

My heart just breaks for you. Maybe just start filing the papers to let him know at least one of you is serious and see what his reaction is? Idk but I can't imagine anyone being so cruel to play mind games with you in this delicate state :(
Dd 06/11/08 Charlize Michelle (we call her Charlie)
Dd 10/20/11 Natalie Beth
Dd 03/20/13 McKenzie Rose

Edd 03/20/15 Its a Boy!

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Re: Spring 2015 Babies!!!

Postby shadypersephone » Sun Sep 14, 2014 8:02 am

Yeah, I'd start the paperwork. I cannot believe this jerk!!!
6/24/2014 3w3d :bfp:
2/26/2015 38w4d: Gwendolyn Anne arrives!
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Re: Spring 2015 Babies!!!

Postby Luckyduck23 » Sun Sep 14, 2014 8:04 am

That's pretty much where I'm at lbgoehefam. I want to believe he wouldn't really want to give up our baby based on the sex and that it was just his way of trying to make me not want to be with him (bc he's a bitch and can't just end this himself, he needs a way to put blame on me) but it's turning out that everything I had believed about him before was wrong so he's probably really that kind of horrible person. I just can't believe I'm here right now, and everything is falling apart so such a horrific way. And I can't help but blame myself for ever leaving to come to fl, thinking that if I was there with him I could fix this and he would have never felt this way about us, or about this baby. Idk which way my life is headed anymore. I just wish I had some direction, I wish I could see which path would lead me to the "right" way bc it seems I'm always going with the wrong one.

I don't want to start the process because I want so badly for this to be some sort of nightmare that I'm going to wake up from. That one day he'll call and have realized everything he's giving up, tht he would beg forgiveness and be the husband and father I know he can be. Hoping for a miracle I guess..
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Surprise BFP 06/27/2014 - Due 03/08/2015, came in to the world @ 6lbs 9oz & 20 inches long on 03/04/2015!!

8w2d :hb: 172bpm
14w4d :hb: 148bpm
15w4d :hb: 136bpm
18w4d :hb: 152bpm
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Re: Spring 2015 Babies!!!

Postby NicoleLeClair » Sun Sep 14, 2014 8:12 am

Luckyducky- that's awful! I'm sorry but you obviously never married a man. that's a boy you've wed. The only thing he has going for him, as you said, is that he's a good father but whats that saying? 'good father, shitty husband?' it comes true more often then not in relationships. Here's what i think you said do, if it IS a boy and that's his reason for sticking around? Kick him the f*** out regardless. That is NOT a man you want to spend the rest of your life with is it? Regardless of the fact that hes a good father to your baby girl because honestly, as a kid from divorce (my parents split when i was only 6) i can tell you that kids pick up on tension and are smarter at realizing their parents are not getting along and you don't want your daughter catching that. Your daughter deserves to have a HAPPY MOTHER. You deserve to be HAPPY. You also don't deserve someone who will only stay with you if its a boy, wtf is THAT?! That's not love doesn't matter if he says it is! You deserve someone who will be with you regardless of what sex your future children will be with because they love YOU and any baby that you produce together. Why don't YOU file the papers? Why does he assume he's taking 'control'? Chicka, its going to suck balls for a while BUT it always gets better and you will be happy in the end that this happened. I know you love him, and can't live without him at the moment but you DON'T DESERVE TO BE TREATED THIS WAY. Anybody on the street anywhere, male OR female would tell you what your going through is bullshit. Telling him YOUR filing the papers now will get a truthful reaction from him. It couldn't do any harm to just tell him and see how he reacts....this may sound lame but in my past break ups, and there was one i just couldn't stop going back to, i use to watch movies to let pump me up that ar suppose to be 'inspiring' to woman like...First Wives Club (oldie BUT a goodie about revenge and being strong AND its hilarious). The Other Woman which just came out is a good one too....or i would read He's Just not that into you (honestly after that 'bible' i could smell BS a mile away from a guy and soon found my hubby :) I've also helped my friends dump dumbasses and avoid dates or outings with losers which they all ended up thanking me for). Its a short book if you haven't read it, written solely by a guy and its a eye-opener.
~ Aviana Isabelle LeClair- 2 years old ~
~ Currently carrying #2 ~ A BABY GIRL! Elise LeClair.

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Re: Spring 2015 Babies!!!

Postby NicoleLeClair » Sun Sep 14, 2014 8:14 am

luckyducky- also is there anyway you could move back home asap? Or at least tell him you are. JUST to see his reaction tell him you are going home, there's nothing for you here and you want to be around a good support system back home (he doesn't have to know that's bullshit lol). See what he says to that?
~ Aviana Isabelle LeClair- 2 years old ~
~ Currently carrying #2 ~ A BABY GIRL! Elise LeClair.

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Re: Spring 2015 Babies!!!

Postby Luckyduck23 » Sun Sep 14, 2014 8:53 am

I know he's not a man. He's a little boy running from his problems.
But I am home, I made a trip from la (where DH and his family is) to fl (where my family is) for a few months to try and help us get on the right track before this baby gets here. We talked about it before i left and I thought we both agreed and were on the same page about it, but now that I'm gone it's like he's using it against me, like I gave up and didn't try hard enough by leaving, like I put no effort into making it work in la. That's why I can't help but sit here and blame myself, even though I know that's completely irrational.
Me-24 DH-29
Dd-4
Surprise BFP 06/27/2014 - Due 03/08/2015, came in to the world @ 6lbs 9oz & 20 inches long on 03/04/2015!!

8w2d :hb: 172bpm
14w4d :hb: 148bpm
15w4d :hb: 136bpm
18w4d :hb: 152bpm
It's a GIRL! :future baby girl:

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Re: Spring 2015 Babies!!!

Postby NicoleLeClair » Sun Sep 14, 2014 9:36 am

luckyducky- you are a women, its a trait we all share blaming ourselves for a while until we 'wake up' and realize it has nothing to do with us what so ever. lol. As sad as it is right now, you should be focusing or at least try to focus on your daughter, yourself ad the baby in your belly. Put him in the back of your mind and don't allow him to stress you out. YOU have to be selfish now, give him a dose of his own medicine.
~ Aviana Isabelle LeClair- 2 years old ~
~ Currently carrying #2 ~ A BABY GIRL! Elise LeClair.

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Re: Spring 2015 Babies!!!

Postby lbgoehefam » Sun Sep 14, 2014 9:46 am

Ld... does this seem to be a pattern with your dh? It seems like he always pulls this when your pregnant? I remember in your blog from a while ago that you said while you were pregnant with your dd that things got really rough and he was seeing another woman, then before your mc things were on the rocks and after you mc things got better again. Now that you're pregnant again he seems to be pulling the same crap...idk. but do not blame yourself, if things were going to work out it wouldn't matter if you were together right now or half way across the world, he'd make an effort. This is not your fault hun.
Dd 06/11/08 Charlize Michelle (we call her Charlie)
Dd 10/20/11 Natalie Beth
Dd 03/20/13 McKenzie Rose

Edd 03/20/15 Its a Boy!

I'm 27 years old, married for 4 years on 4/24/10
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Re: Spring 2015 Babies!!!

Postby goddessscorpion » Sun Sep 14, 2014 9:47 am

LD, i dont understand why he is hating so much on the girls?
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Re: Spring 2015 Babies!!!

Postby Luckyduck23 » Sun Sep 14, 2014 11:34 am

I know you're so right Nicole but it's so hard.. If I was any good at forgetting about him i probably wouldn't be in this position in the first place :/

Lbgoehefam, it's definitely a pattern but more or less has nothing to do with pregnant or not. When we first got together and were dating it was like I was a trophy so when he made all these commitments to me and I took it seriously he felt like he didn't know what to do, so "go with the flow" was his motto. I found out how he really felt when I was already pregnant with dd, heanaged to straighten up, and life was great for about a year. That would from pregnant at 4 months to dd being about 3 months old. He was working from home so he had all the time in the world to be mr family man and he was amazing and was so good to me, but I was hung up up on what he'd already done and never let go. So when dd was 3 months, same cycle different girl started. I stayed with him, he said all the right words and we got married the following jam just before Dds 1st bday. It pretty much went downhill from there. The first 6 months were fine, but then again more of the same cycle and different girl. Then back and forth between both of us, I did my share of wrongdoings and he had his. Well it got so bad by a year later (fen, Dds second birthday) he decided he was done and left to la. He didn't know I was pregnant then, but had a slight clue I could be bc he knew there was "that one" accident a week earlier. I mced and he surprised me by being the rock I needed through that, he was never mean or nasty and it was like we learned to really love each other again. So he paid for me to move to la 8 months later and I thought we were getting somewhere really good, I thought he understood what I was going through with his family and why I wasn't happy and that WE were good but he wasn't good. He was faking it til he made it, "taking care of his family" as he put it, and as miserable as I've been he's just over me I guess and none of this was worth it.

Goddess, DH has voiced plenty before that a 4th girl is the last thing he wants, that the expense wouldn't be worth it although he'd love her when she's here. But this wasn't planned and we had spoken before about specifically ttc a boy and waiting until we could do everything possible so we could say we had the best chance. But he was never ready for anther baby in the first place and another girl is worth nothing to him atm. He changes every 5 minutes about what he says about this baby. He doesn't care the sex, he does care, he doesn't, and now give it up if it is and our relationship will "have a chance". @&$!?&!
Me-24 DH-29
Dd-4
Surprise BFP 06/27/2014 - Due 03/08/2015, came in to the world @ 6lbs 9oz & 20 inches long on 03/04/2015!!

8w2d :hb: 172bpm
14w4d :hb: 148bpm
15w4d :hb: 136bpm
18w4d :hb: 152bpm
It's a GIRL! :future baby girl:

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