Pregnancy & Motherhood Forum

by **s4mm13** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 12:21 am

Set this up for you ladies.

Xx

by **efina** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 8:59 am

Thank you for setting this up. Thought I would introduce myself and explain why I'm choosing a midwife and natural birth.

Quick background. My husband and I met and lived in NYC for 7 years. Suddenly our friends started having babies and soon after move away from the city. I saw the struggle they had being pregnant in a large city, how hard prenatal care was, birth, and worst of all postpartum. I started longing for a baby as well, but knew I did not want to deal with the hassle of being pregnant and give birth in NYC, so we moved to a small town in New Hampshire (we are not from NH, as I'm Swedish and husband is from RI). I had for a long time been fascinated by midwifes and homebirth, and been thinking that it might be the route to go once we are pregnant. In the town we chose to move to, we had a few friends already, and one of them is a CNM, so I saw her for a well woman visit and pre-conception check-up. It took is some time to settle down in the town (and to convince dh it was time to start), but almost on the day for our one year mark I got a bfp.

So that's where I am now. I immediately thought that I wanted to work with my friend as my midwife, and hopefully have a home birth. However, I wasn't aware of how different the Midwife vs. Hospital prenatal care was, and I've had to do a lot of research to figure out what will work best for both my husband and I. I want an holistic pregnancy, and go as natural as possible, but like science and useful interventions at the hospital, and don't want to ignore the great knowledge, tests and equipment they have to offer as well (if this makes sense?). So this is why I have finally made the decision for a dating scan at 9 weeks next week, and that we will do some type of prenatal testing.

As for the birth, I am terrified of the "downward spiral" you read about (and hear from friends and family) is so common at the hospital, and I want our birth to be as natural and positive of an experience as possible. However, I am also scared of our baby's health during and after the birth (I know the chances are extremely small of something going wrong), but I have concerns for what could happen during a home birth that the cnm is not equipped for. These are things I would love to discuss with you ladies. So having that said, I am 90% sure I want homebirth, but there is a possibility that we will switch to our small local hospital, and have my midwife as a doula there instead. Luckily this hospital is supposedly great for natural birth and I could use their birth tub.

So that's enough about me for now. Sorry for the long novel. Looking forward to chat with you all!

by **Yaybaby88** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 3:41 pm

I would prefer a home birth as well, but dh says no. He feels more comfortable at the birth center and I think it's a pretty good compromise since I don't have to deliver at the hospital.
As far as the safety of not delivering at a hospital, I think it depends on the midwife. Midwives should be able to spot an emergency before it happens, and can get you to the hospital in the same amount of time it would take a dr to prep the OR. I completely trust out midwife and feel very safe, and I know the mortality rate of moms and babies are often lower with midwives. (If you look at the farm they have a very low rate and a 3 percent c section rate)

by **Yaybaby88** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 3:44 pm

What books have you read? I just finished Ina Mays guide to childbirth and it was amazing

by **efina** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 5:37 pm

I feel safe with my midwife as well. She is very experienced, and she doesn't take any risks, and she works with a team of midwifes during the birth. At my first appointment we will ask her a bunch of questions to make sure that we are on the same page about everything. My husband is not 100% convinced about home birth but he is getting there. We do have an option to go to a birth center as well. I really love the idea of that, but it's 25 minutes away while the hospital is only 3 minutes away. I hope I can convince him to do home, because I feel safe here knowing the hospital is so close, but if he finds the birth center to be better I'd be happy with that as well.

My midwife only recommended me to read Expecting Better so far. She said to stay away from other pregnancy books "as they bring out fear". She said, however, that there are a lot of great birthing books out there, like Ina Mays, so I will defiantly read that one soon. Good to hear you liked it. Do you have any other pregnancy books you would recommend?
By the way, congrats on finding out it's a boy, my gut feeling says I'm having a boy as well, but dh wants girl, so we will she who's right. Will find out week 20.

by **Yaybaby88** » Thu Mar 05, 2015 7:41 pm

I think anything Ina may is amazing! She talks a lot about that in her books how fear of birth can make it more painful. In fact, the first half of the book I just finished was just positive birth stories, it's so different from the traumatic ones that are noranml talked about. I want to start reading the hypno birth books, but I'm not sure. I've heard of another one called hynobabies so I'm not really sure where to start lol
Thank you! I totally thought girl because we already have two, so I was very suprised!

by **KayJay** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 7:34 pm

Totally lurking here!

I so wish this group started months ago as I'm due April 2nd! This is my second pregnancy but will be our first attempt at a home birth. We had our first in the hospital and while it wasn't a terrible experience, it's not what I want for this next labor and delivery.

Best of luck to all of you ladies! I hope we can all achieve the home birth we're after

by **efina** » Tue Mar 10, 2015 6:52 pm

My husband just ordered his first book: The Birth Partner. It has great reviews and looking forward to read it as well. Think I will go to the library next weekend to pick up some books, especially Ina May's book. Did any of you watch her documentary Birth Story? I told dh to get me that movie plus I'm also interested in watching The Face of Birth (it's an Australian documentary. Any documentaries/movies you would recommend?

KayJay, I was surprised there was no home birth/birth center board on here. Please join us while you're still here and share your knowledge

I can't wait to read your birth story. What kind of birthing method are you using, if any? And are you doing water birth?

by **Yaybaby88** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:56 pm

I haven't seen that one yet, just the business of being born, more business of being born on Netflix and pregnant in America. Myidwife suggested one I think it was called birth by numbers but I'm not sure. Same here, my next app I'm going to check out her lending library. What are your thoughts on vaccines? So much of the research I've been doing on natural parenting brings that subject up a lot... I'm kind of on the fence... But at the farm where Ina may is, out of the 3,000 babies born there with no interventions during birth and with no vaccinations they have had only one case of autism... Kind of made me think. My first daughter is fully vaccinated, but I'm thinking of delaying the new babies and doing a very modified schedule.

by **efina** » Thu Mar 19, 2015 9:41 am

Rachel, I lost my baby

I hope I can come back here soon and join you again. As far as vaccine goes, I think I am for it for many reasons, but still need to do more research before I can really express my opinion. I might still check in here once in a while. Good luck to you!