Pregnant with triplets, dilemma of fetal reduction

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Pregnant with triplets, dilemma of fetal reduction

Postby Jasmine1 » Wed Oct 02, 2013 2:44 am

When I had my 1st u/s 6w, I saw two heartbeats and one sac much smaller in size. My dr thought the 3rd one probably wouldn't make it, and hoped that she was right.

I went in for another scan 9w4d, and saw three heartbeats. The 3rd baby has caught up in size.

Right from the beginning my dr had said that if all 3 of my embryos made it (put in 3) then she would need me to reduce one. I had wanted to put in only 2 but she insisted that the chance of all 3 implanting was extremely small.

So now I'm really facing this difficult situation. My dr says it's very dangerous for me to carry all 3 mainly because triplets usually are preterm and if they come out too early, there would be lots of complications and not one of them may be saved (or may end up being handicapped). I know that many people carry triplets, but I really doubt if my body could make it also. I'm short and medium-sized. I had a history of 2 m/cs plus 1 chemical.

It hurts just to imagine the process of killing my own baby...I wish I hadn't made the choice of putting in 3...but it's all too late now. If only 2 could live I wish that one of them would disappear on his/her own....

I've made an appointment with a prof. next week to take a more detailed scan and talk about the possibilities. DH and I are more toward reducing for the safety of all the babies. There is a risk too, if I choose to reduce. Ughh why is having a baby so difficult....

I want to hear some triplets stories here...were you faced with fetal reduction and what did you end up doing? Did your triplets make it at the end etc....

I would appreciate any input. Thanks. :(
Officially started TTC Mar 07
Our sweet baby in God's arms--D&C 10w4d, Sep 07

IVF #1 (ICSI): Jun 2012 9w3d baby no more heartbeat
IVF #2 (ICSI): Jan 2013 Chemical
IVF #3 May 2013 Poor response after 5 days stim, cancelled cycle!
IVF #4 (ICSI): Aug 2013 BETA(15 DPO) 1041 Triplets!! God please let this be it!!

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Re: Pregnant with triplets, dilemma of fetal reduction

Postby tdarrow » Wed Oct 02, 2013 6:51 am

Jasmine,

I don't have any advice about triplets but I just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers that God gives you peace of mind and understanding and that things go well for you and your family. I can not imagine what you are feeling and I wish you the best. Hopefully the wonderful ladies here can give you some good advice and encouraging stories. :-) God Bless!!
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Re: Pregnant with triplets, dilemma of fetal reduction

Postby buggie » Wed Oct 02, 2013 7:20 am

I don't have any advice to share, but just know that whatever you decide to do you're doing it to give your babies the best chance they can have. Whatever you decide will be the right choice. Hugs.
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Re: Pregnant with triplets, dilemma of fetal reduction

Postby babydust2me » Wed Oct 02, 2013 10:39 am

I had a very similar 6 week ultrasound. 3 babies, 3 heartbeats but one much smaller than the other 2. In my case though, my 3rd baby didn't make it and had passed by 8 weeks.

This is just me - I never could have reduced. Yes I would have been high risk and my pregnancy would have been much more complicated but I personally couldn't have done it. I do understand that uncertainty though. When I was in limbo, I wasn't necessarily wishing the 3rd baby wouldn't make it, but I did know that it would be better for my health and the babies health if there were only 2. BUT there are plenty of women who go through triplet pregnancies and come out just fine. I know a girl from another forum who went to 34 weeks with her triplets - I only went to 33 with twins. Another girl went to 30 weeks with her trio.

Ultimately it's a very personal decision. If you're unsure of it, DO NOT let your doctor pressure you into reducing if you don't want to do it. If that's what you want, no judgments here. You have to do what you think is best for you and your family. If you think you want to keep all 3, maybe you need to move to another doctor who is more comfortable monitoring a triplet pregnancy.

It's a hard choice and there's no one right answer. It has to be what you want. :hugs: I'm so sorry you're faced with this difficult decision. Honestly, whether you'll have complications sometimes is just the luck of the draw. I suddenly developed pre-e at 32 weeks and delivered my twins at 33 weeks. Plenty of people make it to 38+ weeks with twins. And like I said, I know of at least one triplet momma who made it farther than I did with just 2.
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Re: Pregnant with triplets, dilemma of fetal reduction

Postby HawkeyeGirl18 » Fri Oct 04, 2013 6:46 pm

I'm so sorry that you're faced with such a difficult decision. I too was pregnant with triplets and faced with the option to reduce. I chose not to and unfortunately lost all three to incompetent cervix at 19w4d. Thankfully, we were finally blessed with a healthy singleton pregnancy later that year.

DH and I are trying again and we had a pretty lengthy conversation with my RE about multiples and SR. She told me that reducing triplets to twins was just as risky as continuing with the triplet pregnancy, so they don't recommend it much now unless its quads or more. Reducing to a singleton might be a different story though.

Again, I'm sorry that you are faced with this decision, but I pray that you will be able to find peace with whichever decision you make and will have healthy baby(ies) in the end.
Me: 28 DH: 30
My blog: http://ttcwithpcosrpl.blogspot.com
8w3d :angel: 5w0d :angel: 4w3d :angel:
19w4d :angel: :angel: :angel: Triplets lost to IC 1/7/11: Cadyn (with us for for 20 minutes), Adalyn & Mikayla (born sleeping)

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Re: Pregnant with triplets, dilemma of fetal reduction

Postby Jasmine1 » Sun Oct 06, 2013 12:59 am

Thanks....that's very sweet of you.

Before my embryo transfer, I had worried about all 3 being implanted, but since my RE insisted that I had a slim chance of that happening, I prayed to God that no matter how many He grants me...one, two or three...I'd be happy to accept it (but did mention that I wanted at least one... :P ). So now that I've got 3, I'm not sure what it means. Should I go ahead or should I reduce for the safety of the other 2... I wish I was more spiritual to know God's will.

tdarrow wrote:Jasmine,

I don't have any advice about triplets but I just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers that God gives you peace of mind and understanding and that things go well for you and your family. I can not imagine what you are feeling and I wish you the best. Hopefully the wonderful ladies here can give you some good advice and encouraging stories. :-) God Bless!!
Officially started TTC Mar 07
Our sweet baby in God's arms--D&C 10w4d, Sep 07

IVF #1 (ICSI): Jun 2012 9w3d baby no more heartbeat
IVF #2 (ICSI): Jan 2013 Chemical
IVF #3 May 2013 Poor response after 5 days stim, cancelled cycle!
IVF #4 (ICSI): Aug 2013 BETA(15 DPO) 1041 Triplets!! God please let this be it!!

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Re: Pregnant with triplets, dilemma of fetal reduction

Postby Jasmine1 » Sun Oct 06, 2013 1:04 am

Thanks for your support. :> Honestly I feel very bad...it was me who wanted them to come to this earth and now it's me again wanting one of them to leave... :cry:

buggie wrote:I don't have any advice to share, but just know that whatever you decide to do you're doing it to give your babies the best chance they can have. Whatever you decide will be the right choice. Hugs.
Officially started TTC Mar 07
Our sweet baby in God's arms--D&C 10w4d, Sep 07

IVF #1 (ICSI): Jun 2012 9w3d baby no more heartbeat
IVF #2 (ICSI): Jan 2013 Chemical
IVF #3 May 2013 Poor response after 5 days stim, cancelled cycle!
IVF #4 (ICSI): Aug 2013 BETA(15 DPO) 1041 Triplets!! God please let this be it!!

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Re: Pregnant with triplets, dilemma of fetal reduction

Postby Jasmine1 » Sun Oct 06, 2013 1:13 am

Thanks for sharing.

At first I didn't know that a triplets pregnancy would have such great complications. When my dr said she hoped that the 3rd baby wouldn't make it at my 1st u/s, I thought it was quite rude to my baby....I even talked to them everyday and told all of them to keep growing.... It wasn't until the 2nd u/s my dr really talked about the problems with carrying triplets. She made it sound impossible to carry all 3 (but what about all the successful triplets out there?).

Now I'm still not sure about my decision. Wait until a few days after and I'll get to meet the prof. and see what he says. Meanwhile, DH and I are still uncertain. One moment I'm thinking, maybe give it a shot (not reducing), the next moment I'm, no...keeping them all is impossible...

babydust2me wrote:I had a very similar 6 week ultrasound. 3 babies, 3 heartbeats but one much smaller than the other 2. In my case though, my 3rd baby didn't make it and had passed by 8 weeks.

This is just me - I never could have reduced. Yes I would have been high risk and my pregnancy would have been much more complicated but I personally couldn't have done it. I do understand that uncertainty though. When I was in limbo, I wasn't necessarily wishing the 3rd baby wouldn't make it, but I did know that it would be better for my health and the babies health if there were only 2. BUT there are plenty of women who go through triplet pregnancies and come out just fine. I know a girl from another forum who went to 34 weeks with her triplets - I only went to 33 with twins. Another girl went to 30 weeks with her trio.

Ultimately it's a very personal decision. If you're unsure of it, DO NOT let your doctor pressure you into reducing if you don't want to do it. If that's what you want, no judgments here. You have to do what you think is best for you and your family. If you think you want to keep all 3, maybe you need to move to another doctor who is more comfortable monitoring a triplet pregnancy.

It's a hard choice and there's no one right answer. It has to be what you want. :hugs: I'm so sorry you're faced with this difficult decision. Honestly, whether you'll have complications sometimes is just the luck of the draw. I suddenly developed pre-e at 32 weeks and delivered my twins at 33 weeks. Plenty of people make it to 38+ weeks with twins. And like I said, I know of at least one triplet momma who made it farther than I did with just 2.
Officially started TTC Mar 07
Our sweet baby in God's arms--D&C 10w4d, Sep 07

IVF #1 (ICSI): Jun 2012 9w3d baby no more heartbeat
IVF #2 (ICSI): Jan 2013 Chemical
IVF #3 May 2013 Poor response after 5 days stim, cancelled cycle!
IVF #4 (ICSI): Aug 2013 BETA(15 DPO) 1041 Triplets!! God please let this be it!!

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Re: Pregnant with triplets, dilemma of fetal reduction

Postby Jasmine1 » Sun Oct 06, 2013 3:24 am

I'm so sorry for your losses...it must have been uneasy...

Strange, both my RE and a dr I talked to stated that the reducing risk is 2-5%, from triplets to twins. But the risk with carrying triplets is much more higher, that's why my RE said she'd rather that I take an earlier risk than to take a later risk.

I also read a website carrying a study on triplets pregnancy. One group didn't reduce and one group reduced to twins. The group that didn't reduce had a 3x% pregnancy loss by 2nd(or 3rd, can't remember) trimester. The group that reduced had no pregnancy loss. It was suggested that all moms were to be informed about the risk carrying triplets because of the high percentage of pregnancy loss. Although it was just one study, I think it's worth something to think about. Actually there are quite a few studies on the internet about selective reduction. I just read some more while trying to find the previous I've read. Perhaps you could take a look too.

HawkeyeGirl18 wrote:I'm so sorry that you're faced with such a difficult decision. I too was pregnant with triplets and faced with the option to reduce. I chose not to and unfortunately lost all three to incompetent cervix at 19w4d. Thankfully, we were finally blessed with a healthy singleton pregnancy later that year.

DH and I are trying again and we had a pretty lengthy conversation with my RE about multiples and SR. She told me that reducing triplets to twins was just as risky as continuing with the triplet pregnancy, so they don't recommend it much now unless its quads or more. Reducing to a singleton might be a different story though.

Again, I'm sorry that you are faced with this decision, but I pray that you will be able to find peace with whichever decision you make and will have healthy baby(ies) in the end.
Officially started TTC Mar 07
Our sweet baby in God's arms--D&C 10w4d, Sep 07

IVF #1 (ICSI): Jun 2012 9w3d baby no more heartbeat
IVF #2 (ICSI): Jan 2013 Chemical
IVF #3 May 2013 Poor response after 5 days stim, cancelled cycle!
IVF #4 (ICSI): Aug 2013 BETA(15 DPO) 1041 Triplets!! God please let this be it!!

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Re: Pregnant with triplets, dilemma of fetal reduction

Postby buggie » Sun Oct 06, 2013 6:07 am

Jasmine1 wrote:Thanks for your support. :> Honestly I feel very bad...it was me who wanted them to come to this earth and now it's me again wanting one of them to leave... :cry:


I'm not religious so if you are, you may have different feelings. But I say focus on the positive part, you aren't wanting one of them to leave, you're wanting as many as possible to be here. Anything you do is doing what is best for your child or children, which is what a parent does. Giving them the best chance possible is your job, whether you decide that means reducing or not. Good luck with your decision, you're in my thoughts.
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Re: Pregnant with triplets, dilemma of fetal reduction

Postby HawkeyeGirl18 » Sun Oct 06, 2013 6:14 am

I think my RE was meaning that with SR, there is a risk of losing one or both of the other babies and since it doesn't increase outcomes by a big enough percentage, they have been doing it less over the past year. For example, they recently reduced sextuplets to twins, but the woman still lost them all at 16 weeks. My RE is at a major university hospital that has participated in quite a bit of research, so I usually trust them. I pray that you can make a decision that you will be at peace with.
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19w4d :angel: :angel: :angel: Triplets lost to IC 1/7/11: Cadyn (with us for for 20 minutes), Adalyn & Mikayla (born sleeping)

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Re: Pregnant with triplets, dilemma of fetal reduction

Postby HawkeyeGirl18 » Sun Oct 06, 2013 6:18 am

buggie wrote:Anything you do is doing what is best for your child or children, which is what a parent does. Giving them the best chance possible is your job, whether you decide that means reducing or not. Good luck with your decision, you're in my thoughts.


I completely agree with this! :hugs: and good luck.
Me: 28 DH: 30
My blog: http://ttcwithpcosrpl.blogspot.com
8w3d :angel: 5w0d :angel: 4w3d :angel:
19w4d :angel: :angel: :angel: Triplets lost to IC 1/7/11: Cadyn (with us for for 20 minutes), Adalyn & Mikayla (born sleeping)

:hb: Our little miracle Mason arrived on February 22, 2012! :hb:

Expecting TWINS June 2014 after just one round of treatments! :shock:

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Re: Pregnant with triplets, dilemma of fetal reduction

Postby Jasmine1 » Mon Oct 07, 2013 1:03 am

Thanks for making me feel better.

Apart from my religious belief, I feel bad for choosing to put all 3 embryos in. If I only wanted 2, I should have transferred 2 only. That's how I feel. I remember kind of arguing with my RE on the phone before the transfer. I should have insisted. Well, I know it's too late to regret now and I must look forward.

buggie wrote:
Jasmine1 wrote:Thanks for your support. :> Honestly I feel very bad...it was me who wanted them to come to this earth and now it's me again wanting one of them to leave... :cry:


I'm not religious so if you are, you may have different feelings. But I say focus on the positive part, you aren't wanting one of them to leave, you're wanting as many as possible to be here. Anything you do is doing what is best for your child or children, which is what a parent does. Giving them the best chance possible is your job, whether you decide that means reducing or not. Good luck with your decision, you're in my thoughts.
Officially started TTC Mar 07
Our sweet baby in God's arms--D&C 10w4d, Sep 07

IVF #1 (ICSI): Jun 2012 9w3d baby no more heartbeat
IVF #2 (ICSI): Jan 2013 Chemical
IVF #3 May 2013 Poor response after 5 days stim, cancelled cycle!
IVF #4 (ICSI): Aug 2013 BETA(15 DPO) 1041 Triplets!! God please let this be it!!

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Re: Pregnant with triplets, dilemma of fetal reduction

Postby Jasmine1 » Mon Oct 07, 2013 1:20 am

One reading says reducing has a greater effect on preventing very premature babies and low birth weights instead of pregnancy loss...but every study seems to have different results... :? There are just too many things that can contribute to a pregnancy and result in different outcomes.

Best wishes on your future pregnancy. :)

HawkeyeGirl18 wrote:I think my RE was meaning that with SR, there is a risk of losing one or both of the other babies and since it doesn't increase outcomes by a big enough percentage, they have been doing it less over the past year. For example, they recently reduced sextuplets to twins, but the woman still lost them all at 16 weeks. My RE is at a major university hospital that has participated in quite a bit of research, so I usually trust them. I pray that you can make a decision that you will be at peace with.
Officially started TTC Mar 07
Our sweet baby in God's arms--D&C 10w4d, Sep 07

IVF #1 (ICSI): Jun 2012 9w3d baby no more heartbeat
IVF #2 (ICSI): Jan 2013 Chemical
IVF #3 May 2013 Poor response after 5 days stim, cancelled cycle!
IVF #4 (ICSI): Aug 2013 BETA(15 DPO) 1041 Triplets!! God please let this be it!!

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Re: Pregnant with triplets, dilemma of fetal reduction

Postby JADE0199 » Mon Oct 07, 2013 7:44 am

Congrats Jasmine on your pregnancy. :D

This is definitely the most difficult decision for you to make. I can share with you my experience with "almost" having triplets as well as carrying two sets of twins.

After having gone through 4 early miscarriages, we finally got pregnant with identical twins +1. We transferred two embryos. We saw the twins heartbeats at 6w4d but the singleton/triplet was behind development by one week. we were not optimistic for this embryo and we were very nervous about me carrying triplets. having only transferred two, we never thought in a million years I would have gotten pregnant with triplets and after gone through 4 miscarriages already and only being 5' tall and 100 lbs, I was scared to death about carrying triplets. So, subconsciously, I did wish that one didn't work out. Not to mention, I had already done my research on TTTS on identical twins and a triplet would have only put the twins more at risk of developing a complication, the MFM later confirmed that to be true. We had already seen the twins heartbeats and the third sac did not have a hb at 6w4d. so I didn't think I was wrong for not wanting it to work out. It wasn't developing on time and wanted the twins who were to thrive.

We went back a week later and the twins were measuring on time but the third baby had a heartbeat but was still much smaller than where it should be.

We went back for a third and last u/s and the third baby stopped developing. I went through a sub chorionic hemmorage, which was just brown blood for about 2 weeks, and it did not threaten the pregnancy.

We thought about selective reduction had the third one caught up, but at the same time, I was scared of losing all of them. I think if the third one caught up I would have done my best to carry all of them.

Now having had gone through two twin pregnancies, both sets to full term 36w and 38w5d, I can't imagine going through a triplet pregnancy. not trying to scare you, just sayin' that carrying twins was really hard on my body. those babies get really heavy and the belly can only stretch so much. You will more than like be on bed rest at some point in the pregnancy. earlier rather than later with triplets.

My advice would be to research the statistics as much as you can and make the decision that best for you and your family. no one can really decide that for you nor no one should judge you for it.

good luck sweetie! wishing you the best!
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