I want to be happy, but all I'm doing is worrying!

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I want to be happy, but all I'm doing is worrying!

Postby ad07 » Sat Jan 02, 2010 9:49 am

We got a surprise BFP on a CBE digi on New Year's Eve and were overjoyed!

Now the worry sets in tho. We've had two early m/c and have been TTC for almost 2 years. My first beta is Monday and I can't help but worry.

Our first pregnancy was not planned and we never got b/w done.. went in for our first u/s and they couldn't find a fetus :cry:

I just want time to fast forward to 12 weeks so I can start breathing a little easier!

I really really really want to be happy, but part of me is saying "don't get your hopes up yet!"... I HATE that!
Amy 28 :hb: Chris 28
TTC almost 2 years
2 early m/c
3 failed rounds of clomid
Natural BFP 12/31/09!
Born on her EDD 9.8.10 :hb: 7lb 10oz
:hb:Lily Emma:hb:

NTNP - surprise BFP 6/28/11!

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Postby mommyofgirls » Sat Jan 02, 2010 10:38 am

It's normal you'll feel this way till 12 weeks and then a whole new set of worry kicks it. I think it doesn't end till you hold your baby.
CONGRADULATIONS on your BFP!!!!! STICKY VIBES!! Stay Positive!
Michele: 32 Dh:31
:babyg: 3/16/1997
:babyg: 7/7/2006
:babyg: 1/3/2009
:angel: Angel:1/16/2008 via D&C @ 9.5weeks
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BFP:August 10th 2010 9/3 :hb: 131 11/22 :hb: 146
:babyg: My LOVE: Ella is here! April 8th,2011 7lbs 5.8oz
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Postby ad07 » Sat Jan 02, 2010 11:20 am

Thanks Michele!
Amy 28 :hb: Chris 28
TTC almost 2 years
2 early m/c
3 failed rounds of clomid
Natural BFP 12/31/09!
Born on her EDD 9.8.10 :hb: 7lb 10oz
:hb:Lily Emma:hb:

NTNP - surprise BFP 6/28/11!

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Postby DoulaMama » Sat Jan 02, 2010 1:16 pm

Like Michele said, totally normal to feel this way!
I STILL feel this way at 12 weeks, although I must admit not nearly as much. :)
What I have learned is this: ENJOY your pregnancy! If it's meant to be, it will be! :) You don't want to look back when you are almost fulltime, cursing yourself for not enjoying it more.
Congratulations on the pregnancy! :D
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Postby jadie_f » Sat Jan 02, 2010 10:49 pm

i had 2 m/c as well, to be honest with you, i didnt feel better until about 20 weeks, then you worry about movement and all that, all i wanted to do was hold her, and now i worry about everything else, which is why i am up at 1 am, i have to listen to her breathe all night. I know how hard it is, and i wont tell you to try to relax and enjoy, just try to trust your body can do this and take care of yourself hun
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:hb: 10/19/09 :hb:
Jay Jay Nay Nay is here! Born au naturel in my CAR!!!
:hb: 4/26/11 :hb:

And for my next trick....surrogacy! BFP 5dp5dt! EDD 2/22!

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Postby ad07 » Sun Jan 03, 2010 8:04 am

Thanks ladies!! I truly appreciate hearing it from women who know how I'm feeling :)
Amy 28 :hb: Chris 28
TTC almost 2 years
2 early m/c
3 failed rounds of clomid
Natural BFP 12/31/09!
Born on her EDD 9.8.10 :hb: 7lb 10oz
:hb:Lily Emma:hb:

NTNP - surprise BFP 6/28/11!

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Postby bernababe » Mon Jan 04, 2010 7:35 pm

I remember you from the TTC boards :) I was on clomid and had a miscarriage in June after a late loss in 2007 :( I know I was freakin out alot in the beginning and i had all these milestones... beta...first u/s to see heartbeat....12 week....12 week u/s....now its the 18 week u/s :)

BUT it will get easier as each week goes by and you just have to think "This time things are going to be ok" :) Hoping and praying for you and your LO :)
DD- 10yrs
DS2-3 yrs
Due in december! EDD 12/31/2013
Our angel Kyle Ethan 07/2007 @ 24wks
m/c 5weeks 4days July 2009
m/c 5weeks April 2011
Baby Fiona due 12/31/2013
PCOS dx 2009

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Postby ad07 » Tue Jan 05, 2010 9:59 am

Thanks Berna! I'm trying to be optimistic :)

I am having an "I don't fee pregnant" day tho :?
I know I'm early, but I have been pretty bloated and crampy lately and today I don't have anything. I'm so worried that I'm gonna go for my beta tomorrow and it'll be lower or not doubled.
Amy 28 :hb: Chris 28
TTC almost 2 years
2 early m/c
3 failed rounds of clomid
Natural BFP 12/31/09!
Born on her EDD 9.8.10 :hb: 7lb 10oz
:hb:Lily Emma:hb:

NTNP - surprise BFP 6/28/11!

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Postby flipflop1117 » Wed Jan 06, 2010 12:04 pm

I know how you feel 100% and nothing anyone says will ease the worrying, but that's ok. It's natural to worry even if you have never had a loss, I think. I had 4 pregnancy losses (1 ectopic and 3 early losses under 12 weeks) I was diagnosed PCOS w/ Insulin Resistance and went on Clomid and Metformin and Viola! Pregnant within three cycles, but the first 12 weeks I was waiting for the "other show to drop" Would my Betas increase right? I would be awake every night before an ultrasound, thinking what happens if they find no heartbeat? It was awful to have those thoughts, but looking back, I know that it was natural for me to worry. It gets better when you can feel him/her moving, hear the heartbeat on the doppler (I got a home one so I could check anytime i wanted to!)

31 weeks!!! I seriously never thought I would make it here, and here I am.
"And maybe that's what my scars really are...proof I've put myself back together." ~ Carrie Ryan
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Postby ad07 » Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:25 pm

Thanks JK1978! That makes me feel good! My second beta came back really well today too, so I feel like I can breathe a little better now :)

I love your pic in your sig btw.. so cute! Congrats on your healthy LO!!
Do you have names picked out yet?
Amy 28 :hb: Chris 28
TTC almost 2 years
2 early m/c
3 failed rounds of clomid
Natural BFP 12/31/09!
Born on her EDD 9.8.10 :hb: 7lb 10oz
:hb:Lily Emma:hb:

NTNP - surprise BFP 6/28/11!

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Postby Carrie11 » Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:37 pm

HEY! I remember you from the other side! I am so happy you got your BFP. I hope and pray it all goes good for you. You deserve it!
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Postby Carrie11 » Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:38 pm

Does doc have you on any baby aspirin or clotting meds?
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Postby flipflop1117 » Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:58 pm

ad07 wrote:Thanks JK1978! That makes me feel good! My second beta came back really well today too, so I feel like I can breathe a little better now :)

I love your pic in your sig btw.. so cute! Congrats on your healthy LO!!
Do you have names picked out yet?


Thanks! Great news about your beta!!!!!!! Congrats! As far as names... If boy, Jaxon, if girl Sophia :D
"And maybe that's what my scars really are...proof I've put myself back together." ~ Carrie Ryan
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Postby ad07 » Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:30 pm

Carrie Thanks so much!! I am still on the 1 81mg baby aspirin per day. I think it's probably ok to stay on it through the 1st trimester

JK1978 I know a Jaxson and Sophia.. both very cute names!!
Amy 28 :hb: Chris 28
TTC almost 2 years
2 early m/c
3 failed rounds of clomid
Natural BFP 12/31/09!
Born on her EDD 9.8.10 :hb: 7lb 10oz
:hb:Lily Emma:hb:

NTNP - surprise BFP 6/28/11!

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Postby mommyofgirls » Wed Jan 06, 2010 5:05 pm

Your Betas Look GREAT! Congradulations Again :D :D
Michele: 32 Dh:31
:babyg: 3/16/1997
:babyg: 7/7/2006
:babyg: 1/3/2009
:angel: Angel:1/16/2008 via D&C @ 9.5weeks
Image
BFP:August 10th 2010 9/3 :hb: 131 11/22 :hb: 146
:babyg: My LOVE: Ella is here! April 8th,2011 7lbs 5.8oz
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