Stories, poems, songs to help with grief

A special place to talk about your pregnancy after a loss.

Moderators: B Michaelson, southernbelle, jessm, 1daysoon, reapage, Honey Bunny, unaffected, maddy, TrebleLily

Postby blue-eden » Thu Apr 01, 2010 10:25 am

I'm so sorry for your grief and loss.

When I miscarried my first, someone shared these with me.


I'll lend you a for a little time
a child of mine, God said.
For you to love the while he lives
and mourn for when he's dead.

It may be six or seven years
or twenty-two or three.
But will you till I call him back
take care of him for me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you
and shall his stay be brief.
You'll have his lovely memories
as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay
since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.

I've looked the wide world over
in my search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd life's lane
I have selected you.

Now will you give him all your love,
nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call
to take him back again?

I fancied that I heard them say,
"Dear Lord, thy will be done,"
For all the joy thy child will bring
the risk of grief we'll run.

We'll shelter him with tenderness.
we'll love him while we may.
And for the happiness we've known,
forever grateful stay.

"But shall the angels call for him
much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
and try to understand.


by Edgar A. Guest



And this one was on my blog for a while. It meant a lot to me back then.

I said, "God, I hurt."
And God said, "I know."
I said, "God, I cry a lot."
And God said, "That is why I gave you tears."
I said, "God, I am so depressed."
And God said, "That is why I gave you Sunshine."
I said, "God, life is so hard."
And God said, "That is why I gave you loved ones."
I said, "God, my loved one died."
And God said, "So did mine."
I said, "God, it is such a loss."
And God said, "I saw mine nailed to a cross."
I said, "God, but your loved one lives."
And God said, "So does yours."
I said, "God, where are they now?"
And God said, "Mine is on My right. Yours is in the Light."
I said, "God, it hurts."
And God said, "I know."
Certified Lactation Educator and Breastfeeding Counselor
Mum to M, nursling 3-7-07 - 11-7-08 :hb: and Leo 4-13-09
User avatar
blue-eden
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 20441
Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 12:00 am
Location: In limbo, Canada

Postby macleesy » Sat Jun 12, 2010 3:15 am

If you are healing from the loss of a child and you get out of bed in the morning,
You are doing well.

If you healing from the loss of a child and you hold down a job,
You are amazing.

If you are healing from the loss of a child and and you are still remotely pleasant to others,
You are a lot nicer than me.

If you are healing from the loss of a child and you cannot always be there for a friend,
You are still a good friend and a strong enough person to know what is best for you.

If you are healing from the loss of a child and you cry daily or have nightmares,
You are normal.

If you are healing from the loss of a child and seeing happy, healthy pregnant women makes you sad, angry, jealous and worse,
Join the club

If you are healing from the loss of a child and think that what happened was your fault,
you are wrong, but you are not alone.

If you are healing from the loss of a child and feel like your significant other truly understands and is 100% supportive,
He or she is rare and a keeper.

If you are healing from the loss of a child and you have a good support system,
It will help A LOT.

If you are healing from the loss of a child and feel painfully alone and isolated,
Please know that there are thousands of people healing with you in spirit.

If you are healing from the loss of a child but still looking to the future,
you are a survivor!
Lisa
Erin Nicole19 Dec 07
Annah Paige 2 Jan 11
Connor John 26 May to 7 Aug 09
My beautiful angel. :angel: So far from my reach, but so close to my heart.

Image

Image
User avatar
macleesy
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 1568
Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:00 am
Location: New Zealand

Postby breezy » Wed Jul 28, 2010 5:33 pm

Here is a letter to send out after your MC..i feel it says everything just right...

Most of you are already aware that we received some sad news (date). I was seven weeks pregnant when we discovered the baby had died much earlier, and that it had taken some time for my body to realize it.

We are coping with the loss and coming to terms with what happened as we recover emotionally(DHs name) is taking very good care of me as I recover physically as well.

We are trying to count our blessings (DD or DS here being a big one) and continue to live our lives. While I do not want to focus too hard on this tragedy or let it take over my life, I do want take a moment to acknowledge the loss rather than pretend it never happened. While we were only pregnant for a little while, we did love our baby with all our heart, and will never forget the joy and hope he or she brought into our lives if only for a moment.

I know it must be difficult for each of you to find words to express your condolences. We know that you're thinking of us and that we're in your prayers, and this knowledge is comfort enough. If you wish to share your condolences, we ask that you send your sympathy to us by writing instead of calling.

While this will be hard for us to handle for a while, we will eventually be alright. We are strong people, and I personally discovered I am a lot stronger than I ever imagined. We are fortunate to have a very strong relationship with each other. We will be fine and will, sometime soon, be ready to try again.

I read a quote online about pregnancy loss that said, "blossomed on earth to bloom in heaven," and this is how I would like to think of my little one. And with this I will end the sad, sad email. I apologize for bringing you all into our sadness...I just felt it was important to pause for a moment and make mention of what happened.

Please feel free to forward this email to anyone who may have known about the pregnancy
After 5yrs of TTC #2...we took a break so i can focus on my health..i lost 25lbs in 7 weeks and surprise..BFP!!
MC-10-09 at 8 weeks. no fetal pole
- 7-19 beta 8
- 7-21 beta 40 Progesterone 24.3
- 7-26 beta 401!!! Progesterone 26.9
- 8-1 beta 7,700!!!!
** IT'S A GIRL***
EDD- APRIL FOOLS DAY :)
Image
breezy
StickyDuster
StickyDuster
 
Posts: 106
Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2010 12:00 am
Location: las vegas

Postby trevorsmommy2 » Thu Apr 07, 2011 10:14 am

Thank you for posting. Brought tears to my eyes. It will be 4 weeks tomorrow since I delivered our baby boy Aiden at 39 weeks stillborn. I am obviously not currently pregnant but was reading on here for some hope and inspiration as we are planning to start ttc soon. Here are some poems and songs I enjoy and that help me feel a little better.

Mommy, I wish I could stay.
Just like I heard you pray.
But, all the angels did cry
when they told little me goodbye. ...
God didn't take me cause He's mad.
He didn't send me to make you sad.
But to give us both a chance to be a love
so precious .. don't you see?
Up here no trouble do I see
and the pretty angels sing to me.
The streets of gold is where I play
you'll come here too, mommy, someday.
Until the day you join me here,
I'll love you mommy, dear.
Each breeze you feel and see,
brings love and a kiss from me.
(Not sure who wrote it, someone posted it on my facebook page)

As for songs..
Karen Taylor-Good - "Precious Child" (played at the funeral)
Watermark - "Glory Baby"
Casting Crowns - "Praise you in this storm"

And a few that aren't directly about childloss but I love to listen too..(and make me cry)
Carrie Underwood - Temporary Home ( played on radio as DH and I drove to hospital to start induction process after finding out Aiden had passed)
Rascal Flatts - I won't let go (me and DHs song)
Rascal Flatts - its not supposed to go like that
Danny Gokey - "I will not say goodbye"
Steve Wariner - Holes in the floor of heaven"
Me: 29 (Nicole) :love: DH: 31
DS#1: 6.4.05
DS#2: :angel:@ 39 weeks. (3.11.11)
DD#1: 3.16.12
Image Image
trevorsmommy2
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 1103
Joined: Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:00 am

Re: Stories, poems, songs to help with grief

Postby going.goofy » Sun Dec 15, 2013 10:41 pm

I found this poem whilst reading the blog of a mother that lost her baby girl who had anencephaly. It really touched me and I thought I would share.

The Mind and Heart of a Mother
By Stacy Aube

Searching down deep to try to explain
How I feel in my heart, to put words to the pain
My mind seems to know what it wants me to write,
But with each logical thought, my heart puts up a fight

My mind says "this is how God meant it to be"
My heart cries back "but what about me?"
My mind says "don't worry, it will all be fine,
Just trust in the Lord and give it some time"

But with so much love and pain so deep
With empty arms, no baby to keep
You cannot reason with a mother's heart
When she and her baby are torn apart

Answers of truth may help my mind,
But for my heart, there are no words you could find
Just 12 short inches from one to the other
But there are miles betweenthe mind and heart of a mother



This is a link to her blog
http://thegiftofrachelslife.blogspot.com
Me(Gemma)-22 DH-25

DS 2yrs 23/1/2012 :babyb:
Image

Tuesday 26 November 2013 :bfp:

Jaida 28/7/2014
Image
going.goofy
Hot Mama
Hot Mama
 
Posts: 242
Joined: Tue Oct 01, 2013 10:16 am

Re: Stories, poems, songs to help with grief

Postby mrsm44 » Mon Nov 10, 2014 9:14 pm

These poems sounded like they helped you all very much...does anyone have any that may help someone that is not religious?
Image

November 6th, 2014- NIPT results; decreased risk (1 in 13,000), and It's a Girl!!
mrsm44
Star Member
Star Member
 
Posts: 266
Joined: Tue Oct 01, 2013 9:44 pm

Previous

Return to Pregnant After a Loss