my therapist's thoughts on my anxiety

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my therapist's thoughts on my anxiety

Postby NinaBear » Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:35 am

I told my therapist about the pg last night (only my second time seeing her), and explained all the steps I've taken to ensure a healthy pregnancy this time around (b6 and vitamin C, gaining ten pounds, reducing bfing to 4 times a day), and how I was soooo relieved the new OB took my blood to test for progesterone yesterday, and then I explained how I was feeling guilty for not pushing harder for testing with the last baby since I was worried about low progesterone then too and the OB had just said not to worry about it, that maybe I could have saved the baby although in my head I know it was too late and there's nothing I could have done.

I then asked for tips for overcoming the anxiety I feel with this pregnancy.

The therapist said it is very very important for me to recognize that all of this anxiety, every bit of it, goes back to the m/c. She said that since it's only been 6 weeks since the m/c that I'm still struggling to cope with that loss and it's manifesting itself in the form of anxiety over this pg. She said it will help if I just sit with the sadness over the last baby once in a while instead of trying to just compartmentalize it and get over it. She said when I'm thinking "oh I'm so worried about this baby" I should really be thinking "oh I'm so sad I lost the last baby."

I was bawling my eyes out during the appointment, and I really think she is right though I thought I had come to terms with everything but it's clear now I was wrong. As she knows I'm religious she said that when I'm getting anxious to tell myself to Let go and Let God, as I've done all I can do to nurture this baby and it's in God's hands now.

She said it is totally normal for my emotions to be all over the place right now, which was good to hear.

I was not anxious AT ALL with the last pregnancy, when the OB said not to worry about progesterone I just let it go. But now I'm sooooo anxious about this one, and I think the therapist is right that it stems from the m/c.

Part of me feels sad and guilty because sometimes I catch myself thinking "I don't want this baby, I want the one I lost! It wasn't supposed to be this way!!!" though I do want this baby and I know it's just that I'm sad for the one I lost and feeling guilty for wanting this one since the only way I could have it is by losing the other one.

Anyways, I thought it might help some of you girls to hear what my therapist said as I know a lot of you are likely dealing with similar emotions. The last thing I want to do is dwell on the sadness of the loss but I have a feeling it's what needs to be done to help me feel happy for this pregnancy.
Me: 26, DH: 27, Emma: Born 10/9/08, Brendan: Born 10/30/10
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Postby bernababe » Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:05 am

I also have/had these issues and still feel this way sometimes. We had a late loss in 2007(22 weeks) and then a 6 week loss after fertility treatment in 2009 so I know how hearbroken you are over your baby.

The best thing I did this pregnancy was when I felt that I was getting anxious or worried I just clear my mind and think if Gods hands holding my little baby in them. I just pray in my hand "Please God hold my baby in your hands and keep him safe." This helps alot because then I am giving it to God to take care of. This helps because i KNOW i am doing everything I can for this baby and when I do this it is like God takes the burdens away from me and keeps my baby safe :) I hope this helps...

Good luck and may God bless you and your baby and keep him/her safe and healthy!
DD- 10yrs
DS2-3 yrs
Due in december! EDD 12/31/2013
Our angel Kyle Ethan 07/2007 @ 24wks
m/c 5weeks 4days July 2009
m/c 5weeks April 2011
Baby Fiona due 12/31/2013
PCOS dx 2009


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Postby roxanne » Thu Mar 04, 2010 8:40 pm

My heart goes out to you both.

Please read a post called "A Nice Thought" several posts below this one...somehow brought me a little peace.
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