Had a stillbirth and scared that I'm pregnant now!

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Had a stillbirth and scared that I'm pregnant now!

Postby nina6720 » Thu Aug 19, 2010 12:34 pm

I had a stillborn son at 7 1/2 mo. in July 2010, I am 5 wks preg now. We wanted a baby more than ever after our loss but now I'm so anxious and nervous, I feel like I have to get past m/c stage up to 20 wks and still panic about after 20 wks because I was that far along last time. My doctor says it's rare to happen twice in a row, but I've read that it does. I'm stressing myself something terrible and I wish I knew later that I was preg so I didn't have such a long wait to worry! 8O
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Postby Tabithasmum » Thu Aug 19, 2010 1:21 pm

big hugs!!!! i am also preggers after stillbirth at 38weeks , and you're right its a damn long time to wait. I don't have any profound advice really i still worry everyday and like you as i get closer to the time my daughter died i'm sure i will get worse. I hope you have a good doc because thats helped me alot so far. i hope you can relax a little. Keep in touch!
Last edited by Tabithasmum on Thu Aug 19, 2010 1:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby macleesy » Thu Aug 19, 2010 1:24 pm

Oh Hun, being pregnant after loss is never easy. You will never again have that ignorant bliss that other preggos have. But Big Congrats on your new pregnancy and welcome to the roller-coaster of emotions that is pregnancy after loss. It is ok to feel anger, fear, sadness, fear, resentment, fear, excitement, fear, happiness, fear any emotion you want to - just make sure you are kind to yourself, talk to your primary care provider about your fears and if they don't listen and respect you, get another until you find one you are happy with.

I found this little piece of advice somewhere that helps me when I feel darkest
When the going gets rough, you have a choice:

You can fill these pregnant days with worry and fear and tears, or you can fill them with hope, happiness, and love. Your memories of this pregnancy, no matter how it ends, are being built. Do your best to have some sweet moments where only your love for your baby overwhelms you, and not just fear of the future.

This is what we moms have to learn to do--be strong, stay constant, and breathe deeply. You have already been through the worst and survived. You are going to get through this. I promise.


and just remember your little angel brought you a rainbow!
Lisa
Erin Nicole19 Dec 07
Annah Paige 2 Jan 11
Connor John 26 May to 7 Aug 09
My beautiful angel. :angel: So far from my reach, but so close to my heart.

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Postby Tabithasmum » Mon Aug 23, 2010 1:53 am

awww macleesy you always say the right things!! you even made me feel better!
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Postby nina6720 » Thu Aug 26, 2010 4:12 pm

Thank you both for the advice and the quote made me cry, I really miss my son, he would be a month old this coming Sunday. I am grateful for everyone's kind words & thoughts. As you know, nothing stops my worries and even the doctor said a m/c is never out of the question. I have days I'm really excited and other days where I check every time I use the bathroom for blood. It's terrible that we have these things happen because it really does take away the bliss of being pregnant! My husband is even trying not to be so excited because he was so let down before. He is very helpful though now. :wink:
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Postby Tabithasmum » Thu Aug 26, 2010 5:53 pm

i'm still checking thr tp for blood and when there's none i'm convinced its a mmc...so you're not alone!!. My daughter would have been 10months old now and i miss her too...and yes the worry ! ahhhh this is going to be a long journey! everyday that goes past we are a step closer to having a healthy living baby.
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Postby nina6720 » Fri Aug 27, 2010 10:41 am

Not that it's a good thing you check too, but I'm glad to hear I'm not just being crazy! Congrats anyway you made it pretty close to the end of the m/c stage! I wish you the best, no one should have to be so worried through an entire 9 mo. I already went on Amazon and bought a heart monitor and kick tracker due to my being paranoid! I'm ready!
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