"Are you really pregnant this time?"

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"Are you really pregnant this time?"

Postby Beckster » Sat Mar 12, 2011 4:46 pm

I had a miscarriage in November at 11 weeks (very sudden, we saw the heartbeat at 8 weeks and all was great), and now I'm 5 weeks pregnant.

We told our families already, and I'm getting different vibes from them this time.

Last time they were really excited and congratulating us and asking how I'm feeling to the point that it was kind of annoying.

But now, nothing... My dad actually said, "Are they sure you're pregnant this time?" WHO'S THEY? The sticks I peed on, the fact that I'm not having my period, and my fertility charts. Yeah, they're really sure, and I actually was pregnant before.

Part of me is glad they aren't annoying me. Saying, "I'm not feeling well, but that's ok because I'm not supposed to" every day gets old, but isn't there a middle ground somewhere?

I'm sure the miscarriage was emotionally hard on them too, but seriously? I feel like I need support more now than ever, and nothing other than treating me like I wasn't actually pregnant for almost 3 months.

I'm glad I have a good husband and close friends to help me get through this.
:angel: November 1, 2010 at 11w 1d

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Postby OS1 » Sat Mar 12, 2011 7:04 pm

Sorry that you're going through this. I can't say I understand exactly how you feel. I had a m/c in June around 9 weeks and it was hard. I think my family was an emotional wreck because of how we took it. Which was good because we needed that then.

When we got pregnant the month after I felt like the doctors thought we were nuts and soon I thought I was to lol.

The only person we told right away was my mom and we waited to tell eveybody else until I was 10 weeks and by then some close family members thought that I was.

If I were you I would go and talk to your mom (if you guys are close). If not then a close family member that you can share how you feel with. It's important for them to be there for you this time around even more. A lot of us are scared or nervous after the fact and that extra hug or ear means the world.

& Yes it is great to have a wonderful man at home with great support!! I hope you feel better soon and things start to look up.
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Postby Beckster » Sat Mar 12, 2011 8:03 pm

Thanks!
:angel: November 1, 2010 at 11w 1d

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Postby zohbeeeee » Sun Mar 13, 2011 12:58 am

That is terrible that your family would say that to you. But I am guessing they do not mean anything hateful by it. Just sounds like they can use some tact.

I found that after I had my miscarriage no one really wanted to talk about it anymore. I really felt the need to talk and I could tell it made my family uncomfortable. Now that I am almost in my third trimester that is all a distant memory.

My guess is that your family is very worried and are just waiting for this pregnancy to establish itself.

Congrats on getting pregnant again.
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Postby Beckster » Sun Mar 13, 2011 3:54 am

Thanks, it seems the getting pregnant part is easy for me, and I know it's hard for a lot of people, so I'll take what I can get.
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Postby Charese » Mon Mar 14, 2011 10:29 am

I agree with the other posters. Perhaps that they want to be sure that everything is okay just like you want to be sure as well. My husband and I just experienced a m/c and d/c almost 4 wks ago. It will be 4wks on Friday. We're hoping that we can get pregnant, if we aren't already, and be able to move on. Our family has been very supportive, mainly on my side of the family and my husband is very close with my mother and father. So it seems everyone is cheering us on and hoping that we'll be pregnant quickly. Right now... I'm in my two week wait....
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Postby leelobdell » Sun Apr 17, 2011 10:38 am

I'm sorry that your family is being so clueless. Mine was the same way. I had a missed m/c when I was 11 weeks as well. My family never acknowledges the loss that I had. They feel that since the pregnancy didn't result in a baby, it didn't count. It's good that you have a supportive man. Thats so important. Good luck.
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