So much anxiety :(

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So much anxiety :(

Postby LaurensMom » Mon May 09, 2011 10:31 pm

I had a loss at 9 weeks back in February of 2010 and then a very early loss in July of 2010. I am now pregnant again and was feeling really good about things in the beginning but I am having nightmares and horrible anxiety of the same thing happening again. I am still peeing on IC's and over-analyzing every line, expecting the worst to happen. I don't know how to get out of this vicious cycle. Did anyone deal with this after becoming pregnant after a loss? I have been praying and telling myself to stop the testing but it's like a horrible addiction and only makes me feel worse. I can't wait until I start having symptoms or something that will make me "feel" pregnant.
Mary 32 DH 34
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#1-Lauren- 05-01-07
#2-James - 02-21-09
#3 Joey- 07-09-12
Due with #4 (EDD 01-20-15)
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Postby macleesy » Mon May 09, 2011 11:02 pm

Mary Congratulations!! So happy for you!

re: anxiety Sadly welcome to the world of pregnancy post-loss, sans blissful ignorance. Once you have lost, you never really fully relax about your pregnancy, because you know that these things don't just happen to other people. Hopefully you will be able to relax once you get past 9 weeks, or at least once you are out of the first trimester. But it is possible you might carry some level of anxiety for the whole pregnancy. The key is keeping it under control, and from ruining your pregnancy experience. A quote I read somewhere that resonated with me during my pregnancy with Annah

When the going gets rough, you have a choice:

You can fill these pregnant days with worry and fear and tears, or you can fill them with hope, happiness, and love. Your memories of this pregnancy, no matter how it ends, are being built. Do your best to have some sweet moments where only your love for your baby overwhelms you, and not just fear of the future.

This is what we moms have to learn to do--be strong, stay constant, and breathe deeply. You have already been through the worst and survived. You are going to get through this. I promise.


HTH and praying for a sticky little healthy bean with a strong HB for you xx
Lisa
Erin Nicole19 Dec 07
Annah Paige 2 Jan 11
Connor John 26 May to 7 Aug 09
My beautiful angel. :angel: So far from my reach, but so close to my heart.

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Postby Baby4Staci » Tue May 10, 2011 7:23 am

Mary, I had a loss at 9 weeks with a missed miscarriage that happened at about 8 weeks when the baby's heart stopped. That was right before I got pregnant with Mason. All i can tell you is that the whole time i was pregnant with Mason I worried. I wish i could tell you everything is going to be ok but honestly we just cant say that.. you never know. Just like you said before, live in the moment and know that right now everything is just the way it should be!!

Big hugs.. i know exactly how you are feeling.. <3
Mason Anthony born 1/9/07
Savannah Ray born 5/9/09
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Postby zohbeeeee » Thu May 12, 2011 6:46 am

Mary: I was the same way after my loss last June. It was compounded by the fact that I had been doing fertility treatments just to get to the point of being pregnant. Those first weeks are hard and there is not much you can do to alleviate the anxiety. I will say that as I started to feel symptoms at about 8 weeks it helped a little. Once I felt the baby kick regularly around 18 weeks 80 percent of the anxiety vanished. Even now that I am 33 weeks I still worry about stillbirth at the end or something happening during birth.

What I tried to tell myself is to just relish in the fact that I was pregnant now and there was no reason that I was not going to remain pregnant. Try to keep busy and if the anxiety gets too bad speak to your doctor about it.

Congrats and best of luck!
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Postby monesue » Tue May 24, 2011 12:06 pm

I think you will feel anxiety until you are in the second trimester. I kept peeing on sticks for ages! I was lucky enough to get a scan at just under 6 weeks and again at 7 weeks which reassured me enough to stop poas! I then paid to have a us at 9 weeks and will get another one next thursday at 12 weeks. I'm not sure I could've coped without the us which offered me some respite amongst the worry. Although can I say that it's only fleeting respite!! Try to take each day as it comes and remember there's nothing you can do to change the outcome. It's already predetermind if this is your take home baby. I really really hope it is. Good luck xxx
me - susan (33) OH- Paul (34) DS Nicholas (5)

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Postby LaurensMom » Tue May 24, 2011 12:08 pm

Unfortunately the anxiety came from intuition because this pregnancy was very abnormal. Going in for a D&C tomorrow... This will be my third loss.
Mary 32 DH 34
Hypothyroid, PCOS and MFI
#1-Lauren- 05-01-07
#2-James - 02-21-09
#3 Joey- 07-09-12
Due with #4 (EDD 01-20-15)
Image
:angel: 9w 1d (02-21-10) d&c
:angel: 4w 6d (07-24-10)
:angel: D&C (05-25-11) confirmed molar
pregnancy
09-11- Chemical pregnancy
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Postby macleesy » Tue May 24, 2011 9:58 pm

I'm so sorry Mary :( That is rough, 3 little angels
Lisa
Erin Nicole19 Dec 07
Annah Paige 2 Jan 11
Connor John 26 May to 7 Aug 09
My beautiful angel. :angel: So far from my reach, but so close to my heart.

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Postby zohbeeeee » Mon May 30, 2011 9:52 pm

So sorry for your loss.
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