DDC

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DDC

Postby armywife1980 » Mon Jan 02, 2012 4:32 pm

I am starting to get more and more paranoid about m/c again. I m/c early in Nov 10 at roughly 5w3d. I was feeling a little more secure as time goes by but it seems like women in my DDC are suffering loses all over the place the past week or two. I feel so horrible for them and can empathize with what they're going through. Unfortunately, the little bit of security I was feeling after seeing my LO hb is shattered. I have another appt on the 11th and will be 10w6d. I know things can go wrong at any point but I was feeling so good about this one. I'm blessed with 3 lovely children already and have suffered the 1 loss. I know it seems selfish to be thinking of myself at a time when others are suffering but I can't help but get more than a little freaked out. Thanks for listening to my rant.
Brandie (33) DH (32) Twin Boys (15) DD#1 (11) DD#2 (1yr)
Alyssa Marie 7/20/12 @ 7lb 11oz & 21in long
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Postby ambernicole8484 » Mon Jan 02, 2012 5:39 pm

:hugs: I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Is there something going on that's giving you this feeling? I'm praying everything goes good for you at your next appointment. :hugs:
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Postby corey4 » Mon Jan 02, 2012 6:22 pm

I totally understand how you feel.
I had an early loss too and am terrified. It really sucks that we cannot be blissfully ignorant anymore.
Your DDC is August, correct? Oh my goodness, they have been hit hard. I feel so bad for them.
I want so badly to tell my daughter about this pregnancy because she is going to be so flippin ecstatic but I can't bring myself to do it yet.
At first I thought after my 2nd beta, if it comes back good tomorrow. Then I thought thats still too early. Then I thought after I see the heartbeat on an early U/S then I think that's too early. Then I thought after the first tri, but I've seen so many women have losses in the early second tri so I think that may be too early.
I know right where your at, it's hard not to worry.
I just keep telling myself that if this is meant to be it will be and there is nothing I can do to make it otherwise.
Hang in there hun.
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Postby armywife1980 » Mon Jan 02, 2012 7:12 pm

Amber- Hi love. How you feeling? Just the whole m/c last year and then the spotting freaked me out. It's to the pt I hardly want to dtd with dh but don't tell him why cause I don't want him to think I'm crazy. Having a loss no matter how early takes away the innocence from pregnancy and you never get it bk. Before my m/c I always though :bfp:=baby and then was slapped in the face. I've been anxious since getting the bfp but it was getting better but my poor little ddc is getting socked with losses lately. It's so sad and just reminds me of how easy it is to assume everything is ok. My mod was so sweet too but she was measuring a few days behind but had a healthy hb. I'm lucky that I'm measuring spot on so far and hoping that's still the case. It's just scary seeing so many people lose their babies.

Corey- GL with the 2nd beta. My kiddos already know as it was too hard to hide it from them due to their ages (13.5yrs and 9.5yrs) You are correct, my ddc is August and they're all such lovely women. Are you in September? I have 3 healthy kiddos and was told the m/c was probably a one time thing and that I should be fine but I don't think that the worry ever goes away. I sometimes feel like I let the paranoia ruin the joy of my pregnancy. What was your 1st beta and at what dpo?
Brandie (33) DH (32) Twin Boys (15) DD#1 (11) DD#2 (1yr)
Alyssa Marie 7/20/12 @ 7lb 11oz & 21in long
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Postby ambernicole8484 » Mon Jan 02, 2012 7:26 pm

I'm feeling okay, would be better if I could see what's going on in there. I kind of understand your being worried (I say kind of because I've never had a m/c that I know of). I think the fact that I got my BFP with Soy is making me nervous and paranoid, like I didn't deserve it and it's going to be taken away, but I'm trying to keep it under control. I'm so paranoid of jinxing myself and every little cramp or spot of blood has me on edge. I keep having to talk myself out of going to the ER. I get to go on the 10th so I don't have much longer. I've seen and met a lot of sweet ladies on here that have had a m/c and it scares me. I saw Kara's and it breaks my heart. I stalked her on TWW and on her blog.

I've been trying not to let my own worries get to me, but they're there, even if I don't acknowledge them. I was really excited to go to the doctor and take dd in with us to see the baby and hear the heartbeat, but now we're planning on me going in first and her waiting out in the waiting room with dh. Once I know everything is okay he's going to bring her in.
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Postby armywife1980 » Mon Jan 02, 2012 7:38 pm

That's a great idea about having hh wait with her first before you bring her in. The Army ob clinic doesn't even let kids in so I'll be taking dd to the 3d u/s before dh deploys. You do deserve this baby and certainly earned it. Taking the soy may or may not have made the difference. Either way your bean is a miracle and a blessing. I can't even begin to imagine how anxious you are after ttc for so long. I wish I had my own u/s machine lol. I'd be on it constantly. I've thought about getting a sonoline b doppler. I've heard they're really good. I just don't want to get flack from dh about it. That's ok, he leave for a month in Feb for deployment training so I'll get it then. They're like 65 on ebay. I'm pretty confident with finding hb as I spent 3 months on a machine with the twins. I have a great stethoscope from nursing school I can use in my third tri but a doppler now will make me feel tons better to hear little one's hb in morning bf work and at night before bed. I think as moms we're always going to worry no matter what. Are you still spotting? I had some last week after dtd twice in a row. No more of that!! lol and have a little cramping off and on still but not as bad as in the beginning.
Brandie (33) DH (32) Twin Boys (15) DD#1 (11) DD#2 (1yr)
Alyssa Marie 7/20/12 @ 7lb 11oz & 21in long
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Postby ambernicole8484 » Mon Jan 02, 2012 7:49 pm

I haven't told anyone else about my thought on the soy. I've been trying to push it from my thoughts because I tend to worry myself sick if I don't. Plus, I'm crazy and feel like I will jinx myself. I wonder if they'll let dd in where I'm going? I'm hoping they will so long as things are okay. She's terribly excited about seeing the baby and hearing its heartbeat.

That makes two of us that wants an u/s machine! I've also been looking at a doppler but it says you can only hear the heartbeat after 10 weeks.

I haven't spotted today, but I did yesterday after a bm. I read that that can be normal so I'm assuming that's what it is. It does concern me that the spotting was red and actually dripped out, but it stopped shortly after the bm. The 10th can't get here fast enough.

I've also read that spotting can be normal after dtd. FX things go well for both of us. You'll be going to your next appointment the day after me. Will you be getting another u/s at your appointment? FX your mind can find some peace so you can enjoy your pregnancy. :hugs:
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DD 13
DS 2

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Postby armywife1980 » Mon Jan 02, 2012 7:56 pm

Spotting after a bm has happened to me and it lasted all night into the morning. That's how I ended up with my u/s at 6wk4d. I freaked when i was still spotting that morning before work and went to urgent care. They were better than my ob clinic. My spotting was red too and that's why I freaked. I will be getting another u/s so hopefully that will help as I'll be 1day shy of 11wks and closer to the beginning of my second tri. Everything seems so precarious this early on doesn't it? I never felt this anxious before with my others. Now I'm a nervous Nelly over every cramp and scrutinizing the tp everytime I go to the bathroom. Fx everything goes good at your apt on the 10th. You have to update me as soon as possible. If you're ever worried you can always pm me and we can talk through it. I love my tww friends. You guys are the best:) Hugs hon
Brandie (33) DH (32) Twin Boys (15) DD#1 (11) DD#2 (1yr)
Alyssa Marie 7/20/12 @ 7lb 11oz & 21in long
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Postby ambernicole8484 » Mon Jan 02, 2012 8:15 pm

I will update as soon as possible and the same goes for you. I feel the same way about you and my other tww friends. I'm not sure what I would do without you guys. I'd really be a crazy mess if I didn't have you all to share my worries and excitement with. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to as well.
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