Help I need support

A special place to talk about your pregnancy after a loss.

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Help I need support

Postby missingaustin » Wed Feb 29, 2012 8:12 am

I'm sitting here crying because I'm so scared! I found out about a week ago that I'm pregnant again after loosing my son on August 31. I don't know why ifeel so sad?????? I am ready to go on this journey again but I don't know how I will handle another loss. I don't even have the courage to call the midwives office. PLEASE tell me how you all deal with all of the emotions!
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Postby aaronsmummy » Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:40 am

it is only natural to have conflicting emotions in this situation. allow yourself to grieve the loss of your son and allow yourself to feel nerves for your current pregnancy...nobody is made of stone, people have feelings and they are better out than bottled up! of course you are scared of losing another pregnancy and perhaps feel that this one will never replace the son you lost (which it won't)

you will always have your son as long as he remains with you in your memories and heart and you can tell his sibling all about him when they grow up. remember...in heaven he'll be at peace.

think of this pregnancy completely seperately, it is a new and different experience with a new child that you are embarking on...i too miscarried at 8 weeks and am currently 5 weeks pregnant, i too have these feelings and can't completely enjoy this pregnancy until i go for my 1st ultrasound where i'm sure i'll find more peace of mind.

talk as much as you can in the meantime to ladies like ourselves and get the support you need to continue over the coming weeks, stress won't help your new little one but crying won't hurt if thats what you need. just keep worries to a minimum until you have a better picture of whats going on!

keep me updated on how youre doing!! :sticky:
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Postby Possum » Sat Mar 17, 2012 5:21 am

Missing --

Hang in there - I will be praying for you. I'm in a similar situation - having lost three in less than a year (and now barely pregnant again).

I read an article recently that said mothers carry little 'bits' of the genes of their children (all of them) with them the rest of their lives. I don't know about you but I found that vaguely comforting to know they are still 'with' me in a small way.

Just remember - being happy about the new pregnancy and/or looking forward to the new baby is NOT a betrayal of any kind nor does it cancel out your grief for the one you lost.

Praying for you --

--Possum
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Postby HawkeyeGirl18 » Sat Mar 17, 2012 1:36 pm

I can also relate to what it's like to be pregnant after losses and the worry that comes with it. After three miscarriages and losing my triplets to incompetent cervix just before 20 weeks, I was extremely nervous to be pregnant for a fifth time. I wanted to be pregnant again, but like you didn't think I could handle another loss. Thankfully, things finally worked out and I had my son a few weeks ago.

One thing that helped get me through the pregnancy without completely losing my mind was a very supportive OB and going to a support group. The worry never completely went away though until I was able to hold a healthy baby in my arms. Hang in there and know that there are several wonderful women on this site to answer questions and support you along the way. I'll be praying that you have a healthy pregnancy.
Me: 28 DH: 30
My blog: http://ttcwithpcosrpl.blogspot.com
8w3d :angel: 5w0d :angel: 4w3d :angel:
19w4d :angel: :angel: :angel: Triplets lost to IC 1/7/11: Cadyn (with us for for 20 minutes), Adalyn & Mikayla (born sleeping)

:hb: Our little miracle Mason arrived on February 22, 2012! :hb:

Expecting TWINS June 2014 after just one round of treatments! :shock:

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Postby missingaustin » Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:12 pm

Thank you everyone! I've been having some unexplained bleeding which lead to an ultrasound at 7 weeks and I seen the little beans Heart beating!!!! I am 9 weeks now and am going to see my midwife next week. I also feel like I always have my baby boy in my heart :) Congrats to all of you as well!!! I bet holding that snugglie little baby is a great feeling.
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Postby TexasAngel1979 » Thu Mar 29, 2012 8:18 pm

I feel the same way! I had a mm/c in December. My bean only survived to the 7th week...I found out at my 12 week appt. I want to be excited, but then, I'm so scared. Such confusing emotions. I got my bfp on Monday and I think I'm around 4 weeks.
Me-35 My love -28
Married 10-20-12
:bfp: Oct. 2011
:angel: missed m/c @ 7 weeks 12-12-2011
:bfp: 3-27-2012
:angel: m/c 4-07-2012
5-9-2012 Uterine septum removal surgery
:bfp: 8/8/12
:hb: 7 weeks 152
IT'S A BOY!!!
Wyatt born 4-2-13 at 37 weeks 6lbs 14oz
:bfp: 7/10/14 EDD 3/23/15
IT'S A :babyb: 10/9/14!!!!


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Postby missingaustin » Fri Apr 13, 2012 9:54 am

Congrats on the BFP!!! I'm starting to realize that crying kinda feels like a bit of stress relief??? Sounds weird to anyone who hasn't had a loss but when I talk to ladies who have they say they understand. I will be 12 weeks on Sunday and so far so good!! Next U/S on the 26th and I can't wait.
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