Who else is terrified??

A special place to talk about your pregnancy after a loss.

Moderators: B Michaelson, southernbelle, jessm, 1daysoon, reapage, Honey Bunny, unaffected, maddy, TrebleLily

Who else is terrified??

Postby waitingtobemommy » Wed May 30, 2012 12:00 pm

I know there's a TON of you out there who have experienced a loss(es) and are now pregnant.

I find it really easy to relate and connect with others who have experienced losses, as have I.

Who else is currently pregnant after a loss, and terrified???!
Me (Jen): 34, DH: 35, DS: 1.5 via FET after IVF treatments

Owen Matthew born 1/17/13!!
Surprise natural BFP for #2: 8/3/14!!
#2 is a GIRL arriving 4/2/15!!

Image
User avatar
waitingtobemommy
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 871
Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 1:00 am
Location: Colorado

Postby nikki2246 » Wed May 30, 2012 1:30 pm

I had 2 mc's and mc'ed my daughters twin at 9 weeks...and I was terrified. I mean literally terrified the whole 9 months...you just get by day by day. I had weekly ultra sounds from 5 weeks to 12 weeks. I used the home doppler starting at 10 weeks and then once I was in the 3rd tri I had ultrasound all the time because I was high risk due to the mc's and the hemmoraging that caused me to lose the twin...but here is the thing. I finally realized that spending my days on pins and needles was driving me crazy. That after everything I went through to get pregnant ( as you have) I was missing out on the joy of it because I was always waiting for something bad to happen. I was that pregnant girl who loved every second of actually being pregnant but also analyzed evereything...

You have every right to worry-how could you not. But at some point you have to let go. You have no control over whaty is going to happen so enjoy every minute. Your not given what you can't handle and every day is a day closer to meeting that miracle...
User avatar
nikki2246
StickyDuster
StickyDuster
 
Posts: 131
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2009 1:00 am

Postby MaybeLater » Wed May 30, 2012 5:56 pm

I've had 3 losses. One at 15 weeks, one at 10 weeks, and one at 4 weeks. So I am super scared of another one. Like the PP states, I am going to try my best to enjoy my pregnancy no matter how long it lasts! I'm sending tons of sticky dust over everyone's way!!!!
Me (Shan): 25
DH: 27
DD:5
DS: 1

Surprise :bfp: 6/25/13!
Image


"Tomorrow is just a day away. " -Annie
User avatar
MaybeLater
Angel
Angel
 
Posts: 490
Joined: Sat May 26, 2012 12:00 am

Postby waitingtobemommy » Wed May 30, 2012 6:22 pm

Great advice ladies, thanks for the reminder!
Me (Jen): 34, DH: 35, DS: 1.5 via FET after IVF treatments

Owen Matthew born 1/17/13!!
Surprise natural BFP for #2: 8/3/14!!
#2 is a GIRL arriving 4/2/15!!

Image
User avatar
waitingtobemommy
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 871
Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 1:00 am
Location: Colorado

Postby HappyGoLucky » Thu May 31, 2012 9:40 am

I remember how crazy hard it was the first trimester, I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy (if I had one, hehe).

When I was about 8-9 weeks along I went into KMart to get some elastic waistband pants and I was having cramps so hard that I just left the store.
I was thinking to myself 'who am I kidding, there's no way I'll be able to keep this baby' but of course I did, and she's perfect.

I guess my point is try to go easy on yourself (advice I should had taken) and be optimistic.

Very soon you'll be far enough along to get a home doppler and you can check in on your LO a couple times a week, or even more, if that makes you feel better :)

Then those kicks that follow soon after that are just incredible at helping you realize it's real and it's happening..

if you're like me, tho, you won't really relax until you're holding your LO, of course that's when a whole new type of worry sets in :D

What you're dealing with now is just part of being a good mommy, and a momma bear too. Having losses just intensifies it I think.
Image
HappyGoLucky
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 1302
Joined: Wed Dec 15, 2010 1:00 am

Postby MorghanW » Fri Jun 01, 2012 10:34 am

I know how you feel. I just got a bfp this past Saturday while on vacation. I don't have any children, but I had an ectopic 7 years ago. I only have 1 tube left, so if I lose this one to another ectopic, that's it. I'm not a candidate for IVF because estrogen therapies give me stroke-like symptoms. :(
MorghanW
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 1104
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2012 12:00 am

Postby jleroux30 » Tue Jun 05, 2012 10:55 am

It was good to read all of your thoughts on this topic.
I had a m/c in January at 8 weeks and I just got my bfp on Sunday. I was spotting for 3 days before hand, sure I was getting AF. Got my BFP and then decided it was implantation spotting. I'm still having some spotting- and I'm working hard to keep up the positive thoughts while I wait for my beta results. Its hard not to rack my brain of every symptom from my m/c and compare...but that's not really going to help me much now, is it!?
User avatar
jleroux30
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 1814
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2012 12:00 am

Postby alinat » Tue Jun 05, 2012 3:26 pm

I am absolutely terrified. I've had three miscarriages in three years of ttc. I keep trying to tell myself that this will be my take home baby. I have hardly any symptoms which is even scarier. I think I need to stop "Googling" everything and try to relax and enjoy this pregnancy. As nikki2246 says, you have no control over what will be.
Me:41 (Alison) :love: DH:32 (no children of his own)
DD 18
DD 16
DS 11

TTC since June 2009
TCM and acupuncture for 2 years
:angel: July 2010
:angel: September 2011
:angel: January 2012
:angel: August 2012 - 16w4d - Matthew - Complications due to Trisomy 21
DOR and poor egg quality due to age :(
IVF # 1 :bfn:
IVF#2 :bfn:
IVF#3 Retrieval set for Monday 24th February!
Two rounds of prescribed Clomid 50mg - both :bfn:
Image
alinat
Hot Mama
Hot Mama
 
Posts: 197
Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2010 12:00 am

Postby juju_rahrah » Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:45 am

It's such a relief to find others that know exactly how I feel right now.

I also had an ectopic 4 years ago, lost my left tube. Did 3 failed IUIs and 1 IVF (which resulted in a chemical pregnancy). Then suddenly against all odds, we naturally conceived, I am now 19 weeks pg.

But I have to say the paranoia has never left me. When I got that long awaited BFP, I was happy and terrified. I was so so afraid of having another ectopic, even though the doctor assured me it wasn't.

And then once the fear of ectopic was eliminated, I had nightmares of miscarrying at different trimesters. :( I try to stay positive but it's hard to control your subconscious!

I'm trying to enjoy the pregnancy but I can't help but jump every time something's a little off. Just a few weeks ago I got this weird discharge and rushed to the ER. Today I got a bloody-ish discharge and I'm racing to the ER again.

I feel like I'm becoming a regular at the ER and I'm embarrassed but better safe than sorry right? :oops: They say everything's alright but I have trust issues which I blame on my ectopic pg, in which the doctors failed to notice something was off until it was too late.
User avatar
juju_rahrah
Member
Member
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:00 am

Postby Jaggers » Sat Jun 16, 2012 7:30 am

I have good moments and bad but I know if this baby makes it I wont want the dread hanging over me the whole time.
DD1 9/2006
M/C @ 7 weeks
DS1 2/2013
EDD 9/12/2015

ImageMake a pregnancy ticker
Jaggers
Girlfriend
Girlfriend
 
Posts: 1123
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2012 12:00 am


Return to Pregnant After a Loss