When do you tell daughter about new pregnancy?

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When do you tell daughter about new pregnancy?

Postby eggs#4 » Sat Apr 20, 2013 6:42 am

I'm nervous but all in all feeling a pretty good about this pregnancy. I even bought Christmas clothes and I'm only 5 weeks. I think this will be a long pregnancy!
Here is a lil background information.
We have two beautiful healthy girls and never would have imagined that I would be on this board. I had great pregnancies minus I seem to always go into labor at 32 weeks on the dot!
We got pregnant with our son September 2011 and at our 24 weeks that our son had many abnormalities that would eventually be diagnosed with VACTERL with hydrocephalus after birth. His problems were just too much for our little guy and he died at 10 days old. Best 10 days if my life! We will never know why he had these problems. Our amino came back fine and they did all kinds of DNA tests after he was born. It was so hard because on the outside he was perfect. Absolutely perfect. I had polyhydramnious with him so doctors said to wait to get pregnant for 8 months. I think it also had to do with my csection my scars are hip to hip. Very difficult csection.
Fast forward to December 2012 I find out we are pregnant again. I never got a period after goin off bc in November so we have no idea how far along but that one week blood test is negative and the following is positive bc I can a feeling I was. Tested positive 26 but miscarry on January 3. Devestated! However I never felt great about the pregnancy from the get go. Maybe my brain was trying to tell me something.

Here I am. Pregnant again for the third time in a year and cannot think about a third loss in a year. But like I said I feel really good about it. I feel like this is it, this baby is out take home baby but...... When do I tell my 5 year old? She keeps telling daddy and mommy to ask god for a baby. That what we tell her. That mommy and daddy have to say they want one and they ask god to put a baby in mommys belly. She even told our day care provider. I want to tell her so bad. But she hasn't had nightmares for only a few months since our son died and she never knew about the other baby. My oldest is old enough to know Its the five year old I don't know what to do. Any ideas appreciated!
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Re: When do you tell daughter about new pregnancy?

Postby Mandy333 » Sun Apr 21, 2013 5:24 pm

I am so sorry for your losses. I have a 4 year old DD and I had a mmc in November at 11 weeks. I had told my DD about that one and had to see her sad over that loss. This time I am waiting until we clear the first trimester. I am only 5 weeks right now. I too have a good feeling about a December baby! Here's to sticky ones.
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Re: When do you tell daughter about new pregnancy?

Postby Rosie-o » Tue Apr 23, 2013 12:19 am

So sorry for your loss :(

Our 2nd baby was stillborn at 20 weeks, we waited until 16 weeks to tell our 3 year old daughter I am pregnant again.
Me: 31
DH: 30
DD1: 2nd Feb 2010
:angel2: Sept 2011 @ 9 weeks
DD2: stillborn March 2012
DS: 31st Aug 2013
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Re: When do you tell daughter about new pregnancy?

Postby jeg260 » Tue Apr 23, 2013 6:33 am

Eggs#4, after reading your story, I just wish I could reach through the screen and hug you. How indescribably tough it is, and how amazing it is that we keep trying even after devastating loss. I am praying for you.

I have no advice about when to tell your five year old - after two losses, I am a bit shy about letting the news out, myself. I just got my BFP on Friday at 10DPO, and we are bless with a DS. I think he doesn't really get the idea of a sibling yet, so I am less concerned about this news for him. But I am probably not going to really talk about it until we are (I pray!) successfully out for the first trimester.

Sticky babydust to all of you reading this thread. xxo
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Re: When do you tell daughter about new pregnancy?

Postby bazil323 » Thu May 02, 2013 7:43 am

Just wanted to say I'm sorry for your losses but congratulations on the pregnancy! This is my first child (second pregnancy, first was an early miscarriage), so I have no idea what to say on when to tell your daughter. I can quote statistics about how low the risk of miscarriage is after a heartbeat is found (less than 5%), but it's hard to say whether that's "safe" enough to you because everyone is different. If it was me, I guess I'd wait until at least 8 or 9 weeks, but I know a lot of people wait until after the first trimester.
Recently had our first child and have been married since October 6, 2006. I'm 27 and DH 29.

First pregnancy chemical, January 31, 2013.

Got our BFP on March 6, 2013. EDC November 11. Born November 11, 2013!
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Re: When do you tell daughter about new pregnancy?

Postby eggs#4 » Thu May 02, 2013 7:10 pm

Thanks ladies for your words of wisdom! I appreciate it. We just keep talking about maybe we will have a baby for Christmas and how do you feel about that and so on.
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