Two Week Wait

A special place to talk about your pregnancy after a loss.
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hard time getting excited

Mon Jul 08, 2013 12:29 pm

Hi - I'm wondering if anyone else had difficulty being excited with a new BFP after a loss. I had a MC and D&C in November. I've been doing infertility treatments and had my first IUI in the middle of June. I got a BFP last week & my beta of 332 today confirmed it. I just don't feel excited - I feel like I don't believe it will stick. I'm hoping that maybe after seeing my levels go up & after an ultrasound or 2 I'll get excited. I just feel a little numb about it - and then I feel guilty feeling that way. I know I'm just being cautious in case something goes wrong again. Just wondering if this feeling has gone away for anyone else after some time.

Re: hard time getting excited

Tue Jul 09, 2013 2:10 pm

Hi mk1550,

First, congrats on your BFP! Second, sorry for your loss.

It's different for everyone, but I do think you will get excited after time. Dont' feel guilty. All of us with losses are just nervous and scared about the possibility. For me, I would say I was cautiously optimistic with this one.

I had a d&c in Feb and am now 11 weeks. I finally am feeling pretty good about this one after my appointment yesterday. Since you mc'ed at 9 weeks, you'll likely feel better when you make it past that point! With each milestone, I felt a little better...betas doubling, heartbeat, each u/s (I'm up to 4 now), etc. Yesterday, I saw my OB for the first time (was seeing the RE prior) and the ultrasound made it seem so much more real; the baby had grown quite a bit and was extremely active. Of course, I was nervous before we went and I still have fears, but now I finally feel like I relax a little more. I will get a little nervous awaiting test results and prior to the next u/s. However, I am feeling much more positive now.

Your beta is great and hopefully your next one will be even better. Just take it one day at a time and I hope with each milestone you'll be able to breathe a little sigh of relief.

Congrats again and don't get down on yourself for not being excited; it's natural.

Re: hard time getting excited

Tue Jul 16, 2013 4:22 am

Hi,

I completely understand where you are coming from. I had a natural MC at 11 weeks - the baby stopped growing at 7 weeks. It look me 4 weeks to MC. I wasn't aware the baby had stopped growing until I started bleeding and went for my first ultrasound.

I just got my BFP a few days ago. I am having a really hard time being excited for it. I am very worried that I will MC this one as well. I have an appointment with my doctor in a few days. I will insist on an early ultrasound to hear a heartbeat. I think I will relax a little once I hear that. The last baby didn't even have a heart beat.

Good Luck and let's stay positive :-)

Re: hard time getting excited

Sun Jul 21, 2013 7:47 am

I know exactly how you feel. While right away I was excited for the positive test shortly I felt guilty. I go back and forth. I feel guilty for being excited for having another son bc I'm afraid my son who died at ten days is being replaced even though I know in my heart he will never be replaced.

Take each day, one day at a time. You will be happy and sad and that's okay.

Re: hard time getting excited

Fri Aug 30, 2013 1:46 pm

I am absolutely having a hard time this baby is going to stick as well. I hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months =)
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