Anyone Else Feeling Like "We'll See..."?

A special place to talk about your pregnancy after a loss.

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Anyone Else Feeling Like "We'll See..."?

Postby mrsm44 » Mon Sep 01, 2014 9:35 pm

I don't mean to take my BFP for granted..not at all! I just feel so cautious to get excited. I'm not really stressed either, but I think my mom and MIL are wondering why I am not more excited. Our first son had Trisomy 13. He was lost at 21 weeks gestation. It's difficult for me to have any other point of view right now than "Yea, we'll see if we actually have a baby in 9 months". I really don't mean to be negative...I think it's somewhat of a defense mechanism. Nothing's guaranteed...and it's scary. I thought the first time, once I got past 13 weeks, it was all hunky dorey. Right. That doesn't mean anything anymore, apparently.
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November 6th, 2014- NIPT results; decreased risk (1 in 13,000), and It's a Girl!!
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Re: Anyone Else Feeling Like "We'll See..."?

Postby B Michaelson » Tue Sep 02, 2014 5:34 am

I felt the same way. I felt a little better with each scan but it wasn't until about 15 or 16 weeks that I completely relaxed.

It's a defense mechanism for sure. I had a hard time believing there was a baby in me and part of me was afraid to get too attached.

I also get that nervous feeling when a family member becomes pg. There has been too much loss, so it will be that way forever in our family I imagine.

I hope this LO of your is healthy and happy. Huge congrats on your rainbow!!
Me - 36
Hashimotos, JHS/EDS, ANA negative, 1 Fallopian tube
DH - 41
TTC #1 Aug 2012 - May 2014
DS - Born Jan 2015
TTC #2 since Aug 2016
May 2017 :bfp:

:angel: Our Angels :angel:
2004 - 7.5 weeks
Oct 2013 - 6w6d ruptured ectopic
Jan 2014 - Chemical

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Re: Anyone Else Feeling Like "We'll See..."?

Postby camronsmommy » Tue Sep 02, 2014 4:48 pm

First of all, congrats :)

I know the feeling all too well. It's so difficult after a loss, and the fact that anxiety and reoccurring dreams of my son (who passed 6 years ago) have returned...doesn't help!

I tried to relax after 12/13 weeks, but the reality is...i won't be 100% relaxed until our baby is home with us. I think that's because my boy was born at 35 weeks and still didn't make it. Like B said, every ultrasound helps, and every milestone feels like a little weight lifted. Yet...still fear the worst. My ob keeps a close eye on me and does what she can to try to ease my mind. *sigh* it's an uphill battle but we have to have faith!! We'll be just fine and so will our little beans :)

Will you have genetic testing done again?
It's a BOY!!!
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Re: Anyone Else Feeling Like "We'll See..."?

Postby mrsm44 » Tue Sep 02, 2014 6:14 pm

I am debating whether or not to. I had an amnio, and this told me that our son had Trisomy 13 chromosome abnormality. I am having my first appointment on Thursday, so I will bring my questions to the doctor's office, to help clarify what I want to do.
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November 6th, 2014- NIPT results; decreased risk (1 in 13,000), and It's a Girl!!
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Re: Anyone Else Feeling Like "We'll See..."?

Postby ekkotack » Thu Sep 11, 2014 11:36 am

i can totally relate to the "we'll see" attitude. it is impossible for me to get excited about this pregnancy, and in a way i'm already angry about the impending miscarriage that i just "know" will happen. I just try to talk to my husband and pray about it. I have more 4 long days until I get to have my ultrasound. But on a happier note........B!!!! your baby is already the size of a mango! holy cow! so so happy for you.
Ekko - 35
DH - 33
DD Ellis born 10/26/12

Angel Babies:
Oct 13 blighted ovum D&C
April 14 blighted ovum D&C

BFP #4 8/22/14
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Re: Anyone Else Feeling Like "We'll See..."?

Postby CyndiLooWhoo » Mon Apr 20, 2015 5:34 pm

I know this is an old post but it describes my mindset so perfectly that I needed to comment.

I found out 9 days ago that we're pregnant again after a mmc in January. This is my 7th pregnancy and I have two healthy sons.... So, yeah, I totally feel like, we'll see.

I think that I'll feel more positive after my first ultrasound, but I am so reluctant to give into the happy part of pregnancy. At least so far. I want to enjoy this pregnancy and this baby. I'm just not convinced that it's all real yet.
Cyn (40) DH (42)
DS1(6) DS2 (2)
DS3 due December 19th!

4 Angel Babies, most recently m/c at 8 weeks 1.29.15

4.11.15 BFP @ 12 dpo stick, Baby, stick!
cd 28 beta 327
cd 30 beta 907
5.6.15 :hb: 149 measuring 7 weeks 4 days
6.12.15 It's a BOY! :baby tumble:

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Re: Anyone Else Feeling Like "We'll See..."?

Postby Libellule » Tue Apr 21, 2015 6:28 am

I'm feeling the same way too. Just got my bfp at 9 dpo and now I'm 13 dpo. I just cannot feel excited about it after the first mc in feb. It makes me sad bc I want to enjoy being pregnant but after reading so many stories of infant losses at various gestational ages it freaks me out. I feel a bit sad that the first experience has "robbed" me of my joy. I'm not sure at what point this feeling will go away :(
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Re: Anyone Else Feeling Like "We'll See..."?

Postby fehnder » Wed Apr 22, 2015 5:14 pm

Maybe a little different as my son died after birth, but the feeling never goes away. I know that doesn't help, but one day at a time is all you can do xx
Ramsey - 13/08/2014 - 19/09/2014 My gorgeous boy grew his wings aged 5 weeks and 2 days

M/c - December 2014I

RAINBOW BFP - 20/01/2015
TEAM PINK! EDD 02/10/15
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Re: Anyone Else Feeling Like "We'll See..."?

Postby CyndiLooWhoo » Thu Apr 23, 2015 8:42 am

I agree, it never leaves you, the loss. I'm so sorry for each of you ladies. It does steal some of the joy. I hope I will move past this feeling.
I know that with my sons, I felt better once I felt movement and started to show.
My beta is climbing, which is great. Im trying to focus on that and sort of let go of the anxiety (near impossible) and realize it's out of my hands.
Hugs to us all.
Cyn (40) DH (42)
DS1(6) DS2 (2)
DS3 due December 19th!

4 Angel Babies, most recently m/c at 8 weeks 1.29.15

4.11.15 BFP @ 12 dpo stick, Baby, stick!
cd 28 beta 327
cd 30 beta 907
5.6.15 :hb: 149 measuring 7 weeks 4 days
6.12.15 It's a BOY! :baby tumble:

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Re: Anyone Else Feeling Like "We'll See..."?

Postby s4mm13 » Fri Apr 24, 2015 4:57 am

I too can't ever fully relax.

Know that you will get through each day however hard and impossible it may seem.

I found this today, bought it and hung it on Oscar and his baby brother/sister's nursery door

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Sums everything up. My beautiful bright shining star and my rainbow.
Me 29
DH 30
Oscar forever 5 months
Our beautiful son Oscar, born 24/2/14 at 32 weeks with Tetralogy of Fallot, oesophageal atresia and tracheo oesophageal fistula. Earned his wings aged 5 months and 1 day.
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Oscar is going to be a big brother. BFP #2 29/11/14

Arlo William, our beautiful rainbow born safely 22nd July 2015

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Re: Anyone Else Feeling Like "We'll See..."?

Postby CyndiLooWhoo » Fri Apr 24, 2015 5:01 am

Love that sign!
Cyn (40) DH (42)
DS1(6) DS2 (2)
DS3 due December 19th!

4 Angel Babies, most recently m/c at 8 weeks 1.29.15

4.11.15 BFP @ 12 dpo stick, Baby, stick!
cd 28 beta 327
cd 30 beta 907
5.6.15 :hb: 149 measuring 7 weeks 4 days
6.12.15 It's a BOY! :baby tumble:

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Re: Anyone Else Feeling Like "We'll See..."?

Postby Pinkpuma » Sat Apr 25, 2015 3:36 pm

I feel so sad reading these. You ladies who are pregnant after these losses are incredibly strong.... really admire you. I had a MMC at 8 weeks (scan showed no heartbeat and baby stopped growing at 6 weeks) That was horrible and being pregnant after that isn't easy but it doesn't compare with what others here have experienced. I also have 2 friends who had stillborn babies (one died at 38 weeks and one at 36) I don't think anyone who has experienced a loss whatever age fully relaxes until a healthy baby is in their arms.
DD1 13.11.93
DD2. 28.5.97
MMC 13.8.13
DS1 1.5.14
Pregnant again EDD 29.11.15
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Re: Anyone Else Feeling Like "We'll See..."?

Postby mrsm44 » Tue Apr 28, 2015 7:20 pm

I agree; it's never easy, and you never take anything for granted again. We just had our rainbow baby; a little girl, born on April 12th. She was early (I was induced because of preeclampsia) and I was terrified. Was I making the right decision? She's doing great now, and came home from the hospital 4 days after being born. She eats like a pig, and has her second doctor's appointment tomorrow and I am willing to bet that she's gained weight. I still worry about crazy things like SIDS. All you can do is hope for the best, and enjoy the present time. I hope those of you that have experienced loss, and find yourself with a BFP now can stay somewhat stress-free, and enjoy the pregnancy. I know that it's very difficult (we had a loss at 5 months my previously pregnancy). I also wish for a happy and healthy 9 months for you!
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November 6th, 2014- NIPT results; decreased risk (1 in 13,000), and It's a Girl!!
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Re: Anyone Else Feeling Like "We'll See..."?

Postby Pinkpuma » Wed Apr 29, 2015 1:27 am

Congratulations on the safe arrival of your little girl. I can't imagine how losing a baby at 5 months must feel like. Yes there's always something to worry about from conception to adulthood! I worried about SIDS with my son and bought an angel monitor with sensor pad... worth every penny.
DD1 13.11.93
DD2. 28.5.97
MMC 13.8.13
DS1 1.5.14
Pregnant again EDD 29.11.15
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Re: Anyone Else Feeling Like "We'll See..."?

Postby Rhondalynn77 » Fri May 01, 2015 9:21 pm

I feel like Im in the same boat. I had a mmc and a chemical following the mmc last year. then months of infertility treatments, then pregnant naturally... the cycle we took off of meds and iui. I also found out 2 3 weeks after the baby passed that there was no heartbeat. I had super pregnancy symptoms still and we saw the heartbeat the day before the baby passed. I always thought, oh, my belly is growing, my nausea is getting worse but it was all the placenta doing the work. Its hard to think that i will hold and see this child. but i pray every time i start looking for spotting, or think about not having this one. I know i cant stop anything that will happen, its just hard not to be a bit nervous about this pregnancy.
Me: Rhonda 37, DH: Brian 38, DS: Elijah 6
Angel Baby April 2014 :angel:
Missed miscarriage baby passed @8w2d miscarried @12w2d-April 12,2014
Chemical May 2014 :angel:
After fertility treatments
Natural BFP TEAM PINK!!!
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