MIL Told Everyone.

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MIL Told Everyone.

Postby mrsm44 » Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:57 pm

I asked her not to tell ANYONE. We went through a loss at 21 weeks, and it's stressful enough to know that I'm pregnant again. But, of course, like I said even when we went through everything, I will still tell the parents when we ended up getting pregnant again. So, I did. My mom was annoying by asking if she could tell my brother, and my aunt. But, my mother in law? She told everyone, including our niece and nephew. One...I am terrified that we will have to make difficult decisions or experience a loss again. Two...wtf? I felt like she stole our thunder..it's OUR news to tell, it's OUR family. So, now everyone knows, and we actually got to tell ONE person...DH's 96 year old grandmother.
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November 6th, 2014- NIPT results; decreased risk (1 in 13,000), and It's a Girl!!
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Re: MIL Told Everyone.

Postby B Michaelson » Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:40 am

Oh that's horrible! I hope you told her how you feel. That would make me so angry and sad. You don't need that stress while you are pregnant.

Maybe she just didn't think but I hope she realizes how much she betrayed your trust and that is hard to repair.

:hugs:
Me - 36
Hashimotos, JHS/EDS, ANA negative, 1 Fallopian tube
DH - 41
TTC #1 Aug 2012 - May 2014
DS - Born Jan 2015
TTC #2 since Aug 2016
May 2017 :bfp:

:angel: Our Angels :angel:
2004 - 7.5 weeks
Oct 2013 - 6w6d ruptured ectopic
Jan 2014 - Chemical

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Re: MIL Told Everyone.

Postby mrsm44 » Thu Oct 09, 2014 5:23 pm

I haven't said anything...I am scared to 'stir the pot'. DH agrees, and I feel better that you've responded too, just because I was feeling like maybe I was being crazy about it. But I believe now that I am justified.
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November 6th, 2014- NIPT results; decreased risk (1 in 13,000), and It's a Girl!!
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Re: MIL Told Everyone.

Postby LiliWS » Thu Oct 09, 2014 7:57 pm

You should totally let her know how terrible the betrayal of your confidence is. For your own mental well-being, she may be the last to know about anything anymore, and she should know this too.
DS 2 y.o: It's a BOY!
8/15- measuring right on schedule, :hb: 143; 9/10 - :hb: 146; 10/22 - :hb: 140

BFP #2: Dec. 2016. It's another boy!
Due date: 9/3/17
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Re: MIL Told Everyone.

Postby mrsm44 » Sat Oct 18, 2014 5:34 pm

Thank you so much, ladies, for confirming that I am not crazy for feeling the way that I do. It made me even more mad that she was kind of laughing about the fact that she told people.
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November 6th, 2014- NIPT results; decreased risk (1 in 13,000), and It's a Girl!!
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Re: MIL Told Everyone.

Postby mrsm44 » Sat Oct 18, 2014 8:21 pm

I finally talked to her about it...I don't feel any better. That was OUR news! She did apologize, and what more can I expect? But...we will never get that moment back where we tell that we're pregnant and they stare at me blankly and then say "how's that going?".
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November 6th, 2014- NIPT results; decreased risk (1 in 13,000), and It's a Girl!!
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Re: MIL Told Everyone.

Postby luvmy2boys73 » Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:35 am

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I totally understand where you're coming from. I suffered a loss in early pregnancy in 2003, the day after I announced to everyone that I was pregnant and that still hurts. So my DH and I decided not to tell anyone but close family about our pregnancy now. We told my mom and his parents, and my sister happened to be there when we told my mom so she ended up finding out. I love my sister dearly, but she has a big mouth. I have discussed it many times with her, explaining that this is our secret and she is to tell no one. She works in my office and I don't want it getting around my office, especially since I just recently got promoted. So what did she do? She blurted it out to everyone at her bridal shower this past weekend, which included guests that also work with us. She did it so casually, like it was as insignificant as what we ate for dinner last night. I was so hurt that I almost burst into tears right there. I couldn't even speak to her. She said she was sorry, and I'm working on being forgiving, but I'm still so hurt. She betrayed my trust and stole my joy, plus potentially caused me grief at work if/when it gets back to my boss. Yes, I will eventually tell my boss myself, but that was up to my DH and I to decide when, not my sister.

It's so hurtful when family does things like that. They're the ones your supposed to be able to trust the most, the ones that should truly understand where you're coming from. I'm glad you were able to confront your MIL about it. Even though it didn't change anything, at least she knows how it made you feel. You are completely justified in feeling that way. My prayers are that everything will be just fine with your little bean and in the end it won't matter as much that she told everyone, though she will probably never be trusted with another secret again!
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Re: MIL Told Everyone.

Postby mrsm44 » Tue Oct 28, 2014 6:39 pm

Ugh! I am so sorry! Thank you so much for your response.
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