What can I do to help DH... so sad!

A special place to talk about your pregnancy after a loss.

Moderators: B Michaelson, southernbelle, jessm, 1daysoon, reapage, Honey Bunny, unaffected, maddy, TrebleLily

What can I do to help DH... so sad!

Postby miss27 » Thu Jan 24, 2008 10:30 am

I am so sad...
Like a lot of you know, I had my third mc in November (all first trimester)... I am finish with all of the testing and will have the result the first week of February.
We will after that be able to TTC again.

My DH is so depress. He his convince that we will never be able to have kids. He belive that they won't find anything wrong with the testing result (witch in 50% of the time they don't) and that there is some super big chance that we never achive a pregnancy to term...

I try to explain to him that if we don't have anything wrong, it could be good. To talk to him about positive stories, to remind him to belive that it could go good... Forget about it, he his to sad for that... He whants to try to conceive again has soon has we have the ok from the doctor, but he just don't belive that we will be lucky enought to have children because of my 3 mc...

It is so sad, it hurt me so much. I just want him to tell me that everything will be okay...

What can I do...
Hot Mama
Hot Mama
Posts: 181
Joined: Sat Feb 17, 2007 1:00 am

Postby huntjumpsc » Wed Apr 09, 2008 10:09 am

I had 2 m/c's last year, both at 6.5 weeks and both were missed. I had to have D&C's on both. I am 34, DH is 31 and neither of us have children. This is my first marriage, and the second for him. His first marriage was a 6 month disaster to a real nutcase.

We have been trying to get pregnant since January of '07. The year was really rough for me~ I lost my 44 year old first pony in Feb, then both barn cats in March & April, my Dad died in May, then in August I had my first m/c, October brought a kidney stone, and December was my 2nd m/c. I went through a good bit of depression and in all honesty, with all that happened, it's a wonder I didn't wind up in the looney bin.

Believe it or not, DH was alot like yours. Instead of being more supportive and understanding, he blamed my doctor, saying he "didn't do enough". Instead of me being the one who was comforted (I'm the one who had the physical loss!) I had to comfort him. We argued round & round over my doctor, who I have gone to for over 16 years, ever since I had to go. He insisted I change to another practice, I flat out refused. I told him it was not up for discussion, I trust my doctor completely and he knows my history, as well as is a family friend. After the 2nd m/c, my doctor referred us to a specialist 2 hours away, and best in the state, which is exactly what I expected him to do.
We have been seeing the specialist since January and I am now 5 weeks pregnant. It took all of my tests coming back normal and hearing it from someone else for him to finally realize that what happened was no one's fault and couldn't have been prevented. My egg count is slightly low & my FSH level is slightly elevated, which the specialist explained puts me at a slightly higher risk for another m/c. I am now on progesterone as well. So far, all of my betas have come back looking great: 644 at 16DPO, 1643 at 18 DPO & 31,080 at 24 DPO. My first U/S is Friday week. DH is very excited and hopeful, now that he knows more about the odds and how to deal with it.
Tell your DH not to be so down. Things will work out in their own time and the way that they should. He needs to be there for you and be your support, and you should be able to lean on him. To feel sorry for himself and act that way is selfish on his part, given what you BOTH are going through. Hope this helps!
Baby Daniel arrived November 25th via c-section! 7lb5oz, 19.5 inches & absolutely perfect!
The baby weight is gone, plus another 7 lbs and the breast reduction recovery is complete!
User avatar
Star Member
Star Member
Posts: 338
Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:00 am
Location: South Carolina

Postby miss29 » Tue Oct 06, 2009 7:34 am

Hi Girls,
I finally had my baby boy on March 22, the day of my 30 th birhday. We are happy but we don't forget where we came from.

Thank You
User avatar
Hot Mama
Hot Mama
Posts: 234
Joined: Sun Aug 31, 2008 12:00 am

Postby LMS172 » Tue Oct 06, 2009 10:08 am

What a wonderful birthday present! I remember you and your struggles. I'm so glad you've finally got your little one with you!

Good luck! :D
Lori - 40 Mike - 45
DSD Megan - 10
DS - Jack 3
DD - Emma born 10/20/11
:angel: 12/05
:angel: 12/06
User avatar
Posts: 621
Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 1:00 am
Location: New Jersey

Postby Allfaith » Sat Nov 07, 2009 10:15 am

What a blessing indeed!!! Congrats!!! :jump: :jump: :jump:
Christina 32 http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/allfaith
ImageX 4
Oct 09 BFP*EDD: 7/16/2010
First Appt: Nov 23, 2009
11DPO Beta:13
14DPO Beta:81
17DPO Beta:345
User avatar
Posts: 11
Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2009 1:00 am
Location: Arizona

Return to Pregnant After a Loss