First pregnancy at 18, feeling alone and need help!

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First pregnancy at 18, feeling alone and need help!

Postby laura_893 » Mon Feb 16, 2015 12:14 pm

Hi all,

So on thursday I found out that I was pregnant and according to clearblues and online calculators i'm about 4.5 weeks. I am thrilled to be pregnant, and i know im incredibly blessed. This is my first ever BFP too. However, although my fiance has been amazingly supportive and i have told some close family, I am feeling very alone. I'm finding it difficult to wrap my head around the fact that i'm pregnant and what that means. I phoned the doctor who i thought would want to see me but they have just marked me as pregnant and said the midwives will phone me between 8-10 weeks.
I'm incredibly nervous that I'll lose this baby, even more so reading all the heartbreaking posts on this board. I get so scared whenever I need a wee that i'll see blood but no blood whatsoever, just ocassional cramping and normal syptoms.

Im testing every day because I feel like this is all a dream. I need support but its too early to reveal to too many people in case something happens. And I just have to wait 4 weeks to be seen by a midwife, and I'm so overwhelmed by it all! What can i expect when i go for my first appointment? What symptoms should make me phone the doctor between now and 10 weeks??
I have had to adjust very quickly to super healthy eating which has been hard after a lot of bad habits. Is it normal to be this scared of something going wrong? Please help, I feel like my whole world has changed and noone understands!

x
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Re: First pregnancy at 18, feeling alone and need help!

Postby shadypersephone » Mon Feb 16, 2015 3:32 pm

What you're feeling is completely normal. The first two months are so stressful! As hard as this sounds, try to stay calm and stay away from Dr Google... he's a very scary dude. as for calling your doctor, call him whenever you feel the need to. I called a lot in the beginning because I had spotting and I'm glad I called. Peace of mind is worth it's weight in gold. Have you tried talking to your fiance or mom about your worries and feelings? my mom and husband provide me tons of support.
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Re: First pregnancy at 18, feeling alone and need help!

Postby BeeCee33 » Mon Feb 16, 2015 3:35 pm

Aw, Laura, first of all congrats! It is completely normal for it to take a while for reality to set in after seeing that bfp. For me, it wasn't until my first appointment at 12 weeks when I got to see the baby on the ultrasound that I really had it sink in, and that was after 6 weeks of nasty morning sickness!

I think there are so many wonderful things about these boards, but one negative thing is that you hear so many heartbreaking stories of everything that can go wrong. While the're are always things that can go wrong, there is no reason to believe it will happen to you. Unfortunately, that too is a realization that will take some time. Try to take it easy and don't overdo it on the testing. Just enjoy the fact that you are going to be a mommy! Each day that goes by, the chance of miscarriage goes down significantly.

It is completely normal for the doctor to not see you until 6-12 weeks. You are always welcome to call for an opinion if something is worrying you. Things that would be of concern are cramping and bleeding together. I think most people experience cramping in early pregnancy and some will notice some spotting. But if the flow of blood is red and looks like your period or if it's accompanied by painful cramps, that would be the time to call the doctor. Another thing would be increasing severe pain on one side, which could be a sign of an ectopic pregnancy. You are young and these things are unlikely, but it's good to be aware.

Another reason to call is if you get morning sickness. Mine hit at 6 weeks on the nose and I was MISERABLE. I ended up going to urgent care and then getting an appointment with the nurse from my OB clinic to get fluids and Zofran to help with the nausea. If you feel miserable, for any reason really, it's worth giving them a call to see if there is anything to be done to help make you more comfortable. (Don't worry, not everyone gets morning sickness like that- I have a sensitive stomach!)

These are big changes coming your way, and they are so scary at first, especially for you being so young I would imagine, but pretty soon that fear will fade and you will be overwhelmed by the love you have for this little life inside you. Words can't explain seeing that first picture of your baby or feeling those first little flutters of life inside you. As this is my first, I can only imagine that moment after birth when you first get to lay your eyes on your baby, but I am SO looking forward to it.

These boards are a great place to connect with others who are in your shoes. Use that to your advantage. Ask whatever questions you have, even if you worry you will sound stupid. Everyone here is so supportive and ready to help ease your mind almost 24/7.

Best of luck and see you around, mama!
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Re: First pregnancy at 18, feeling alone and need help!

Postby adventurer » Mon Feb 16, 2015 8:26 pm

These ladies couldn't have said it better. You are at an ideal biological age for pregnancy. I've seen a 17 year old deliver and a 38 year old deliver and it's no mistake that the 17 year old was in labour for 2 hours and pushed for 20 minutes and bam: baby! Stomach immediately back to normal. It was amazing to behold!

You sound like you're doing all the responsible things any woman would if she found out she was pregnant. You can Google foods that are not recommend in pregnancy: sushi (or any rare/raw meat), alcohol, caffeine in moderation, deli meats, unpasteurized cheeses, many herbal teas. Do take folic acid supplements 1mg per day. A prenatal vitamin is also a good plan if you start getting sick.

Good luck! You won't be lonely here. Lots of support.
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Re: First pregnancy at 18, feeling alone and need help!

Postby laura_893 » Tue Feb 17, 2015 3:52 pm

Thank you ladies so so much. It means a lot to me to have this support. I have managed to hold off testing for two days and try to enjoy the good news. I tested tonight and my line is much darker, which is so reliving. worked out I will be 5 weeks pregnant tomorrow :) and 6 weeks pregnant on my 19th birthday a week after that! Taking prenatal vitamins, and cut out all bad foods. Having fruit smoothies and jackets for lunch, and eating healthy has given me much more energy. Waiting for morning sickness to hit! Hopefully can relax a bit now, just so excited about my first appointment. Whilst thats good to hear that I will hopefully have a good and quick delivery, I Havent even thought about labour or anything yet! too overwhelmed! The doctor receptionist said 'where would you want to have this baby' and I just said I had no idea yet!

I'm having a lot of cramping but absolutely no blood, is this normal?
Thank you so much again, fingers crossed.

How are all your pregnancies going? xx
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Re: First pregnancy at 18, feeling alone and need help!

Postby BeeCee33 » Tue Feb 17, 2015 4:42 pm

Yep, cramps are normal and healthy (unless they are severe, in which case call the doc). It's just baby getting settled in and things getting situated. Mine lasted until about 6 weeks, just in time for the morning sickness to show up!
Last edited by BeeCee33 on Tue Feb 17, 2015 4:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: First pregnancy at 18, feeling alone and need help!

Postby laura_893 » Tue Feb 17, 2015 4:43 pm

Oh and although my fiance is being amazing and very supportive, he doesnt understand the worries as he is so chilled out. He is just thrilled I'm pregnant and says that nothing will go wrong. I havent told my mum yet, very nervous about that x
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Re: First pregnancy at 18, feeling alone and need help!

Postby BeeCee33 » Tue Feb 17, 2015 4:45 pm

Men are often like that, unfortunately. All the worrying is left to us ladies! Make sure you do have a good talk with him if things are really worrying you, but for all the little questions, you've got a lot of people here who understand exactly where you're coming from!
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Re: First pregnancy at 18, feeling alone and need help!

Postby Sumia » Tue Feb 17, 2015 4:59 pm

One thing too is that if he seems like he doesn't care, he really does. Guys just don't understand because it is not happening to them. Some guys are super sensitive and want to know everything, but most guys (like my own hehe) really are happy but are unsure how to show it so they don't and it seems like they don't care. Just tell yourself that you are looking out for baby, but the guys are looking out for you. If you start bleeding, your first thought is baby but the guys is you. Its because they see you, and they don't feel or understand the baby yet but they will!

Also congrats! It's a scary time, especially being so young, but you seem to have a mature attitude and we are all here for you :) Just let us know if you need anything! And I am currently almost 5 weeks, and I totally get the cramping you do! It's not bad enough to take any meds for or have to be constrained to a bed but it's there and you can feel it. Mine come and last maybe 10-15 sec then go away for a while. So I am assuming it's normal as the uterus is just preparing for the new baby :)
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