Can you ease my concerns?

Talk about your birth plan, ask questions, and share advice.

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Can you ease my concerns?

Postby Starbound7 » Wed Jun 01, 2011 8:31 am

There is a chance I will have a c-section b/c I'm 40 + 4 days and baby hasn't dropped, plus I haven't dilated. My OB says 1/3 of first time moms in this situation end in c/s.

I'm doing what I can to avoid this (convinced him to wait to induce me, hired a doula, etc) however if I wait until the end of 42 weeks, it also means my parents will not be able to visit. This makes me really sad.

So I'm trying to ease my concerns of having a c/s so that I can make some decisions. Here are my concerns:

1) I will not bond with the baby as well. I was concerned about this even before the mention of a c/s.

2) PPD will be worse.

3) Breast feeding will be less successful.

4) Recovery will be tough. (I HATE lying around!!!)

5) Complications due to surgery.

6) Not being able to get over my "vaginal birth" dreams.

Are these true possibilities according to your experiences? Any advice on how to make it easier? Also, OB has agreed to give me a trial of labor, but with recovery being my concern, would any of you suggest just requesting an elective c-section?

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Postby ttcintx » Wed Jun 01, 2011 9:13 am

I think from your list, #6 was the hardest for me. I had an unplanned c-sec with my first and an emergency c-sec with my second and had no problems with your list 1-5, no complications, pain, issues with BFing... I don't recall recovering being an issue execpt for with c-sec #2, I could't pick up my almost 2yo for a few weeks. Recovery from both the unplanned and planed (a few hours notice!) was the same for me. But every person has different experiences.

If given the choice, I would def at least do a trial of labor. Not being able to have a vag birth haunts me.
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Postby VAmommy » Wed Jun 01, 2011 11:15 am

I completly understand your concerns. With my DS, I had an emercency CS after 16 hrs of labor. With my dd, I was all set for a VBAC but ended up going to 42 wks never dialated at all so then I scheduled a CS. From my experience, I would say if your heart really wants a vaginal delivery than do everything you can (within safety reasons) to have it. Don't schedule a cs due to parents visiting or just to be done with it because you may regret that you didn't try everything possible.

My two cs experiences were completely different so as for your other concerns all I can do is tell you my experience:
1) I had a hard time bonding with DS because I was just plain exhausted after 16 hrs of labor and a cs. However, with DD I was well rested and bonded with her instantly after she was born.
2) I didn't experience PPD but I don't think it is worse with CS.
3) Breastfeeding was no problem with either child. They are both great nursers :)
4&5) As for recovery it was tough with DS but the planned CS was not that bad. I was up walking that night. I had no complications.
6) I agree with the pp that this was the hardest aspect to deal with after having csections. I think we all have in our head expectations of how things should be and when they don't go as planned we are disappointed.

I know it can be tough facing the possiblity of a c-section but realize that every birth experience is special because it is you bringing your baby into the world. Remember that even vaginal deliveries have complications or babies have trouble breastfeeding. I think what helped me the most the second time around was my state of mind accepting however my dd chose to come into this world was the way it was meant to be. So I just encourage you to do what you feel is best. Do everything you can for a vaginal delivery to avoid the "what ifs" but know in your heart that if a csection is necessary it can be just as special :-) Good luck!
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Postby Starbound7 » Wed Jun 01, 2011 11:37 am

Thank you to both of you for your replies! They really, really, helped considering this update: My biophysical profile revealed that he is breech! This might sound really strange, but as concerned as I was about having a c/s, it is a huge relief! I think because the decision is not really mine any more and I know it is a legitimate reason to have a c/s. I'm sure it will be scheduled (though I haven't talked to OB yet) and so I will be able to prepare a lot better. My family will be able to make it and will be able to stick around for a week to help which eases that concern as well.

I'm just wondering why my OB couldn't tell that he was breech. He told me a week ago he felt the head! I have my doubts he has turned in one week's time!

Thanks again for your replies! They will definitely help me to prepare!
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Postby ivycrystals » Wed Jun 01, 2011 12:42 pm

I had a c/s due to a breech baby. It wasn't the birth I had planned for. But I had an easy surgery, had my baby in my arms and nursing less than 30 min after she was born. And my recovery was easy peasy. If you really want a vaginal birth, you might see if your OB will let you have a trial of labor to see if your baby will turn during labor. My aunt had 2 breech babies and they both turned at almost 42 weeks, right before labor started.

But I can tell you that you can still have a beautiful birth even with a c/s.
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Postby bri78 » Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:50 pm

I was 40 weeks and 5 days when I had my c-section. The day before, the doctor said I was 2 cms dilated and 50-60% effaced, but the only problem was the baby was still high. This was confirmed by ultrasound the same day. My water broke that night and I didnt start contracting on my own, got pit, stalled at 5 cms, baby wasnt coming down anymore, so I got a c-section. I was really terrified for all the reasons you listed and more.

But surprisingly,

I had no trouble bonding with my baby. Once I heard that first cry, I forgot all about how terrified I was of the c-section and just wanted to get it over with so I could see and hold him. Bonding is not a now-or-never event. It takes time.

Hes 3 weeks old now and I have had no depression issues whatsoever. (I even had depression issues before pregnancy.) I was really afraid that I would because having a c-section made me feel like a failure at first, and also I haven't gotten more than 3-4 hours of sleep since he was born because of breastfeeding, but I'm honestly happy.

Breastfeeding got off to a slow start, he slept through feeding times, but I don't think we had any more problems than the average mom. Use your nurses and lactation consultants at every feeding if you need to, they're a huge help!

Recovery sucked the first week. The second week was a whole lot better. Now, I'm basically back to normal. Pain-free.

I have had no complications.

I was torn up over my c-section for the first two weeks. I couldn't even watch my favorite baby shows, because I was jealous of the women who were giving birth vaginally. I think I may always have a sore spot because I didnt have the birth I wanted, but if I can have it next time, all will be forgiven. I'm just happy that all went well and he was healthy.

Good luck and HTH!
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Postby monkeysauce » Wed Jun 01, 2011 7:22 pm

I had a csection under general anesthesia after nine and a half hours of labor. My daughter was face-up and stuck; I dilated from 2 to 8 in two hours, then stopped dilating altogether.

1) I don't think the bonding will be affected unless you allow your feelings about the "failure" to get to you. Having said that, be prepared for your feelings about your baby to evolve slowly. How you feel about the baby right before it's born is, in my experience, very similar to how you'll continue to feel the couple of weeks after it's born.

2) I didn't have any PPD issues. I cried about everything for the first ten days, but that's normal.

3) I do have a piece of hard-learned advice about this: get off the opiates as soon as you can. I was given a morphine button for 24 hours then given a choice between ibuprofen and another opiate. The ibuprofen did a better job with pain relief, and didn't make me or the baby drowsy. Plus it didn't upset my tummy. Anyway--a drowsy baby is bad news for breastfeeding, and opiates do get into breast milk. So get off them.

4) I don't know, I haven't had a natural birth but the recovery just, you know, takes time. They'll make you get up and walk--and leave you to your own devices for getting to the bathroom--within 24 hours. When you check out after 2-4 days, you'll be walking okay. Your first few nights at home, you'll think really hard about getting in and out of bed. And don't do any gardening for at least eight weeks :P

5) Always possible.

6) Sounds like you're over that, and I'm glad. There's no point in getting attached to ANY of your preconceived ideas about labor, birth and parenthood--I've learned that!
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Postby Velity » Thu Jun 02, 2011 7:03 pm

I had a c-section with my third due to my 11+ pound baby.

I agree with the first poster that #6 was my only problem I had too.
With my first two I felt an end to the 9 month build up.
After a scheduled c-section it was just odd to not even go into labor.

I had other complication with my health after my c-section, but the actual healing of the incision and surgery was cake.
It was weird having everything falling back into place more then a natural birth.
I was more sore after my first vaginal delivery with all my stitches in my girl parts.

I was in the hospital for two weeks after having my baby (she was not allowed to be with me) and I couldn't be closer with her now.
A child always knows their mother and loves them unconditionally.

I hope you get to hold your baby sooner then later.
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Postby shermy » Thu Jun 02, 2011 9:36 pm

1) I will not bond with the baby as well. I was concerned about this even before the mention of a c/s.

Was not an issue for me at all! As soon as he lept his way into this world, he was given to my husband, then they brought him over to me. We hung out for a short time and then they took him to do all medical stuff and they finished closing me up. The second I was in recovery they were there encouraging me to do kangaroo care and a LC was in the recovery area with me working on breastfeeding (I requested this prior to the c-section. I had no idea what I was doing). Ugh, honestly, it doesn't matter how the baby arrives (IMO) it is that they arrive with both of you healthy.

2) PPD will be worse.

I don't have any PPD experience or depression experience - but I can tell you that I DIDN'T have PPD.

3) Breast feeding will be less successful.

We were good to go! It was super successful, He had trouble latching but that wasn't him, that was me. We got it resolved quickly.

4) Recovery will be tough. (I HATE lying around!!!)

I didn't lay around. I was annoyed that they don't let you drive after you give birth (!). After the first day I was up and walking around, taking pictures of my husband and the baby....by the end of the 3 days I was bored of walking around the halls. I wanted to go! I won't lie though, the first couple weeks had there ups and downs. Pain medication helped, but I only took it when I really needed it.

5) Complications due to surgery.

I wish I could comment more on this, but I can't. I had some excessive bleeding. My son was stuck sunny side up and didn't make any downward movement after 5 hours of pushing. However, when it came to the c-section he lept from the womb and was ready to go........ripping the incision inside and out.

6) Not being able to get over my "vaginal birth" dreams.

This I can't comment on. I have NEVER had vaginal birth dreams. I actually never ever ever ever thought about having a baby any other way. A c-section NEVER crossed my mind until it came down to deciding to have one. I didn't even pack clothes that would be comfortable with an incision.

I wouldn't have chosen one right off the bat, but having had one didn't ruin anything for me. It was the best decision at the time - and the surgeon agreed. Poor baby had a line mid forehead for a few weeks. I don't regret a single thing about how my son came into this world and I look back on everything fondly. I was SO SCARED to have one, but turns out, not that bad!

The one lasting thing to think about, and seriously think about, that I don't love about having had a c-section is....it doesn't seem like there is any good way to give birth the next time. VBAC scares me, another c-section scares me. Aye aye aye. That could just be my nervous self though. [/b]
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Postby Hunnybunny22 » Fri Jun 03, 2011 1:35 am

i had a vbac this time round i was 42 + 1 and very big, the baby hadnt come down i laboured very fast for 1.5 hours all they did was use forceps and i got the vaginal birth i wanted. no c section for me because the labor was fast. any slower and i would have had one but my c sec was an emergency one the first time and it was awful i was 9cm and rushed down because my sons heart rate wouldnt recover so the syntocinon was stopped and epidural topped up and he was a c sec baby
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Postby wifeymaeg » Tue Jun 14, 2011 1:51 pm

1) I will not bond with the baby as well. I was concerned about this even before the mention of a c/s.

Definitely was not an issue for me. As soon as I heard him crying, I was filled with emotion. I could not wait to hold him in my arms.

2) PPD will be worse.

I did not have any baby blues or PPD. I had one very cranky day, due to lack of sleep and too much time with my parents, and that was it.

3) Breast feeding will be less successful.

I had milk in one breast before we left the hospital (2dpp) and milk in the other the following day. I BF for 6 months, and would've gone longer but he had a milk allergy and it was just too much for me. I miss it so much!

4) Recovery will be tough. (I HATE lying around!!!)

It's much better if you don't lay around. The first day is awful, but after that it gets better every day. After about 10 days, I was almost 100%. It probably would've been faster but I didn't move enough.

5) Complications due to surgery.

Not an issue for me either. Surgery was a blessing after so long in a stalled labor. Recovery was fine. I had no complications.

6) Not being able to get over my "vaginal birth" dreams.

I'd agree with pp that this is the hardest part. But honestly, just having him is fine with me. I wish things had gone differently, but it is what it is.

You've probably had your baby now, but I wanted to post anyways. I hope everything went well for you.
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Postby zoomom » Sat Jul 02, 2011 11:06 pm

I had a c-section with twins last year and to be honest I went into actual shock when they started wheeling me into the O.R. but now that I went through it I am glad I had it done. I am pregnant again and will be getting another one in October and am actually relieved because my first one was not as bad as I thought.
- I bonded with my babies IMMEDIATELY.
- No complications with the surgery.
- I recovered in 3 days and was up and about doing stuff the doctor would kill me for if he found out!
- I breast fed 2 babies for 3 months without any problems. I choose to stop on my own will because I was going back to work but probably could have gone longer.
- I have never experienced one day of PPD or any unhappiness since the birth of my twins. If anything I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.

I know there are so many women out there who are adament about having a vaginal birth and how important that is to them, but I am definitely not one of them. I support their feelings but for me, the less pain the better and since I didn't have much if any pain after my surgery I am happy with that alone. Try not to worry so much about it (easier said than done I know). You are pregnant with a beautiful child and he/she will be perfect no matter how they come into this world.
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