I can't comprehend some people. I really can't

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I can't comprehend some people. I really can't

Postby LaraE » Tue May 29, 2012 7:03 am

So, this weekend I had a annual reunion with my cousins. Every year we meet at our grandparent's gravesite and we plant flowers etc then we go to one of my cousin's house for a cookout. It's really nice. Usually.

Well I have one cousin who thinks she is in charge of everyone and their life. She is notorious for instructing people on how to live their lives and telling them what they should do, and no one ever asks her for advice/ Thing is, she's a therapist and she thinks she knows best for everyone.

It normally doesnt bother me too much. I let it roll off my back. bUt this weekend she really hit a nerve. We were sitting in the living room of my cousins house and I told him I need to go nurse Abby in his son's bedroom. Well my bossy cousin pipes up in front of the entire crowd "You're feeding her AGAIN???" I said "yeah, it's 4:00, she last nursed at 1:30, that's 2.5 hrs, duh" Well I had fed her some veggies about an hour before this and my bossy cousin thought that was sufficient and I shouldn't need to nurse her again so soon????

Anyway, the rest of the people were like 'yeah, she needs to feed her baby so basically shut up' then she says "see that's why she doesnt sleep through the night. she's attached to the boob" I said, no thats NOT why she doesnt sleep through the night, she has a hard time getting into a deep sleep on her own, she tries and sometimes gets frustrated and I have to help her. (not that ANY of this is any of her damn business)

then, the ultimate. She says to me "well, if you'd just IGNORE her....."


Ignore my baby??? Excuse me? Why on earth would i ever IGNORE my baby?

All this, coming from someone who HAS NO CHILDREN OF HER OWN!!

I was livid and Im still mad about it days later.

HOW DARE SHE!
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Re: I can't comprehend some people. I really can't

Postby Em » Tue May 29, 2012 8:32 am

LaraE wrote:All this, coming from someone who HAS NO CHILDREN OF HER OWN!!


Isn't this often the way? Even the most educated person who's read every book on every baby subject still cannot know how they will be when they actually have their own LOs. It becomes even more infuriating when they impose what they *think* they'll do as a parent on others and judge their choices.

I'd be livid as well. Hopefully she'll revise her thinking before ignoring her own babies later on. That's atrocious parenting advice.
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Postby jessm » Tue May 29, 2012 8:33 am

Hugs! My MIL is the same way "he needs to eat AGAIN?!?" Well if you were on a liquid diet, you would need to eat often too lol

People who don't have kids and give advice are idiots :)
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Postby fodla » Tue May 29, 2012 6:07 pm

I'd probably laugh and call her out on her ignorance.

I don't recommend doing that, though. :p
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Postby LaraE » Tue May 29, 2012 7:09 pm

oh believe me, I have plans for the next time I see her at a family event in July. Revenge will be sweet.
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Postby jessm » Wed May 30, 2012 5:09 am

^like
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Postby JanuaryMama » Wed May 30, 2012 5:36 am

This is why the term "MAMA knows best" was coined and not "Cousin/Auntie/ MIL knows best" lol. Sorry to hear about the ignorant people in your life. So frustrating!!
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Re: I can't comprehend some people. I really can't

Postby stefanielynn » Wed May 30, 2012 7:02 am

Em wrote:
LaraE wrote:All this, coming from someone who HAS NO CHILDREN OF HER OWN!!


Isn't this often the way? Even the most educated person who's read every book on every baby subject still cannot know how they will be when they actually have their own LOs. It becomes even more infuriating when they impose what they *think* they'll do as a parent on others and judge their choices.

I'd be livid as well. Hopefully she'll revise her thinking before ignoring her own babies later on. That's atrocious parenting advice.


EXACTLY. Or anyone who hasn't breastfed judging anyone who breastfeeds past (insert time here: a few weeks, a few months, a year). They just don't *get* it. So glad the others in the room saw how ridiculous she was being.
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Re: I can't comprehend some people. I really can't

Postby jessm » Wed May 30, 2012 7:36 am

stefanielynn wrote:
Em wrote:
LaraE wrote:All this, coming from someone who HAS NO CHILDREN OF HER OWN!!


Isn't this often the way? Even the most educated person who's read every book on every baby subject still cannot know how they will be when they actually have their own LOs. It becomes even more infuriating when they impose what they *think* they'll do as a parent on others and judge their choices.

I'd be livid as well. Hopefully she'll revise her thinking before ignoring her own babies later on. That's atrocious parenting advice.


EXACTLY. Or anyone who hasn't breastfed judging anyone who breastfeeds past (insert time here: a few weeks, a few months, a year). They just don't *get* it. So glad the others in the room saw how ridiculous she was being.


FOR REAL. My MIL doesn't understand why I feel so strongly about BM and thinks I am insane to not wean him right at a year. :roll:
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Re: I can't comprehend some people. I really can't

Postby Em » Wed May 30, 2012 10:52 am

jessm wrote:
stefanielynn wrote:
Em wrote:
LaraE wrote:All this, coming from someone who HAS NO CHILDREN OF HER OWN!!


Isn't this often the way? Even the most educated person who's read every book on every baby subject still cannot know how they will be when they actually have their own LOs. It becomes even more infuriating when they impose what they *think* they'll do as a parent on others and judge their choices.

I'd be livid as well. Hopefully she'll revise her thinking before ignoring her own babies later on. That's atrocious parenting advice.


EXACTLY. Or anyone who hasn't breastfed judging anyone who breastfeeds past (insert time here: a few weeks, a few months, a year). They just don't *get* it. So glad the others in the room saw how ridiculous she was being.


FOR REAL. My MIL doesn't understand why I feel so strongly about BM and thinks I am insane to not wean him right at a year. :roll:


Mine thought I was nuts for going past six months.
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Postby jessm » Wed May 30, 2012 12:12 pm

I've heard of this. The World Health Organization recommends nursing until age 2. So I don't know what everyone's problem is. :roll:
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Postby stefanielynn » Wed May 30, 2012 12:36 pm

I just tell them matter of factly, "yes, I'm still breastfeeding. I let my son wean and I'll let her do the same". I've learned the more confident I am and the less excuses/reasons I give, the less likely they are to push it. I'm sure they judge and talk behind my back, but whatever. I'm doing what I feel is best for my kids...get over it.
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Postby Em » Wed May 30, 2012 4:02 pm

jessm wrote:I've heard of this. The World Health Organization recommends nursing until age 2. So I don't know what everyone's problem is. :roll:


I mentioned this when MIL and someone else were discussing the inappropriateness of a co-worker's wife still BFing their 14 month old. They asked my opinion on it (DS was only a newborn at the time), and I brought up the WHO recommendations. MIL said that because it was the WHO, the guidelines were probably more with third-world countries in mind, where nutritional food may be not be as widely available. I tried not to ever discuss BF with her again after that.

She also let me read the baby journal she wrote when raising DF and I saw that she was giving him steak at 3 months. I don't think we'll ever see eye to eye on feeding issues.
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Postby jessm » Thu May 31, 2012 5:08 am

My MIL used to put PEANUT BUTTER on my husbands pacifier to get him to take it. Or honey!?!?!?!?! And she got all mad when I said they say not to put cereal in the bottle, and that its a myth that it makes them STTN. She actually laughed at me. A woman who put peanut butter on her 3 month olds pacifier is not going to give me feeding advice. When she says "they used to tell us the complete opposite and our kids turned out fine" it takes everything I have not to respond "America's obesity rate is the highest its ever been, along with the food allergies." I don't want to make her feel like she was a bad mother, but I want her to get off of my non existent balls lol
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Postby stefanielynn » Thu May 31, 2012 1:30 pm

jessm wrote:"America's obesity rate is the highest its ever been, along with the food allergies." I don't want to make her feel like she was a bad mother, but I want her to get off of my non existent balls lol


RIGHT???!
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