Ideas for weaning frustration?

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Ideas for weaning frustration?

Postby HappyBaby » Sun Oct 13, 2013 8:04 pm

My son is 15 months and I am currently 3 months pregnant. I was/am planning to wean at 18 months but I am running into some rough waters. He has cut down to nursing just at night. He was nursing when he got up and at night but he kind of stopped the am nursing on his own. I have started cutting him off before he falls completely asleep and then I sing and rock him. It's been working ok but he gets a little frustrated at first so it's a struggle the first few minutes.

My biggest issue is that his father just recently left on military training and he's having a rough time of it. Tonight he got really angry when I took him off and he jumped up and bit my breast really hard. I know the tantrum is out of frustration but I can't have him beating me because of it. I am torn between needing to wean him (it's too much with the pregnancy and I need a break before the next baby comes) and wanting to comfort him during a very stressful time in his little life.

Any suggestions, or weaning advice? I have been dreading all of this. I am not going to completely wean until Dec so I have a while to go but I am predicting a struggle.
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Re: Ideas for weaning frustration?

Postby carak21 » Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:24 am

I am by no means a weaning expert, as I am having a hard time with it myself. I pretty much am just weaning the feeds during the day because DS will start daycare after his first birthday and obviously he cannot nurse there. I just recently cut out the nursing session before his first nap and he threw a tantrum the first day but I just kept offering the pacifier even after several tries of spitting it out and I continuously repeated, "no more milk, I'm sorry I love you". Now it is day 4 and he still is spitting out the pacifier to nurse but when I offer it again he has given up the fight. Good luck :)
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Re: Ideas for weaning frustration?

Postby jessm » Wed Oct 30, 2013 11:45 am

How is it going?

The best way to wean is to only take away one session at a time and save the favorite session for last. You can offer something else or distract until they forget. If nursing is too much for me at the moment I usually offer my son a cup of milk or a Danimal smoothie drink, which normally satisfies him for a bit. Or I take him outside if it's during the day, which is his favorite thing to do and he instantly forgets he wanted "nurt"
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Re: Ideas for weaning frustration?

Postby HappyBaby » Wed Oct 30, 2013 9:08 pm

Thanks for asking Jess!

We have cut down to just one session at night. We have even gotten to the point where he is only nursing on one side (I am wondering if I'm not drying up a little due to the pregnancy). I have been working on coming up with other ways to comfort him to sleep during his nap times (which was the latest nursing session we dropped). He still fights it but it's getting better. Even at night time when he has a harder time going down he used to nurse back to sleep and now we just rock and sing. It may take me longer to put him to bed but who doesn't love cuddle time with their babies?

My only concern is that he has hit the point where he is actively seeking out the nursing. He will climb into my lap and pull down my shirt which just started happening within the last week or so. I have a feeling this type of "I want it" attitude will make it harder when I cut it out completely but by then his dad will be back from training and he can help me distract him.

All in all I am feeling more positive about being able to do it. I think the slower weaning is also helping me prepare emotionally for that "severance" from my child. I am feeling better about it vs. the blubbering mess I thought I would be. lol :D
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Re: Ideas for weaning frustration?

Postby jessm » Mon Nov 11, 2013 9:19 am

That's good. I am so nervous about weaning. I still can't believe I haven't done it yet, he just doesn't seem ready. I think when I get pregnant I will do it, I definitely want him to have forgotten about his precious "nurt" when baby 2 arrives. As sad as it makes me that I am the only one who will remember how close the bond of mom/nursling is, I know that's just the way it is.
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Re: Ideas for weaning frustration?

Postby litmajor » Mon Nov 11, 2013 9:31 am

How is it going? We are weaning during pregnancy too. DD is down to once in the morning. I've noticed she seems less distracted now that it's all she's getting. She has recently kind of pawed at my shirt during the day, but doesn't actually seem to care if she nurses or not. No idea how long this last session will last for, but I'm starting to get sad.
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Re: Ideas for weaning frustration?

Postby HappyBaby » Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:43 pm

It's going well. I am having to ask him at night now if he wants to nurse vs. him automatically coming to me. I am starting to get really sore so the sessions are getting shorter and his reactions to being cut off early are getting less upsetting. I think that it's going to be easier than what I originally expected. It makes me sad to think that this will be it with him. It's not like that kind of closeness will start up again once the new baby comes, but I am trying to come up with special rituals and things that just the two of us do to replace that loss of breastfeeding connection.

I'm glad things are going well for you. Are you sore or drying up at all? He's only really interested in one side and I'm thinking the other one is dwindling off. It will be so weird and liberating to be done. I'll keep my fingers crossed your transition goes well.
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Re: Ideas for weaning frustration?

Postby litmajor » Wed Nov 13, 2013 7:17 am

What I've started doing after her afternoon nap is getting her a sippy of milk and we cuddle on the couch while watching cartoons. She's started being kind of clingy when she first wakes up, so it helps with that and it's a nice little time for us. So so hoping this will work when baby #2 is here.

Both sides are still producing milk, but I don't get sore or leak in between feeds. I did try to drop down to once a day a little too quickly a few weeks ago, and woke up with the most sore, engorged nips (not the rest of the boob, just that?). I gave being down to twice a day a little longer, then tried once last week sometime I think, and it's been ok since then.

Glad to hear it's a bit easier than you thought it would be!
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